My remaining cat hasn’t been taking it well. He still cries very loudly at times throughout the day. Wondering around the house looking for his brother.
I tried to give him as much attention as possible to calm him down. But it has had limited success.
And now in a couple of weeks I will be leaving town for 3 days.
Normally when I do this I just leave a big giant bowl of food out and leave them to theirselves. Which they have always done fine.
But this time he is going to be by himself for the first time in 15 years. He’s already lonely. But at least he still has his human. How I’m about to take that away too.
Yikes, I am so worried about his mental state.
Am I overthinking this? Is there something I can do?
I’m wondering if there’s a service where I can pay somebody to just come over and give some attention to him at least for a little while.
My daughter had this issue when she lived alone in SoCal. She found and hired someone to do exactly as you mention - come over for an hour or two daily to ensure feed, water, and entertainment. Her cat was single, tho, and was used to being alone. That arrangement did not end well when the cat bit the sitter and the sitter walked out and refused to go back, while my daughter was 1,000 miles away.
Have you considered a pet hotel? I know they are common for dogs but IIRC some of them care for cats, too. He may hate that option, but he may hate it less than being alone.
Call your vet and get a pet sitter outfits number.
They have boarding, sitters staying fulltime and visiting daily sitters. Cost should be affordable. According to your area.
Hope for no bites. Most of these people are good intentioned. Doesn’t mean they have any special training.
I use a service called Time to Pet. No idea if it’s a franchise. I have three cats one elderly needs a pill everyday so no way can I leave them alone longer than 24 hr. It was very affordable and I had them come once a day for a 30 min visit. They fed watered played scooped litter and sent pictures. I’ve been gone as long as 10 days and I return to mellow aloof cats. Job well done!
I also leave a radio playing just to break the silence when they’re alone.
Once when we were about to leave for the airport one of the cats freaking escaped the house and disappeared. I let the pet sitter know and off we went. For about three days I’d get reports of a sighting and they’d leave out food. One report was your cat is on the roof! Next visit she was lounged on a chair, allowed herself to get picked up but turned inside out when the door opened but they managed to get her in.
As others have said: Some areas do indeed have pet sitters you can hire. Check references. Your vet may be able to refer you to someone Try to get the person to come over beforehand while you’re still there for introductions.
Have you a friend who the cat already knows who can come spend time with him?
And – right before you leave is not the time to do this; but have you considered getting him another cat? Maybe not a kitten, who might be too much for him; but another moderately old but not as old cat who is used to living with other cats. Shelters are often trying to find homes for such cats. Make sure you can return the addition if it turns out he hates the idea or hates the specific new cat; but don’t judge by the immediate first reaction, give it some time.
Just today I did day 2 of cat sitting for a friend. He has 2 very skittish reclusive cats (both feral rescues but not related). I refresh the water fountain, top off the dry kibble bowl and put a can of Fancy Feast in two little bowls, then I sit on one of his comfy chairs and read my latest library book or cruise da Dope on my iPad for maybe an hour, to give the kitties some sounds and smells of their having a a human attendant daily. One cat I’ve seen each day when he comes out to sample what flavor of Fancy Feast it is while I’m reading a few yards away. The only way I can tell that there is still a second cat is by the amount of cat deposits in the litter boxes.
The friend helps me file my taxes so he knows I’m living on Social Security~he gives me $20 cash a day even though I don’t expect it-after all, he doesn’t bill me for helping me with my taxes and homestead exemption every year. It’s about a 15 minute drive at most to his apt and a nice change of four walls for me.
I’m no expert in the psychology of cats, and certainly not of your cat in particular—how they perceive time, how they deal with changes to their routine, etc. I don’t know that being alone for what feels to the cat like an indefinite amount of time, then a visit from a stranger, then being alone for an indefinite amount of time, would be any better than just being alone for an indefinite amount of time.
Would it help if you left a TV or radio on while you were gone? Would it help if you somehow left a recording of your voice playing while you were gone? Would it help if you left out clothes that had your scent on them where he could lie on them?
I have been in a similar situation: had two cats that I occasionally had to leave on their own for two or three days, and one of them outlived the other by several years. In my case, I just continued leaving the remaining cat on her own for a couple of days when I had to, and it seemed to work out okay. But my cat and her situation was not your cat and his situation. For all I know, leaving your cat alone for three days might do some lasting psychological harm, or it might actually help him come to terms with the new normal of being an only cat.
You say you’re leaving in a couple weeks — why not try and see how your cat reacts to some time alone?
Program some mellow background music, and get out of your home awhile. Start with short intervals, and work up to spending a night away at a hotel or with a friend/relative.
I think it’ll help that, while you’ve never left him without the companion cat, you have left for several days at a time before. If you’d never been away overnight at all in his experience, that would be more disturbing.
Again, if you’re hiring a service: get them to come over while you’re still there, so the cat knows that this is someone who you’re deliberately letting in the house.
I knew someone who did this, she had a medium sized RV that was her daily driver & backup shelter but the majority of time she lived in someone’s house, a week or so at a time. Technically, she was homeless but got to stay in some nice houses & got paid for doing such.
I got a sitter. My coworker’s daughter is looking for some summer time work. So she’s going to babysit. Mother assures me cat will get lots of cuddles because she loves cats.
Also made the decision to adopt a cat. I was going to take more time to get over the loss of my cat but my other cat is stressing. So maybe now is the time.
Found a cute tuxedo cat. Just have to wait for her caretaker to call me back for a time to meet.
Seem to have answers, but here is what I would have said:
Yes, your cat should not be left alone for several days at this time.
Having a friend or neighbor whom the cat knows stop in once a day or so is better than hiring a stranger sitter.
If you need to get a sitter you don’t know, ask your vet for a recommendation.
Tell them your routine: what time you feed, how often to change litter, etc. so they do what the cat is used to.
leaving clothes you’ve worn, unwashed on the bed, couch will comfort your cat.
Also, now might be time to consider getting another cat for the household. Even if you aren’t ready yet, your cat seems to be lonely.
I suspect you took your other cat off to the vet – and it never came back!
In many years of dealing with cats & other animals, I’ve found that leaving the deceased body of the other cat in your home for a few hours, and allowing your other cat(s) to sniff & inspect the body seems to help the surviving cat(s). They still mourn and become lonely, but they know what happened and don’t do that wandering & looking for the other.
Sort of like how we humans hold a wake with the deceased or their casket on view.
