You can avoid Hell, if you stick exclusively to your right hand.
The Bible doesn’t mention feet, so it doesn’t matter.
You know, I’m feeling some righteous indignation here, because I’m left handed, which you say leads to un-Christian behavior…
… oh, crap, I forgot. I’m a pagan. Never mind.
::runs away, trying to escape the torch-wielding mob::
Remember.
Love the sin, hate the sinner.
Oh, believe me, I love both my hands equally:-D
Preposterous. I’ll never serve with one of those left-handed types! What if a good right-handed soldier is firing his rifle when one of those lefty types drops down beside him and starts firing too? They could bump shoulders! It would be a disaster! And the whole time, the left-handed person wouldn’t be thinking about protecting his comrades. No! He’d be thinking about converting the right-handed soldier beside him to his vile ways!
How could a righty possibly do his patriotic duty knowing that all those lefties were leering at him like that?
Let those lefties in, and next thing you know, they’ll be trying to get me to salute with my left hand! Left-handedness is completely detrimental to the good order and discipline required in the US military. Anyone who says otherwise is a Communist, or worse, a Democrat.
GOSPEL UPDATE FROM WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH
**Lefty Whore ****Helen Keller **has been burning in Hell for 12,560 days
The licentious bastard child who lived her whole life in darkness is now reaping her reward for her sins. She can’t see the flames or hear the cries for mercy all around her, but she feels the flames licking at her ugly face. Her whore mother who defended her as “special” is burning along with her. Her whore mother was raped by Satan, and now they are both home with him. You’ll burn too if you don’t turn from your sinister sins. God hates lefties. DEAL WITH IT!!!
A lot of cultures do use the notions of the right and left hands as to meaning good and bad. This is often then linked to social standards and customs. You will find this in a lot of Asian cultures, for example, in Indonesia it is considered terribly rude to use your left hand for things like shaking hands, eating, etc, because the left hand is used for wiping your arse.
I’m left handed, but I’ve never used my left hand to wipe my arse.
I use toilet paper. 
It was bad enough when the Beatles came to this country, with that long-haired LSD addict Paul McCartney blatantly HOLDING HIS GUITAR BACKWARDS on the Ed Sullivan show, but now we have this:
If you are a Windows user, try this:
Go to Settings, then Control Panel, and click on Mouse. What do you see right there in front of you? AN OPTION TO SET YOUR MOUSE TO A LEFT-HANDED BUTTON CONFIGURATION! Do you know how many children use Windows and might accidentally see that and get the idea that it’s somehow JUST OK to switch the buttons on your mouse? Is this a deliberate attempt by Bill Gates to recruit our kids into this unnatural lifestyle?
I think most Christians don’t realize that Microsoft endorses “alternative lifestyles” in this way, or they wouldn’t buy their products. We need to demand that this “feature” be removed from future versions of Windows, or launch a boycott to send Microsoft the message that THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE TO NORMAL AMERICANS!
I realise that some people are completely blind to God’s truth on this matter, so let us now approach the issue from the perspective of logic:
Left != Right
Wrong != Right
[symbol][/symbol]Left = Wrong
Can it possibly be any clearer?
Now let us take a scientific viewpoint:
Less than 10% of the general human population chooses to be left-handed; IT IS NOT THEREFORE NORMAL:
nor·mal
adj.
1 Conforming with, adhering to, or constituting a norm, standard, pattern, level, or type; typical: normal room temperature; one’s normal weight; normal diplomatic relations.
2 Biology. Functioning or occurring in a natural way; lacking observable abnormalities or deficiencies.
…
5b Free from mental illness; sane.
Left-handed behaviour is abnormal; other words for abnormal are abberant and unnatural; Left handed behaviour is an abberration of nature; you don’t want that in your life.
Left-handedness is almost unheard of in animals, particularly invertebrates.
In any case, people will no doubt cite examples of left-handed chimpanzees and whatnot, but let me ask you; can you be certain that this deviant behaviour was not triggered by the stress of coping with human contact? Can you be sure that it isn’t just imprinted behaviour picked up from a left-handed researcher (or indeed experimental bias delibertately and maliciously introduced by such and individual).
Clearly we cannot trust statistics relating to left-handed behaviour in animals where there has been human contact.
Has left-handedness EVER been observed and recorded in a population of animals as yet untouched and undiscovered by humans? - NO!
The facts speak for themselves.
If God didn’t care about handedness, would He have made all of our amino acids with the same chirality? HMMMMM???
Don’t believe the lies that geneticists tell you; these people probably believe in evolution or some such.
But I heard that our earliest ancestors were left-handed and we right-handed people evolved from them. Not only are left-handed people deviants, they are also more primative.
Kal - Who finds Mangetout funny and all, but in a scary way.
It is commonly reported by manicured men who non-surgically restore their nails that their fingers lengthen by an inch on average. This is thought to occur because their manicures were so tight that their fingers couldn’t fully extend when erect. The new nail that is created allows for the full extension that nature intended.
Also, it is commonly reported by these same men that the circumference of their fingers increases by about an inch (no one has really come up with any obvious reason why this would be so, though).
Kal - Possessed by a departed poster.
Kal, you’re a very frightening person;)
And I am typing this with both hands…
Anyway, please would everyone who doesn’t agree with me just stop arguing with my deeply-held personal beliefs - it’s very insulting to be treated like this.
“A lot of cultures?!” How about OURS!
“Sinister” is Latin for “left”.
“Mr. Wensleydale, please use the word in a sentence.”
“Yes, Miss Wormhole: ‘The sinister plot was foiled by fine upstanding Boy Scouts’”.
“Dexter” is Latin for “right”. This is the root of the word “dextrous”.
“With dextrous hands he tied the knot”. Implying skill, ability, correctness(?).
'Nuff said. Thank you, Friedrich N.
Mangetout pouted:
We’re NOT TREATING YOU BAD, you ignorant slut! I’ve seen your kind a bazillion times on the Internet. Deeply held, my ass. Your beliefs are stupid. And you suck. Just because you think we’re insulting you doesn’t mean we are. Asshole.
Dear Mangetout,
I am left-handed.
So is my wife.
And so are both my children.
And you are powerless to stop me! Powerless!
Bwahahahahaha!
Ahem.
Corruption breeds corruption. You will be tossed into the fiery pit for your evil ways (remember, it’s not a sin to be tempted to use your left hand, but it is most certainly sinful to use it).
Why do you persist in these wicked ways? Can’t you just write with your right hand, as the Lord commands? How hard can it be?
And please don’t give me any rubbish about it being as hard for you to choose to be right-handed as it would be for me to choose to be left-handed - it isn’t the same - as has been said over and over in this thread, everyone is born right-handed - some people simply choose arbitrarily to turn against it, even though they may manage to convince themselves utterly that they were born Left-handed.
Aversion therapy is remarkably successful in 63% of cases; in a study of 368 left-handed people undergoing therapy, 232 of them were, after treatment, permanently turned into cowering, insecure, disfunctional wrecks who could not hold a pen in their left hand without much guilt, fear, anxiety and vomiting - moreover nearly all of them were discharged with the ability to quite easily form large clumsy block capitals with the pen in their right hands.