Well, that in itself is probably enough to drive people to left-handedness, if it’s a choice. Wouldn’t you rather be “sinister” than “Dexter”? 
Oh come now, what’s the good of having an evil tendency if I’m not allowed to wallow in it once in a while?
It’s my understanding that most cats are left-pawed. However, they are agents of the devil.
Won’t somebody please think of the chilllllllllllllllldren…
Because of your evil tendency, you will be allowed to wallow in the fiery pits of Hell for all eternity.
Oh, you poor misguided creatures. You do not understand. Consider:
Scissors will never cut for us.
Dialing a standard phone will always be awkward for us.
Ink will always smudge for us.
We, the humble left-handers, are already in hell.
And rightly so.
I’m a leftie
I’m here
Get used to it!
I’m a leftie
I’m here
Get used to it!
I’m a leftie
I’m here
Get used to it!
I’m a leftie
I’m here
Get used to it!
I’m a leftie
I’m here
Get used to it!
I’m a leftie
I’m here
Get used to it!
I’m a leftie
I’m here
Get used to it!
I’m a leftie
I’m here
Get used to it!
Burn in Hell
You’re going there
Get used to it!
Burn in Hell
You’re going there
Get used to it!
Burn in Hell
You’re going there
Get used to it!
Repeat until bored to tears.
I probably ought to expand on this a little as it could give the impression that the therapy is less than effective; the full results of the therapy are as follows:
232 (~63%) individuals are now able to feel genuine disgust regarding their disgusting desire to be left-handed.
76 (~21%) were too stubborn to accept the obvious easy path to change and actually willed themselves to death rather than accepting the ‘right’ path and thus permitting the electrodes to be removed.*
33 (~9%) have not yet shown any sign of regaining their motor skills following the neurosurgery.*
18 (~5%) attempted to discharge themselves from the program and as a result, were declared clinically insane; they are awaiting the advanced form of therapy at a secure unit.
5 (~1%) did not respond properly to the medication; and although there are indications that brain stem death has not actually occurred, they are unlikely to regain consciousness.*
4 (~1%) escaped the treatment centre, but have not yet returned home to be captured by their families for readmission.
*It is important to note that after treatment, these individuals have also not shown any sign of desire to use their left hands and therefore the true rate of cure is somewhere around the 94% mark.
So you see, change is not only possible, it is quite easy to achieve, under the correct circumstances.
Is it true that Mike Piazza’s lefty?
I don’t care who’s left-handed, as long as they don’t try to push it off on ME! My husband’s not left-handed, either, but believe me, any time he sees two left-handed females writing notes to each other. . .gets him all hot and bothered! 
[channelling His4Ever badly]
You people think you’re funny but what you say doesn’t matter. The bible says homosexuality is wrong. It doesn’t say that left handedness is wrong. So how is this thread relevant?
[/channelling His4Ever badly]
I have thought long and hard but I think I have finally thought of a proper response.
Hehehehehehehehehehehe…
You guys are great.
But very silly.
But, but, but…
What about all the people in less enlightened parts of the World who are born, grow up, live their lives, and die in cultures which allow, condone, accept, or even bless this abomination?
Should I hate or pity them?
What happens to them when they die? Do they go to some Catholic thing like “Purgatory”, “Limbo”, or “404 Page Not Found”?
What of children anywhere who show some Leftist tendencies early on but die before they learn to write?
Please! O Mangy One, show me the light!!!
Why would anyone choose this?
None of this matters as long as you yourself are OK; just try not to associate with people of left-handed orientation; for one thing it may rub off on you and for another ostracising them encourages them to change.
For all you poor, misguided, sinister souls out there, can’t you see you’re missing the point? Why, look at the title of the first book by the prophet Timothy LaHaye: Left Behind! No rapture for you perverts! 
CJ
: Ducking and running for the hills! :
I think we’re almost done here, but a few more points in a communication I received by email (some of which have been touched on already):
The word left is derived from an Old English that means weak or worthless
The Italian word mancino means deceitful but also means left
No ser zurdo in Spanish means to be very clever, but can be literally translated as not to be left-handed
The English word adroit is commonly used to mean proper or correct.
The French word adroit means right.
The English word gauche means clumsy, or awkward
In French, it means left.
The word dexterity derives from the Roman dexter, which in turn means right.
The Roman word for left is sinister, and the phrase meaning masturbation translates literally as left-handed whore.
Linkisch has two meanings in German:awkward and left