LC's Back From A Week Of Fundie Fun With Disabled Kids!!!

As those few of you who follow my adventures know, I recently went to be a volunteer counselor at a camp for disabled kids. I knew this camp was Christian-based. I knew they were conservatve. Whatever, I thought, I just want to help kids, do my part, and grow personally and spiritually. Hah.

The van ride was two days of fun religious debate with my fundie pals from the church (yes, I know I brought this on myself, never raise your beliefs with fundies). When we got to the camp we were greeted by a boombox playing fundie rap songs (“Come on listen up 'cuz we got the story straight, we know there wasn’t nobody was descended from apes”. No kidding), T-Shirts with fundie slogans (“This Earth Is Not My Home”, “True Love Waits”, “Project Something: Bringing The Gospel To Las Vegas” etc.") and other fun stuff.

I was still thinking, this is cool, the people will be nice, I can grow here. I will serve the community of Earth, and be happy. The people were genuinely excited about the chance to help these kids have some fun. The campers arrived, and I met mine, a kid named Tyler with severe Cerebral Palsy that left him with virtually no speech, no functioning legs and one working arm. He also had severe behavioral problems too. Each night he would pound the wall and scream as loud as he could for attention, which led us eventually to sedating him so the other kids in the cabin could sleep. He also swore like a sailor, and liked to fight you while you dressed him, showered him, changed his diapers, etc.

Anyway, showing the good taste fundies are famous for, this camp did their very best to brainwash these poor little kids who had just come for a week of fun. One of the more offensive things was a song that consisted in part of this:

Everyone: I wish I had a little black box to put the devil in. I’d take him out and


Song Leader: What?


Song Leader: What?

I would just like to brag for myself a little bit, and say that I was told by the directors that I had the most difficult kid in the camp, and that I was doing a great job. Yay me.

After a week of me not really being able to connect with my camper, being aggravated by the fundies, and generally being exhausted (think 2 consecutive 20 hour days) I got to go back on the vans with the fundie pals I came with and argue yet more philosophy. I was treated with such gems as:
Why we should all hate gay people

How the world is obviously only 10,000 years old, and in the beginning, people lived to be 800 or whatever.

How genetics is “just a bunch of scientific lies”

How there is no accurate way to date any fossils of any kind

How Wiccans are actually unwitting Satanists.

How the placebo effect doesn’t exist

How “the big bang goes against every theory of biology, astronomy and physics”

And naturally no backup was offered for this except the fact that the Bible says so.

The fun thing about this was that I was referencing Thomas Aquinas, Renee Descartes, Tim Keller, Ayn Rand/Anton Lavey (they wrote the same stuff. I swear!) and these religious scholars hadn’t heard of any of it. Hmmm.

I went to serve. I wanted to help. I wanted to grow personally and spiritually. The fundies fucked it up.

I won’t be mad if the mods move this to the pit, it came out more ranty than I planned.

Lucky Charms

Ouch. Sounds like you had one Hell of a time. But I must ask, do the fundies know how to party like it was 1999? (B.C., of course). had a hilarious article about this last month, but I can’t find it now.

I’m thinking I’m going to print the OP off and keep it to threaten my disabled daughter with. “Doe, if you don’t turn that stereo down I’m gonna send you to Lucky Charm’s camp.” or, “Dammit, Doe, roll your eyes at me one more time and you’re romming with Tyler!”

“We’ll Help You Move” :smiley:

Gee . . . When I went to summer camp as a kid, they never handed out sedatives . . .

Confuscious (sp?) say: at summer camp as in life, you must earn your sedatives.

Lucky Charms

About 7 years ago, I was a volunteer for a summer camp for 7-14 (IIRC) run by the Arlington County (VA) Government. I was there for the entire season, 4 two-week sessions. First week in a high school, second down in Prince William Forest. Two consecutive 20-hour days? Try five consecutive 16-hour days! We did get two half-hour breaks per day, the second of which was around 10pm when all the campers were supposed to be asleep. And our campers brought their own medication.

This is why I’m not a Baptist anymore. yes, I used to be a Southern Baptist, the most virulent strain. I grew tired of the Jack Chick school of tolerance. After much searching I ended up in the Evangelical Lutheran church. The liturgy and tradtions of Lutheran without the hardcore fundieism of the Missouri and Wisconson Synonds. We’re pretty liberal, on par with the Episcopaleans. We certainly don’t hate gays. We welcome and affirm them as much as anyone else.


Well, let me say, Lucky, your heart was in the right place.
You were there to help kids, not brain wash them!