On the next episode of *Scrapin’ By *–A lesbian pregnant by rape comes out of the clinic and announces she is planning to have the child and raise it with her long time partner. The anti-abortion people immediately state “Oh, no, after you have the baby you should give it to a real family.” She replies “What are we, polyester?”
Her lover comes out and says “Hi, Polly.” Pregnant-by-rape lesbian says “Hi, Esther” and kisses her. Cue Fran Drescher laughter.
You know, I wonder if Garofalo, Warfield, or Turner (or one of their entourages) has run across this thread while vanity searching…
Y’know, with this one addition, even Downton Abbey would be the ‘worst TV show possible’…
Ok by me. Your show opens the second season!
(You are familiar with the joke and film, right?)
Then, just as Just Scrapin’ By is hitting the airwaves, a new drug called “scrape” appears on the streets. A dozen times a day, you’ll have to hear the “Just Buyin’ Scrape” joke, followed by the expectant pause of someone who thinks it’s just as clever the 62nd time as it is the first. The show, needless to say, picks up on this, and there’s soon a wave of T-shirts, baseball caps, and all manner of tiresome kitsch sporting the same gag.
Everybody loves self-references in shows, right? Expect an episode where all the characters are sporting that merchandise.
You guys are scary good at this.
Who, us? [turns toward camera]
We’re just…[beat] Scraping the Bottom of the Barrel"! [pause for laugh track]
[get shoved and backslapped by rest of cast as credits roll]
Several dopers have Bulwer-Lytton wins under our belts - of course we’re good at this 
As one of the pagaent moms, or one of the contestants?
A sassy cheerleader from Yale assumes the Presidency of the United States - hilarity ensues …
We’ll need to know her position on abortion so we can write the cross-over episode with “Just Scrapin’ By”
Whoosh. It would be a reality TV series. Set in the recent past.
‘80’s muppety puppet, Alf, reprises the role of Different Strokes’ character, Willis Jackson. He plays against a digitally re-created avatar of Gary Coleman. At the dramatic climax of each episode, always completely disjointed from the main storyline, the duo walks on scene; camera tight shot on Alf-Willis, who says something of a mildly perplexing nature; cut to Gary, who responds with an exaggerated facial double-take, then retorts, *“whatchoo talkin’ bout, Willis." * The duo then walks off camera, as the laugh track decrescendos and the interrupted main scene commences unabated as though nothing happened.
And, it goes without saying, we must cast John Goodman and Roseanne Barr as Stanley and Stella, who recreate variations of this scene…sometimes nude, with barely out-of-focus genital pixilation.
Or a monkey! :eek:
Hate them things…
As we speak, I am working on the script for the cross-over episode with The Brady Bunch. I originally wanted to go with Gilligan’s Island, but there are too few cast members still surviving. For the Gilligan’s Island thing, I was thinking we could go with an episode where Garofalo accidentally suffers a head injury and (while in a coma) dreams a whole episode with the JSB cast in The Gilligan’s Island roles. Garofalo is Gilligan, Marcia Warfield is The Skipper, etc. The hook will be that they have to perform a third-trimester abortion using only coconut shell tech! This one will be a ratings smash…nostalgia and smart, edgey comedy!
The twist is that it’s “Lovey” that’s pregnant, and Thurston got snipped years ago :eek:
Exactly! Lovey needs to terminate the pregnancy so Thurston doesn’t find out. She concealed it for the first six months, but the “eating too many of MaryAnne’s coconut creme pies” excuse is wearing thin. Garofalo/Gilligan and Warfied/Skipper happen upon her as she is trying not to go into labor and decide they just have to help her out! I’m telling you, nothing spells “Emmy” like coconut shell tech partial birth abortion!!!11! For extra edginess, we can have Lovey and Thurston portrayed by JSB actors who normally portray siblings or a parent and child. The real father will, of course, be Butch (cue Fran Drescher laughter).
Immediately following “Just Scrapin’ by”, stay tuned for “the Real Survivor Big Brother House… In Space”
We put the following entities in a house and set back to watch the fireworks;
A Klingon
A Vulcan
A Romulan
A Betazoid
A Borg
A Dalek
A Sontaran
A Cyberman (Mondas)
A Cyberman (Cybusman)
A Slytheen
Marvin the Paranoid Android
Robot from Lost in Space
A Vogon
A Pakled
A Tavloid (Tavlek)
A Weighted Companion Cube
And the house is guarded by a gauntlet of Ravenous Bugblatter Beasts to prevent escape
The house supervisor/overseer is GlaDOS…
How will the disparate entities interact, will the Mondas Cyberman sue the Borg for patent infringement, will the betazed annoy everyone with psychoanalistic twaddle? Will the Klingon beat everyone up, will there be cake? Or will GlaDOS have to break out the Deadly Neurotoxins?
Stay tuned, for TRSBBH In Space! And find out
