The quick facts…7th grade girls volleyball, private school, 8 girls on the team.
This has to do with my daughter’s playing time. She is very athletic but only has pedestrian volleyball skills.
6 girls rotate on the court. There are two subs available on the bench at all times.
My daughter seldom gets rotated in. In fact, last night because one of the girls twisted an ankle earlier in the day they slid a player over from the b team as the 8th player and SHE got more playing time than my girl.
This is not a very competitive team mind you. You won’t see any scouts at the games iow. They lose more than they win by a large margin.
My daughter has been to most practices (cross country event conflicted with a practice once) and is a good student and good sport.
What calm and rational things could I say to the coach that won’t offend her (the coach is also a teacher) yet will get the point across that I believe she is mishandling the way she roatates players during games?
I was embarrassed last night when another parent asked me why my daughter is being skipped in the rotation. Did she miss practice. …bad grades? Nope. I had no answer. Now I’m confused and a little upset. So I need some help from you guys.
The question I’d want to know is what your daughter’s doing as an A team substitute, if they’re subbing in B team players ahead of her in the rotation? The implication of having an A and a B team is that the 8 best players are the A team, and the rest are the B team, so that even the A team subs should be better than the B team starters.
It sounds like maybe her coach did something peculiar like put the 6 best girls as the A team starters, then put the next best girls on the B team for some reason.
However, before you get too worked up, what sport is your daughter most interested in? She may not really care that she’s not getting a lot of playing time, if cross-country is “her sport”. I know I was that way about shotput/discus; it was something I did in the football off season to stay in shape and to get another letter in, not something I was seriously competitive in.
Why don’t you pose the same question to the coach? If she doesn’t have a good explanation, then ask how your daughter can get more playing time, moving to the B team possibly?
If you must address the coach (as opposed to your daughter asking) there is only one way to correctly handle it -politely ask what skills your daughter needs to improve in order to play more and what you can do to help her get there. Beyond that, nothing. It’s a school team, not a rec league, so I’m assuming there is no minimum participation rule. If there is a minimum participation rule and your daughter is not getting to play the rule allotted time, that’s a different story.
Bolding mine
Here may be the real issue. Was your daughter embarrassed, confused or upset? If not, back off. It’s not about you. If she was any of the above, she should let her coach know and ask what she can do to gain additional playing time.
I really don’t mean for the above to sound overly harsh, but as a coach I see far too often that the parent gets much more upset than the child. The kids are there to have fun, get exercise, learn the game, and improve their skills - in that order. Learning some life lessons along the way is the real bonus.
Thanks guys…the following has been sent. Names changed blah blah…
(Sent before Doctor Jackson’s post was read by me)
Good morning Teacher/coach.
This quick note is in regards to Gwen.
It seems as though she’s not receiving as much playing time compared to other girls of comparable skill level. I realise that she’s not an ace on the team, but she does try and wants to have fun out there like the rest of the girls.
What are your criteria in regards to playing time? Knowing that can help us work with Gwen if she’s deficient in some areas. I would hope that skill alone isn’t a major factor at this level.
Please advise so we can help both you and Gwen in the future.
Learning to talk to the coach herself is more important that her volleyball game minutes. If she wants to play more, she should approach the coach and ask what she can do to make that happen. You can help her by discussing what to say and playing the part of the coach for her to rehearse with, but the rest should be up to her.
Personally, I believe that all kids should get equal play time in a non-competitive league, but the existence of a B team implies that this is NOT non-competitive play and that the coach is not playing your daughter because he is trying to coach the team to victory and feels that your daughter’s skills are not going to enhance the score. Sure, the coach may be wrong or short-sighted not to put her in when possible to develop her as a player, and maybe school sports teams being competitive in this manner is wrong in and of itself, but when you choose to play in any sort of league, you are subject to and should be familiar with its rules and policies. Is the coach violating these, or are you trying to get an exception made for your daughter?
Seems the note has already been sent, but I would absolutely have advocated encouraging your daughter to ask the coach herself how to improve her game and get more playing time. Maybe your daughter’s coach is a great, understanding person and will respond in kind, but trust me when I tell you that every school sports coach in America rolls their eyes at a note from a parent.
It’s not too late to send a follow-up note saying you’ve given it more thought and realize that you’ve taken the wrong tack and that the kid should be handling this herself.