Let's do this criminal thing "out in the desert"

And it didn’t work.

But you make one post about growing leafy plants and you get shut down… :slight_smile:

Sure, maybe the Doper community could come up with examples of other dicey things that people may seek to do in out-of-the-way places that are not necessarily disposing of human bodies. But that would increase the claim of plausibility…

But they are not pigs.

Having access to a restaurant kitchen does help. This chef in my neck of the woods boiled his wife’s body for 4 days, poured the sludge down the grease trap and threw the bones in the dumpster. Her body was never found.

Oy vey.

Don’t order the pork.

I wonder if any restaurant customers were feeling worried…

I would be leery of the sausage. The hamburger, even. Put enough barbecue sauce on the burger and the diner will never notice the long pig in there.

That is why you make them dig.

. . . assuming they are:
a) still alive,
b) able to wield a shovel or pickaxe,
c) you have the time to supervise,
d) you are more heavily armed than a prisoner wielding a shovel or pickaxe.

. . . lest the prior victim be digging thine own grave after ‘bonkage’ with the aforementioned implements.

Considering that decaying bodies typically smell quite badly, I strongly question whether that’s the “best” way.


In the case of your link, the smell was blamed on a sausage factory next door. The bodies weren’t discovered until one of the killer’s victims escaped and police arrived with an arrest warrant for rape.

The story’s even worse now in these days of ADS-B and the eventual deprecation of most radar. Now everything is recorded, not just by the FAA, but by guys like me who set up ADS-B receivers and share data to the various public aggregators.

If you fly out of an uncontrolled field and you never turn on ADS-B or your transponder, does anybody notice? Way back when I was flying a little bit, military radar could get a return, but ATC didn’t see much of anything that wasn’t transponder-enhanced.

How many bodies can you get in an ultralight?

At least one. Just don’t kill them first…and teach them to fly.

Meh, not necessarily. I have an attached garage & only one neighbor between me & the end of my street/development with a cam. He bitches about how it’s doesn’t work more than it does so there may not be any footage of me leaving. At the main road I could go left or right. Even if I wanted to go left, I could go right & around the block. Any investigator looking at surveillance footage to the left wouldn’t see anything, & remember they don’t know the time or even day I (allegedly) left. Living in the city there’d probably be more camera but further out in rural areas there’d be even less.
There probably aren’t camera where you’re getting out of your car.

George Santayana said, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”
Let’s see what we can learn from the past.

The recent past - three months ago today.

  • Don’t post pics/video of your crimes to social media
  • Don’t tell anyone, especially your ex about your crimes, double especially if you’re going to insult them while confessing. (Who’s the"moron"?)
  • Don’t take your cell phone w/ you as it’ll show where you went & the route you took to get there based upon cell tower pings.
  • A large cooler, maybe weighed down with ice to keep your hoped for catch fresh wouldn’t be that suspicious to take out on a boat. Just remember, that they’re frequently made of foam, which floats. Shooting a couple of holes into it isn’t going to sink it. Something Tommy didn’t take into account.

  • Finally, unless you’re a professional, the body you’re trying to get rid of is somehow connected to you, a spouse, a lover, an ex, a boss, annoying cow-orker, or a friend or neighbor. The first couple you’re definitely going to be a person of interest to be cleared The police can charge you…& your lover…& your lawyer with murder & related crimes even w/o a body. IOW, successfully getting rid of the body is only part of the equation.

Yeah - This is the real problem with body disposal. They don’t need to find any body other than yours. And you won’t be hard to find unless you’re already hard to find or take it on the lam.

Said another way, in the case of a murder or disappeared person, the old police trope “round up the usual suspects” is truly applicable. But they don’t mean their favorite list of local mopes.

They mean the deceased’s friends, lovers, ex-s, estranged family members, neighbors, and co-workers. Damn good bet the killer is in that usual list someplace.

The very occasional @Stranger_On_A_Train notwithstanding. :wink:

Something about this thread reminds me of a Brian Eno/John Cale song. I like Eno and Eno/Cale, but this is far from their best work.