TS could last for literally decades --she has a young heart. I am amazed that pneumonia hasn’t carried her off yet.
That neurologist hasn’t examined TS, has he? How do these people make these diagnoses based on a video and one CT scan?
As for the nurse…the whole thing sounds fishy. Speaking of yanking licenses…
I think that the Schindler’s have made Terri their focus and their way of coping with life. I ahve seen this a couple of times with families. Grandma has had multiple strokes, doesn’t speak, totally dependent, no awareness, etc. But the family enters into a delusional state. They talk to Grandma and confabulate answers; they put the call light on and tell me that Gma is asking for this or that. I do a reality check and say that Gma cannot ask for this or that, but I would be happy to do this or that for her. They become hostile to me and the other staff who will not collude with them…it’s a pattern. We don’t understand her, we don’t care about her, we are too busy to notice the subtlies that indicate that Gram is really OK etc.
When Grandma finally does die–these people literally fall apart. It’s like they’ve used Gma as a crutch–put their entire lives on hold to take care of this woman and when she is gone–their coping mechanism is gone.
IMO, the Schindler’s need therapy and at the very minimum, grief counselling.
Is anyone else trying to imagine this funderal? How can these people come together and finally grieve for Terri? If I were MS, I would fear for my life at the funeral.
msRobyn and tinkertoy --I am so sorry for your losses.
No parent should have to bury a child.
In your shoes, I would have done the same–it would kill me, but it is what is best for the child, under those circumstances.
fessie, right how your twins are tiny, precious little angels who you’d do anything to protect, or so I gather, and that, in my book, is a very good thing and the way things should be in an ideal world.
The problem is, Terry Schiavo didn’t live in an ideal world. From what I read in today’s paper, she became anorexic when she was a teenager and it was untreated bulimia which fouled up her body chemistry to the point where her heart stopped leaving her in her current condition. Some adults do love their parents dearly, trust them and respect them; others don’t and some have good reasons for it. I get on well with my parents now and love them dearly, but I had problems with them in my teens and twenties and I would not have wanted them to be my guardians. Even though we agree with each other in Ms. Shiavo’s case, they don’t know me better than my closest friends do and, just as important, I’m not sure I want to put the burden of deciding what measures to use on them.
Terry Schiavo has had a flat EKG for years. Her cerebral cortex is destroyed and she cannot swallow on her own. Something I hadn’t realized until yesterday is that her feeding tube is connected directly to her stomach, not inserted down her throat like I’d thought. She told her husband and others what she wanted. She effectively died trying to control her life, yet still her parents are trying to control it. I love my parents, but if they tried a stunt like that, I would hate them for it.
No one wants to think about someone they love dying. No parent worthy of the name wants to consider their child’s death. There’s no brain activity, no mind, no anything but a body kept alive because her parents can’t face this. I am deeply sorry for them. I’m also deeply furious with them for letting their own, selfish desires keep them from facing reality. God’s will? If it were God’s will, Ms. Schiavo would be able to swallow. Instead, she’s kept alive in circumstances worse than a goose being force-fed to produce foie gras, although at least she has less brain activity than the goose.
I am sorry, but for the love of all that’s holy, especially the human soul, let her go!
I’m with Rilchiam. Thank you for pointing out my mistake on EKG vs. EEG and for telling me about (checks abbreviation) PEGS. Your posts in these threads have helped me understand a lot more about what’s going on.
I’m absolutely with the previous two posters. The Hague aside , you have been a font of valuable information in these (one, two, three, four) four threads. It’s much appreciated.
Gah, I just realize I made a colossal mistake - my post above should read that the Schindler family is living under a powerful delusion. I should not post until fully awake. :smack:
eleanorigby, your input is very much appreciated. It’s good to have a “walking educational brochure” around to explain the details we might not hear about in the news.
You mean to tell me that after a bazillion diaper changes and feedings and baths; after being thrown up on, pooped on, and not getting a decent night’s sleep in the past 14 months; after helping them with their first words and first steps, not to mention carrying these sweet darlings in my body for 38 weeks 5 days – one day I’m just supposed to sit quietly on the sidelines? But if they fall on their faces as adults, then I’m to welcome them back home with open arms, with no strings attached?
It’s a wonder anyone signs up for this job.
OTOH, the arguments for the Schindlers’ having lost their grasp are pretty compelling. I’m glad I raised my objections, even if they were roundly defeated. I still feel sorry for those poor people.
This whole situation has been an amazing learning experience for all of us, I imagine. Personally I had no idea that people with brain damage opened their eyes and moved around. eleanorigby thanks for the education.
MsRobyn and tinkertoy, my condolences on your losses.
I have no problem with the Schindler’s moral belief that their daughter should live or in stating that. I do have a problem with their endless lies (esp. from her father regarding all these interactions he has with her, “she smiled,” “she made a face,” etc.) and shameless exploitation of the legislative and judicial system. They refuse to understand or accept any ruling that doesn’t go their way.
The dissenting appelate judge should be fired. He fully admits that he’s not basing his decision on the law or on his own responsibility to follow the law, but he “doesn’t see the harm,” in prolonging this case so that it can be “fully heard,” (does he even read the newspapers?) Judges are not supposed to rule based on whether or not they “see the harm” in willfully making the wrong decision from a legal standpoint.
And yes, one day you should sit back quietly on the sidelines and let your children live their lives. What else have you raised them to do? If you insist on being as involved in their lives as adults as you (of course must be) when they are infants, how on Earth are they ever going to manage when you are gone?
Yes. That’s the pain and joy of being a parent. You have the awesome responsibility of raising another human being to be a functioning, contributing member of society. If you do your job right, one day they’ll be on their own.
As my dad said, “First you give them roots, then you give them wings.”
Parenting is all about pain. The first day of school, as they go skipping away from you, swinging their lunchbox. The first day they ride their bike without training wheels. The day you look at your son and realize you have to look UP instead of DOWN. The day your daughter comes running to you, screaming that she started her period.
But with the pain comes the pride. And, if you’re a good parent, your children will marry good people and you’ll get to spoil the grandchildren.
Enjoy this. Time really flies when you’re a parent.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have something in my eye.
cricetus: * have no problem with the Schindler’s moral belief that their daughter should live or in stating that. I do have a problem with their endless lies (esp. from her father regarding all these interactions he has with her, “she smiled,” “she made a face,” etc.)*
As eleanorigby noted, though, sometimes family members who do this sort of thing are not lying, just delusional. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if the Schindlers have really convinced themselves that their daughter is aware and able to respond to them.
Heck, when I was a little kid, I was able to convince myself that my stuffed animals were conscious and trying to interact with me, and I didn’t have anywhere near the emotional investment in them that these parents do in their daughter. And of course, their daughter used to be conscious and responsive in a way that my toys never actually were.
That’s exactly how it works, except that there is absolutely nothing requiring you to ‘welcome them back home with open arms’ if they, as adults, fall flat on their faces. That’s a choice you have, to help them if they ask you for it. But every parent has agreed by having children to do their level best by the child, and to exert the effort into raising them, until they are adults and leave the nest to begin their own lives. Part of being a parent, as was hard for mine to realize, is that you spend many years helping them to grow wings because one day, they will use them.
I believe the mark of success of a parent is to one day step aside and realize that they have brought up an independent, self-sustaining adult.
No, no, please don’t! You along with others such as DoctorJ have done us all a huge service in explaining the medical side clearly. In fact, may I have your permission to quote things that you’ve explained here on another message board? With due attribution, of course.
, you have been a font of valuable information in these (one, two, three, four) four threads. It’s much appreciated.