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The right against unreasonable searches and seizures is about what other people aren’t allowed to do to you by the law. It’s not about what kind of extra-judicial retaliation you can take against them. And someone breaking into your house is not conducting a search or seizure, whether reasonable or not. Your recourse against violations of your constitutional rights is through the courts, not through potentially deadly traps.
We can always throw out this old legal gem:
Prima facie tort.
Practice point: The elements are: (1) the intentional infliction of harm, (2) which results in special damages, (3) without any excuse or justification, (4) by an act or series of acts which would otherwise be lawful.
Student note: The claim does not lie where defendant’s action has any motive other than a desire to injure the plaintiff.
Case: Smith v. Meridian Tech, Inc., NY Slip Op 05954 (2d Dept. 2011).
When I was a teen I worked at a retail store and I had a regular customer that I knew fairly well. One day I opened the paper to find his picture on the front page–he had killed his father and brother. He made them moonshine for Christmas, and stole some jars from under his neighbor’s porch to store it. The neighbor was a photographer and had stored darkroom supplies in the jars.
I think he got some time, but it couldn’t have been very much because he came back into the store again less than a year later.
Against the law, in any state I would surmise;
Correct, at least, it was in Michigan some years ago. Someone my parents knew had booby-trapped a vacant house with a shotgun, after repeated vandalism. The booby trap worked, the vandal was crippled, the owners were sued, and lost everything they had.
I’m curious about (3). There certainly is an excuse or justification, but evidently it’s not sufficient.
I read just recently an SD column stating that things we eat can change pigmentation. We all know it’s true with lots of carotene. The column was about pink flamingos, who are white unless they eat shrimp.
I wonder if there’s a safe chemical one could add to the food that would cause an obvious pigment change? I suppose that would only work for fairer-skinned culprits, though. But I doubt there would be much of a claim, for a temporary color change: it’s not like bodily harm.
Maybe the laxative is the way to go.
In any case, I suspect the note linked to the OP was a bluff or a joke. Anyone who had actually done that wouldn’t need to say anything, since the culprit would fail the drug screen. Furthermore, it’s probably not wise to advertise that you’ve been bringing illegal drugs to work. Plenty of other reasons why the note, if legit, would have been a very bad idea.
But then, there are a lot of stupid people, so it’s possible!
I had someone stealing my sodas at work. On some of the cans I wrote Stolen and other similar sayings on the bottom with the hopes that they drank it in front of other people, tilted the can back, and Bam! Caught!
The cans were eventually taken, but alas, I received no follow up. Maybe it worked, maybe it didn’t.
So when are law abiding citizens going to be allowed to take back the streets?
If I leave my bicycle unlocked in a bad neighborhood and a thief takes it and falls off an breaks his arm, am I on the hook for that too?
Ridiculous.
Sprinkle fine granules of peanuts, if the person is allergic.
The person could die.
Ditto you can claim you had no idea.
Wouldn’t you win this? The food-stealer is obviously negligent of self-care.
If I die from diabetic shock, can my family sue the candy store where I pigged out? No (right?).
How is that “intentionally creating a likelihood of harm”?
Booby trapping your bike is generally not legal. But just leaving it lying around is not creating a booby trap.
You can claim it, but that’s just another way of trying to get away with a crime, with the caveat you knew the food thief was allergic to peanuts and deliberately set out to poison the thief.
You might happen to get away with it, but it doesn’t make it legal.
I can only say that whatever your original story is - stick to it. Later admitting that, “Yes, I slathered “Screaming Sphincter Cayenne Pepper Sauce” on my baloney sandwich to cause pain and discomfort to the dirtbag who was stealing my lunch”, is going to get you into trouble.
As I spend more time thinking about this, putting one drop of Professor Phardtpounders Colon Cleaner hot sauce at each corner of my sandwich is sure to make things unpleasant for a lunch thief BUT I’ll need to remember to remove the corners before I eat the sandwich or bring a snowcone to sit on. 
With raw garlic and habanero spread.
Hide a small disclosing tablet in the food. It temporarily colors teeth bright pink.
Ah but retribution is sweet.
Back in the dark ages (the mid '70s), I had a friend from church who went to a different high school than me. He told me that three of his friends who worked at a supermarket all had their bikes stolen from behind the store. They were dumbasses for not locking up their bikes but that happens. My friend being a protective of his friends" type, took his own bike down there, and popped the chain, and hid behind a dumpster along with the three friends waiting. Sure enough after about an hour two “youths” road up on a bike. One guy hopped off and strolls over to the unattended bike and jumps on. Cue my friend jumping out from behind the dumpster and cursing at him. The thief gave him the finger and jumped on the pedals which promptly got him nowhere. Thief’s friend bikes off at warp speed leaving the other guy high and dry. The four beat the living shit out of the bike thief. I asked my friend if his friends got their bikes back. He just looked at me and said, “Are you fucking kidding me? No. But now they don’t care so much about loosing them”.
The good old days of street justice.
Instead of poisoning the food, build a light-sensitive alarm. Put it in an opaque tupperware container and it will go off when they open it.
Or, buy a commonly available motion-sensitive alarm and rig it the same way, except bind it down inside the tupperware so it stays in a fixed location. You don’t want it going off if it slides around. Then when they open it, the alarm will go off.
Or, buy a panic alarm that has a pull string to activate it. Rig it up somehow so when they open the tupperware the alarm goes off.
Or, buy a cooler with a zipper and a small lock. Lock the zipper to something on the cooler so it can’t open. For extra protection lock it all to the fridge so it can’t be removed.
Or, don’t use the common fridge at all. Get a cooler in your office and use the company freezer to freeze an ice pack. Leave your lunch in your office cooler and toss in the ice pack to keep it cool.
I doubt people with peanut allergies make a habit of stealing random food.
At least, not old ones.
The weird thing is how extremely common this problem is at employers.
What kind of personality deficit does it take to steal somebody else lunch?
I can’t imagine so; there’s no way that a clearly labeled sandwich in the work fridge would be an attractive nuisance, which would probably be the concept that you’re thinking of. However, if you left brownies on the break room table with no labeling, then yes, people would be expected to eat them.
So with that said, I’d think if you dosed your sandwich with some sort of absurdly hot pepper sauce, you could legitimately claim that you intended to eat it and that’s why you labeled it as your own.
I mean, how’s that going to play out? "Well, the sandwich was labeled “BluePitBull’s Lunch Hands Off! Extra spicy!”, but I stole it, ate it, and am now suing because it was too hot for me and I swooned and hit my head, and I want restitution!’
I don’t know if giving away pot brownies is any kind of deterrent.