Let’s compare tax returns, or
This has got to be a joke, but I’m missing the punchline, or
Americans must only put up with this because they think the rest of the world does.
As many of you know, I recently moved to the USA, and since it’s March, I decided to go pick up my tax forms. This proved much harder than I thought it would be based on my experiences in my home and native land. Let’s compare, shall we?
Acquiring a Tax Return
In Canada: You go to the post office to pick up one booklet, about the size of Time magazine, that contains absolutely everything needed to do your taxes. All your schedules, including spares of every form in case you make mistakes, and all the instructions. Depending on your province, you may need a second booklet, which will be thinner. If you’re really lucky, and have filled out taxes before, and haven’t moved lately, you can fill out the short form, which has just 34 pages of insructions, about half of which you can ignore because it includes proper instructions on filling out your name on your return. You’ll only get this if the government mails it to you.
In the U.S.: Go to a post office, but end up being told the forms are at the nearest library. Go to the library, and stand stunned as you look at 50 loose forms, schedules, and booklets. Ask attendant if there is one booklet with everything included, and they look at you like you’re from Mars. Pick up two of everything, because you don’t know if you are a resident of New York state, because even though you live here, you’ve got a little card saying you’re a non-resident. Note ironically that every schedule is printed with a line saying “For Disclosure, Privacy Act, and Paperwork Reduction Act Notice, see page xx.”
The Length Of Your Tax Return
In Canada: it’s an 11”x17” sheet, folded over once. Totals 4 pages. You might have some more schedules, but most of those you leave at home.
In The U.S.: One 8.5” x11” sheet, both sides. But you have to figure out if you need the 1040, the 1040A, the 1040X, the 1040EZ, the 1040NR, etc…
Filling Out a Tax Return
In Canada: filling out your taxes takes 3, maybe 4 hours. Longer if you have an excessively complicated status (say, you’re a self-employed farmer whose mother died and you inherited her stocks, and you’re left taking care of your brain-damaged nephew who’s half-native). But if all you have is income, scholarships, RRSP contributions, dividends, medical expenses, and charitable donations, most of the time you’re just doing math to see if you should claim your credits this year, or hang on to them for up to 5 years.
In The U.S.: Haven’t done this yet, but it does not look pretty. I had to read until p.15 to see which return I have to file, and I’m getting referred to pub.519. By going back to page 10, I see that I can get pub. 519 from the IRS website, because it wasn’t in the massive pile of forms, schedules, and booklets at the library.
Sending In Your Tax Return
In Canada: mail it in the enclosed envelope, or call it in, or e-file. Make sure it’s postdated by midnight, April 30th.
In The U.S.: Buy your own damn envelope and file by April 15th, or call it in, or e-file.