Lets teach the bees to count to 5!

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
#1

OK - who is with me?

These small creatures that work their hardest just so that we can all enjoy the pleasures of freshly baked bread, help us with our crops, turn sour looking buds into magnificent flowers, chase away the caterpillars from our lettuce and on rare occasions, chase away even my mother in law from the garden table (god bless them).

But,

They need teaching!
Yes.

Because apparently, they can only count to 4.

So what say you all - shall we educate these critters?

And most importantly - how?

I propose that we all, from now on, leave 5 peanut-butter-jam-jelly-salami-sweet-bread sandwiches on our garden furniture, and a force-8-cortex-hammering-ham’n’chilli-mustard-roll on the side to teach them the difference.

But my teaching methods are lacking.

Any ideas on how to move on with this most noble cause?

Thank you

(oh yeah,link: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20081026/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_australia_science;_ylt=AlViAg4RYRGe_FcMTgGzv6_tiBIF )

#2

If you can count to four, then you can distinguish between dots and dashes. If you can distinguish dots and dashes, you can learn Morse Code. So let’s teach the bees some English! Forget counting, the can learn to communicate with us. (And not via that dancing nonsense, that looks too tiring for both the speaker and listener).

Then, after gaining their trust, we explain to them that a lot of the comments about the news stories explaining the experiment in the OP are less than supportive:

Anonymous Dumbass on the Internet: uuuhhhhh, y r they not out there curing deseases and world hunger? why are they wasting taxpayers money on this bullshit???*

So we explain to the bees that these people are too thick to appreciate their impressive command of the numbers up to 4, and are openly attacking their life’s work.** Then they sting these people. A lot.

And finally, my greatest dream would come true: stupidity would be treated with pain.

Any questions?

*I wish I was exaggerating. Oh, I wish I was.
**Which, considering their lives aren’t that long to begin with, should be an effective rage inducer

#3

I taught my bees MAD HOOKUP SKILLZ! Problem is, they don’t live long enough to properly utilize them, and I got tired of the continuous tutelage. And they are mostly lesbians, and don’t need my help to begin with.

:frowning:

They taught me the “Bee Dance”, though! Now I’m the “Bee’s Knees”!

#4

Methinks they’re they’re doing all right.

#5

Can’t wait to try explosive honey. Going to need some new extraction gear though.