I pray to the goddess “Salonia” when I want to come out looking like a million dollars. LOL
Clickar, the goddess of television remote controls.
Lostclickar, brother of Clickar, trickster god of lost remote controls.
St. Vincent of Lombardi, patron saint of the city of Green Bay.
Pelé, the football god
(Background: at least in Germany, players and coaches will often invoke the football god in interviews, saying something like “the football god was not on our side today” after losing a game. So the god already exists, and giving him a name, what else could it be than the name of a real football god?)
Not to mention the ‘New Gods’ in Neil Gaiman’s novel American Gods. Like Small Gods, their power, influence and very existence depend on the number and faith of their believers.
Please. Bilious is the Oh, God! of Hangovers.
I often say that the Lord God of Traffic Lights is with/against me on a particular day. Never gave him a name.
Nitpickia and Pedanticus – Patrons of the SDMB
Lord Stono – Overseer of Righteous Buzzes
Roofus – Overseer of Roof-Related Repairs
Krakus Bonicus – Enforcer of the gods
Streamius: The trickster god that plays annoying pranks on you when you try to use streaming services. For example:
- Logging you out of an app for no apparent reason, so the next time you try to start it up, you have to go through the thing where you log on to your account on a different device and type in a code, or some such nonsense.
- Making the system go back one level in the menu hierarchy if you leave it sitting where you want it long enough to get up and make a sandwich.
- Making the app lose track of which episode of a series was the last one you watched.
- Causing frequent pauses for buffering, especially during live sporting events.
Wee Thusa - a small god who makes sure that his worshipers are never caught out of toilet paper. Worshippers do not proselytize. Wee Thusa finds his own worshippers, giving them songs to sing in the shower in his honor.
Dead Yans Puey - the god of good webcomics that don’t post regularly or often enough. The cries of “Damn you Dead Yans Puey!” when fans find that the site still hasn’t updated, are as prayers to him.
If anyone is feeling handy, Cardea is the Roman goddess of hinges. During her reign, the Roman hinges were post hinges, with the door swinging on posts at the top and bottom of the door.
Not an original idea but there’d be a lot of national personifications. Uncle Sam, Mother Russia and so on.
Liberty would be the goddess of liberty (naturally), and look just like her statue.
Atarintendo, Goddess of Video Games.
Slayer, the God of Badassery. All who face him are Doomed.
Many have spoken of the Gods of Poker, but I don’t believe I’ve ever heard any of them personified.
Straightflushius?
I am shocked that nobody has yet mentioned Cecil, God of Knowlege. For shame.
A lot of the Greek gods could just keep their jobs. We still need a God of War, so Ares is fine. Others would get promoted or demoted. The Internet is pretty clearly under Mercury’s jurisdiction, so he’s a much bigger deal. On the other hand, Diana, Goddess of the Hunt, has had her duties largely transferred to Monsanto, God of Factory Farming. Ceres, Goddess of Cereal, is still in the pantheon, but the mythology now includes her fierce rivalry with her sister, Locarbia, Goddess of Gluten Intolerance.
New Yorker cartoon caption: “Dionysus, God of Wine, meets Tedious, God of Craft Beer.”
Insanus Cattus, the protector goddess of crazy cat ladies.
Druncus Kooladious, interceding deity of those who blindly follow charlatans.
My mother and I referred to a god I thought of as NoDarnia. This deity is the one who occasionally demands the sacrifice of a sock, either from the washer or dryer.
The Antipodean diety Dingonius … whose apostles follow the Dingo Principle.
“When the shit hits the fan, it’s every bastard for themself”
The goddess Cyclista, who must be appeased by the purchase of a new bicycle each season. Otherwise she will cause headwinds, rain, plagues of gnats and mosquitos, and elusive and annoying squeaks, creaks, and vibrations as one rides along.
-“BB”-