Lawn Geese

Just recently had to drive into Indiana. I would know I had passed into Indiana even without the road signs, because of the sudden prevalence of lawn “art.” Plywood cut outs of fat women’s butts, Dutch children kissing, wagon wheels, LAWN JOCKEYS (don’t get me started), but most of all, cement geese.

I don’t know why, but Hoosiers are really enamored of their cement geese. They are everywhere. And they wear clothes. Mostly gingham aprons and bonnets, but occasionally seasonal things, like Santa hats.

I do not understand the lure of lawn geese, and I’m not kidding when I say they are everywhere. Lawn geese must be a huge industry in Indiana.

Is there something I’m missing? What is the special attraction of cement geese?


–Rowan
Shopping is still cheaper than therapy. --my Aunt Franny

Maybe because they don’t turn your lawn into a mud pit by eating the grass and pooping everywhere like real geese do.


“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy

Hallelujah! Rowan’s here!

You are just about my favorite poster in all SDMBdom! Bless you!

As for lawn geese, I must say that if its tacky, Hoosiers dig it, big time! AOL’s online thesaurus defines a Hoosier as an “ignorant rustic.” Having a license to practice in Indiana, and living close enough to the god-forsaken territory to spit and hit Hammond, I have to say that “class” and Hoosierdom mix like oil and water.

Did you notice the lawn gnomes and the little frogs too? What about the Pink Flamingos? Heavens to Murgatroid!


SoxFan59
“Its fiction, but all the facts are true!”

Hey! I take exception to that “ignorant rustic” remark. We have many examples of wit, culture and intelligence here in old Hoosierville, like, um,… oh, dear, I was *sure[/i/] there was something.

Anyway, I live here and I don’t get the cement goose thing. Or the lawn jockies tactfully painted white. I can’t imagine a reason you’d want to have a reflecting chrome ball in your yard, either.

But flamingos - now you’re talkin’.

Flamingos, nuthin’. Gimme a yard cow, any day.
Peace,
mangeorge


Work like you don’t need the money…
Love like you’ve never been hurt…
Dance like nobody’s watching! Source???

>>Anyway, I live here and I don’t get the cement goose thing. Or the lawn jockies tactfully painted white.<<

Umm, yeah-- I passed one, the face had been painted white – DEAD white – but not the hands…


–Rowan
Shopping is still cheaper than therapy. --my Aunt Franny

It isn’t just in Indiana. My mother has a lawn goose on her porch in Pittsburgh, and I’ve seen several others around the city. They sell all manner of clothes for them, including Santa suits with fake beards and bikinis for summer. I don’t really know what the appeal is, but they’re kinda cute.

I want a lawn kitty. The one I’m in love with is sitting up on his hind feet gesturing like he’s playing with something. I think he’d be cute under the rhododenderons, making like he’s swatting at the lower branches, but my husband thinks the neighbor kids would steal or vandalize it. I think he’d just be embarrassed by it.

And I still think, having experienced the real thing, a stone goose in the yard would be preferable to having a live one.


“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy

Hey, whatever floats your boat. I’m on the lookout for a six-foot high polynesian tiki. I’m going to put it where it is most likely to annoy my neighbors: Right, smack in the front lawn!

[[Anyway, I live here and I don’t get the cement goose thing. Or the lawn jockies tactfully painted white. I can’t imagine a reason you’d want to have a reflecting chrome ball in your yard, either. ]]

Hey, the gazing spheres, in the right place, can be damn groovy. You get a really distorted “surround sound” 360 sort of view, , making it easier to see the cops sneaking up on you for partaking in the recreational activies required to obtain the full enjoyment of the gazing sphere.

Get kids with bubbles, or butterfly attracting plants, then stick one of the gazing spheres in the middle of a well landscaped garden, and those globes can be pretty nifty.

Put one in the middle of your average lawn, and they’re as pointless as those damn plastic flamingo tornado magnets.

Ya gotta have perspective.


Suze – what AM I doing? – anne


The Burning Begins Anew at
http://www.second-troy.com/

At last, someone asks a burning question that the boggles the Teeming Millions Gray Matter!

I don’t get Porch/Yard Geese at all. At least they are not as insipid as the fat lady bending over cut outs. When I see those, I just want to get a shot gun and hit that broad side of the that barn.

There is one family around here that every Halloween, they take jeans and stuff them with hay (or something) and stick them waist side down in the ground to look like skydivers landed, sans chute, on the lawn. It’s my favorite display.


Bigamy is having one wife to many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde

There is a house just down the road from me (ATL) with two lawn geese in the front yard, so they’ve spread to the deep south.

My favorite is the house that, every christmas, sets up a sleigh being pulled by nine pink flamingos.

The one in the lead has its beak painted red.

“You can’t run away forever; but there’s nothing wrong with getting a good head start.” — Jim Steinman

Dennis Matheson — Dennis@mountaindiver.com
Hike, Dive, Ski, Climb — www.mountaindiver.com