Duplicate post.
Read the OP; s/he is asking for superficial conclusions.
That would be overkill.
Buick LeSabre: I’m an old fart who snowbirds in Florida.
Cadillac Escalade: I’m a pro athlete, or more likely a wannabe, who bought this thing because all the guys I play with / wish I were like do it.
Only if you get it with the “golf club dents” package, with the crystallized windows option.
Van drivers are either rapist, serial killers, have lots of equipment or are plain too cheap to spring for a motel room.
BMW 320i- Never mind that my car is missing features found on the average rental car, it’s still a Bimmer! Who needs heated, power seats or a sunroof or even a folding back seat (it was $475 extra and I already spent over $34k). And so what if the upholstery is actually ‘leather-ette’ (vinyl) and not the real thing….it’s a Bimmer, dammit!
The same applies to the Mercedes-Benz CLA250…poseur D-bag!
Mercury Grand Marquis - I love watching people slam on the brakes when they think it’s a cop car.
Porsche - I’m a yuppie with too much money who doesn’t really know how to drive this thing and is going to wrap it around a tree on the way to the sports car owners’ rally.
Kia Spectra - I just don’t give a shit anymore. Please kill me.
Chevy pick up with over sized tires…I have a small one and need a ladder to get in my truck.
Chevy dually pick up with over sized tires…I need this to drive the kids to school and grocewy shop.
Range Rover - I’m a rich, neurotic suburban housewife, who’s banging the tennis pro at the club because I never see my workaholic husband, and I wouldn’t be caught dead in an *American *(ugh!) SUV.
Toyota Prius - I’m an asshole and I don’t know how to drive.
Insanely lifted truck - My penis is really small.
Crown Vic with light bar and shotgun - See above. 
Fiat 500: hipster.
BRZ/F86: sales associate.
Boxster: hair dresser.
Mercedes/Porsche/Cadillac/Hummer/etc AWD vehicles: I have zero idea what it takes to drive off-road.
Nissan Leaf - I will misinterpret your attempts at backing slowly away from me as an invitation to tell you even more about the tax subsidy I claimed for my upgraded electrical panel in my garage.
Mini Cooper - No, I’m 3rd-generation Italian heritage actually, but the union jack decal makes it go faster, just like a Type-R sticker does.
Saturn - If I hold a steady 53mph, the dashboard rattle syncs with the door panel squeak and sounds just like “We Will Rock You”.
Scarily, this one is true.
I have a non-STI WRX…I only have partial brain damage. 
Oldsmobile - they told me I could get it fixed at a Saturn dealer.
Saturn - they told me I could get it fixed at a Pontiac dealer.
Pontiac - screw it, my next car will be a Toyota.
Any Studebaker. Black fenders, silver doors, green hood, polka-dot seat covers, monkey-fur dashboard.
A fan of old TV shows.
Alfa Romeo Spyder: … (sorry, I got nothing. They’re just fucking cool.)
Nobody’s mentioned mine yet, and I’m not sure if I want to know.