I’m going to be 60 in a couple months. I used to enjoy watching Jeopardy, and I always knew a lot of the answers. But here’s the thing- I simply either knew the answer or I didn’t-- and if I knew the answer I’d say it out loud before the contestant.
These days I find it very frustrating to watch Jeopardy, because a lot of times I know that I know the answer but I can’t retrieve it, at least not quickly enough that it would matter. I’m that way with things like actors too-- my wife and I will be watching something, she’ll say “what’s that actor’s name?”, and I know that I know the name, but I often just can’t retrieve it-- the ‘tip of my tongue’ syndrome. It happens more and more often.
Ohhhhh yeah. Something I know quite well, but just cannot remember the name of. Then I look it up, or find out some other way, and never have trouble with it again (at least, not as far as I can tell! ).
A barely-related anecdote from a friend, whose mother had totally lost her memory. She lived near her mother’s facility so was the one who had all the oversight, and visited frequently. After one such visit, she phoned her brother - her only sibling - and said “The good news is, we have a brother! The bad news is, we don’t know his name!”.
Yeah, just the other day I was trying to remember the name of a certain actor whose name I knew that I knew but couldn’t retrieve from the ol’ memory banks. Then I thought, he’s married to an actress whose work I know well and like in a lot of different things-- I’ll just focus on her name to get to his name-- “(actress name) is married to (actor name I’m trying to remember)”.
Then I realized I couldn’t even retrieve her name. The kicker is, they both happen to be from my home area of SE Michigan. I had to resort to IMDB’ing stuff they were in.
For the record they are Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell
I was talking about this IRL with somebody just this morning.
IME I increasingly recall the gist of [whatever] that I learned 2 to 10 years ago. I know I used to know the details. I can recall the general reason I gathered the info or the circumstances around it. But the details are simply not there.
Sometimes a surprise trigger will dredge up details I was sure were lost. But often not.
Yeah.
It’s evident we remember more than we can recall, and sometimes when the recall is reinforced externally (e.g. you looked it up), the remember part is still there.
I suspect your refreshed recall will last awhile (months? couple years?) depending on the salience of [whatever] is to your daily life. Then once again that item will become unrecallable but still remembered. To remain lost until your recaller is again tickled by an outside cue.
The biggest thing I notice at 75 is that I can’t store as many steps in my memory as I did when I was younger, this has been progressing for at least the last 20 years. Now when I am figuring something i have to write down each step and label it. On the plus side I find I am better able to stick with something over a period of weeks or even years in some cases where when I was younger the slightest thing would side track me.
That’s probably been true for years, since most research points to people rating their ability to do multitasking better than it is in tests, but I used to be able to pretend to do so.
I would have a book or a crossword puzzle or my laptop open while I watched the news, e.g., and think that I got the gist of both. No longer.
Now if I take my attention away for even a second it’s gone. What just happened? What did he say? Where was that? Why are there llamas?
I’m getting a bit long in the tooth, and while I’m happy to embrace the adage that wisdom comes with age, the same can’t be said for memory retention. I make it a point to learn new things every day—whether it’s through reading, online courses, or lectures—in a variety of subjects like history, physics, music, and literature. Understanding the material? No problem. Remembering it? That’s a different story. What used to be a steel trap is now more like a leaky tub. So, I’ve accepted that I need to learn things more than once to etch them into my long-term memory. Strangely enough, I’m better at remembering complex subjects than mundane things, like why I walked into the kitchen in the first place.
My memory is pretty good at 77, unlike my wife’s, whose short-term memory is becoming problematic and worrisome. I’ve had to tell her to write down anything that she orders or donates online, as she forgets that she’s done it and it makes it difficult to figure out what is and isn’t a valid charge on the card. I have some lapses, but nothing serious; like I’ll watch a movie on Netflix and realize near the end that I’ve already seen it. I’ve also noticed that my writing skills have deteriorated a bit and I tend to misspell -ence and -ance words more often and garble a sentence now and then. My computer skills are still pretty good, as are my analytical skills.
I was away for a long time but came back this past year and it actually took me months to notice that it didn’t say “Mundane and Pointless…” because I still gloss over it and read it that way.
It’ll also always be “General Questions” in my mind!
I’m in my 40s, but it’s really just habit and inattention …I hope.
Ah, but literature will save the day! Or, at least, plenty of notebooks and - for work - the OneNote of Truth (if I didn’t write it in there, it couldn’t have been important!).
In terms of memory and aging, I’m having less trouble than most (late 60s). But for different reasons.
I lost a lot of short term memory ability many years ago after a head injury. To cope, I began using memory tricks and keeping a small notebook with me all the time. I jot down everything, even if it’s just a number I need for only a few minutes. I have a shelf with linear feet of notebooks I’ve filled at work/home. Now most of it is gibberish, since years have passed and it’s out of context.
So things are unchanged for me, since my memory ability reached old age long before I did.
The noticeable declines for me are in spatial awareness* and visual cognition. This may be due to eye problems last year, and getting accustomed to seeing “differently”. Or maybe the 3 month bout with Covid. Or maybe it’s just age. Not sure, but it’s very obvious as I go about my day.
*In the past I worked as both a yard-hostler (shoehorning 18-wheelers into tight spots), and a crane operator. Both require above-average spatial abilities. After last year’s Covid and eye issues, I often need a few tries to get my car aligned in a parking space. This is a bit worrisome to me, but I’m learning to work around this as well.
SO true! For anyone who hasn’t seen it, the protagonist doesn’t make short-term memories, so has to write things down IMMEDIATELY. For important things, he has them tattooed on his chest.
The movie is shot “backwards” (every scene starts with “Five Minutes Earlier”) so that the viewer is in the same boat as the character. I won’t spoil anything (though for readers of this thread…), but it’s creative and moving and full of great plot twists.
But it’s helped so much with my coping with a bad memory (age, and a side effect of being ADD). Several times a day I think “Must write this down NOW, before I forget it!”
And thank God for a Calendar app with alerts. So often an alert pops up and I think “What? An appointment tomorrow? Who put this on my… oh, it was you, My June Self! Thank you!”
I just learned this the other night. Don’t stop half way to where you’re going because you forgot what you where going to get. I turned around and thought and thought what was I getting and then just walked back there and “Oh yea” phone. Then I had to figure out why I wanted the phone.
In addition to the helpful practical tips shared in this thread, I thought I’d share the thing that helps me the most emotionally as I encounter the artifacts of aging: just say “whatEVER!”
I started making notes on my computer years ago. My memory is still OK (playing games with my friends several times a week likely helps) but my ability to remember to do everyday things on time was never good. I use a program called CalendarScope with everything from a reminder of a dental appointment 6 months from now to a reminder that its time to start preparing supper.
).