Okay dopers, please share with me some of your wisdom. I’m a high school senior trying to figure out where to go to school next year. Right now, my two top picks are Johns Hopkins U. or UC San Diego. I’m not asking for advice on which school is better because they’re both great institutions at the very top of the field I’m interested in. I’m more concerned about the whole going away from home thing. As you can read to the left, I live in California (norcal more specifically) so Hopkins will be a whole country away.
A week ago, I came back from visiting Hopkins for the weekend with my heart set on attending the school as part of the class of ’07 but now I’ve backed off a tad. I really enjoyed Hopkins from my visit but this may change when I’m really there and studying my butt off. As for UCSD…yeah it’s cool (especially the library. Wow!) and I can see myself going there too.
I guess I’m still leaning towards Hopkins but I want some input. I’ve been asking friends for their opinions but the best advice I’ve gotten is to ask people with life experience instead of my own peers. So dopers, please help me out by talking about your own going away from home experience for college/a job/the military/a guy, girl/etc. and how the change was.
hookay, I’m from norcal and ended up going to Davis after getting accepted at Berkeley. I wanted to go much further away, but none of the UC schools except UCSD seemed like my kind of thing. Going out of state was just prohibitively expensive. So, I went close to home but probably went home less than anyone in my entire dorm. I kept doing karate at my old dojo, which at the time time was quite important to me. Then when I did go far away, it was to Asia and I pretty much haven’t been back since.
San Diego is really the only place in socal I’d consider living. Going to school there would really be awesome. You can be as academically challenged as you want, yet also be able to enjoy the warm beach environment. i’d give it a big vote for UCSD.
Leaving home is never easy.
The nice thing about “home” is, you can always come back. Do not burn any bridges…tell everyone you are going to give it a “try”. That way, if you decide it is not what you want, transferring from a place like Johns Hopkins will be a snap.
Go.
It will be strange. There will be a bazillion temptations, but if you are the type who can remain focused, it will be a life-changing experience for the better.
Regarding love interest at home…if it is real, it will last. They will understand that you are doing this because it is really important for the future. But you also have to be realistic. While you are away, you will meet other people, so will they.
I am probably older than your parents, but my advice is to go where your gut tells you to go, and let fate hand your the reward.
I didn’t leave the state for college, but last year I left home (which is in Hawaii) and moved to Washington state. I’m on my own for the first time, though I do have a roommate I’ve known for years and is also from Hawaii.
What made leaving home not suck was several things. First of all, I was excited about the move. I never really had any doubts about living here. I didn’t know a lot about the place, but I had confidence that no matter what, I’d never regret making the move. Second, once I got here and saw the different cities and neighborhoods, I found I liked what I saw. Though this state isn’t home, I like the things it has in common with home and its differences. And finally, there are enough reminders and touches of home that homesickness isn’t too big a problem. Having family here is helpful, as was having familiar sights, people, and objects around. I’d go back for a visit in a heartbeat, but it’s not like I wish every day that I was back home.
If you’re unsure what it’ll be like living away from home, do a little research. Not just into the school (though you’ll be spending the bulk of your time there) but into the neighborhoods surrounding the campus. What are they like? What is there to do on the weekends? Is there anything there that you have at home and would enjoy seeing/doing/partaking in there? What local attractions interest you? What stores/establishments would you prefer to not live without? Does that area have those places? The answers to those questions might help you make your decision.
As for actually getting used to being away from home, well, I do know that the trauma and novelty of it can wear off quickly. You get used to it as other distractions pop up and new environments and routines take the place of the old ones. It isn’t always fun or easy, but there never was any guarantee it would be. I think that’s part of what makes it exciting-- the risk that you won’t like it or be able to make it on your own.
I think having your family around to be your safety net will be the most helpful thing you’ll have. Knowing my parents’ home is still and will always be open to me should this “living on my own” thing not work out is comforting. Though I’m very much determined that I won’t ever move back home, knowing I have the option is comforting. If you have that, too, then I think you’ll be all right.
I hope you find the experience of leaving home to be a positive one.
Well, my advice would be to consider the cost of traveling to and from a campus on the opposite coast. Even if you make the trip only twice a year, that money adds up. Think hard about whether you’d rather have a summer in Europe or a tidy bundle of startup money when you’re job-hunting.
BTW, I went to college in-state, two and a half hours away from the town where I grew up, and I still felt like I was entering a different world. Those apron strings will be well and truly cut no matter what you decide to do.