There have actually been awards given out for the sort of thing being dicsussed in this thread. Privacy International has just announced its Stupid Security Contest Winners, which include:
A full account of each of these incidents can be found here.
If you want a full list of nominees in each category, go here and scroll halfway down the page to the five links.
Let’s see… my coworker had knee surgery and was on crutches (metal). He got wanded everyday because he, of course, set off the metal detector. They also wanted him to remove his pants so they could be sure that he really had staples in his leg.
Right after 9/11 they were searching coffee cups and one guy told me they had “fingered his sandwich.”
I won’t say what company I work for, but I’d bet it’s not particulary high on a terrorist hit list. :rolleyes:
“For the safety of our patrons and staff, oversided purses and other bags are no longer permitted inside Blah’s Cinema.”
Printed on a paper festooned with waving flags.
:rolleyes:
Thank you, Wise Theater Management Persons, for saving us from the terror of reasonably priced candy and soft drinks.
Originally posted by Tuckerfan:
I bet there’s no extra precautions being taken at what’s the best target in this state: The Jack Daniels Distillery!
In order to protect this national treasure, I think we must raise the security level of the entire nation.
mhendo beat me to the link by 4 hours. Curses!
I think the airport security guards who forced a woman to drink her own breast milk :eek: deserved to win something though.
[nitpick]
1 day and 4 hours. 
[/nitpick]
The building where I work is now requiring everyone who leaves the office after 6PM to show ID and sign their name. I take great pleasure in walking right past the guards, knowing that they know they can’t stop me for fear of a false arrest lawsuit. The policy seems useless, since anyone who isn’t supposed to be there will do the same. Are there any other buildings doing the same thing?
In honor of the second anniversary of 9-11 I’m reviving this old thread.
It protects them from the terrible threat of some terrorist out to wreck the economy by sneaking in their own can of pop or beer, instead of paying the outrageous inflated prices they charge at the Arena.
Same thing happens at the HHH Dome here in Minneapolis, but they’re pretty open about what they are searching for.
A friend works for a local company that recently tightened their requirements for company id badges. No longer acceptable to have them with you, they must be visibly worn (and specifically on the upper left chest area).
So one night, a bunch of us were listening to him complaining about this. We persuaded him (with help from a few beers) to go to the nearest copy shop, where the staff helped us scan, print and laminate an identical-looking ID badge. They even downloaded a color picture of Marilyn Monroe to use on the badge.
Now our friend is a big, brawny, black dude – over 6 feet tall and probably 250+ pounds, mostly muscle.
But he says he’s been wearing this ID badge around the company for a while now, and nobody seems to notice at all.
An acquaintance on the force used to give bomb detection and disarmament training lectures. En route to give a lecture at a naval base. Stopped by the guard at the entrance. Warns him, “There are bomb materials in the trunk.” Guy goes, opens trunk, examines, comes back, says “Where?”
He had lifted up dynamite, C-whatever it’s called (the modern shoe explosive), and canisters of liquids without noticing them.
Acquaintance says, “They’re the ones wrapped in their government-issued warning sheets.”
I feel so safe…
Wow. That’s scary. :eek:
About a year ago, they decided to plonk some tanks down at London Heathrow.
Tanks.
We were all trying to think of a terrorist threat at LAP to which the appropriate response would be a tank. Best we could come up with was if the terrorists all ran in a straight line out in the open, maybe it could squash them.
A Headscratcher Award goes to the Northern California Renaissance Faire, where us participants had elaborate laminated full-color computer-printed photo IDs with various endorsements on the back, which were printed on label stock that had a varnish overprint with the Faire logo - making it all but impossible for someone to duplicate the labels.
This was an event held on 20 acres of very dry and dusty land about 15 miles from the nearest small town. Guess they wanted to be sure Osama and pals didn’t set up shop behind an ale stand. Who knows what they could have done at the joust?
Maybe they thought there were some leftovers from the Crusades hiding out at your Festival. Was the ghost of Richard the Lion-Hearted there in disguise, maybe? Ha!
Hrm. The company where I work (I’d better not name it, I suppose) issued everyone, at considerable expense, with photo IDs. A month or two later these were replaced – at even more considerable expense – with new, identical, photo IDs. We are expected to carry these IDs with us everywhere, at all times.
These photo IDs are never used. Not for anything. We are never asked to show them. At all. Ever.
Ain’t paranoia wonderful?
This is beyond ridiculous... I guess Air Marshalls are trained to deal with rampaging and bottle flinging nursing mothers aren't they ?Apparently, buying Micro$oft’s Flight Simulator program will now get you a visit from the authorities. :rolleyes:
You forgot the best part. On all the doors that are now locked, but used to be open, there are signs with directions posted to let delivery people know which doors are now unlocked :rolleyes:
When this was first implemented, one of the professors went around for several days wearing an aluminum-foil hat and posted signs on all those doors that said: “Terrorists: Please do not read any other signs on these doors!”
That’s more for the drugs and booze and outside food and recording equipment, I’d warrant. The bane of eventgoers everywhere.