Letters to your loved ones

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

My teacher had us do a real cool activity today in class. She had us write a letter to someone we know. It could be your friend, family, significant other. Alive or deceased, it does not matter. Just write a letter to them and tell them how you feel.

I’ll start with mine, but give a little context first and hopefully not spoil the story.

The “Cruisers” is a pretend gang that me and the other lightweights on the wrestling team called ourselves so we could gang up on the bigger guys. Also, practice was after school.

So, here it is:

Drew,

It has been a long time buddy. About 10 years at this point since I’ve seen or heard from you. I still think about you from time to time. I miss you man. You were one of the funniest fucking people I ever knew. I’m serious about that. There was hardly anybody that could make me laugh like you.

We were friends since 6th grade, I think. Maybe earlier. I always knew you had my back. Remember in high school when we would hold the doors shut at the end of the day and make everyone late for the bus. Everybody would pile up and start yelling and getting pissed. Everyone hated it, but we thought it was hysterical. It was.

Or, remember when we jumped the basketball players and drew a “C” on their face for “Cruiser.” I was the ringleader for the whole thing but when their coach came around, you took all the blame. He knew it was me. He stared me dead in the eyes and asked, “who did it?” You jumped in immediately and said, “it was me.” I never knew why you did that, but it was awesome.

And, the video we made for speech class where we pretended to re-enact “The Blair Witch.” For some reason our teacher got real pissed. I think it was because we didn’t follow his format or something. It didn’t matter. Everyone else in class laughed.

I’ve got a ton of other memories I wish I could recall. More than anything, I just remember the good times. The goofiness and absurdity we would cause. It was just inevitable. We were a strong team and we had fun. I fucking miss you so much sometimes man. You were literally one of the craziest dudes I knew. Everyone loved you. You had so much potential.

So why the fuck did you do it? I never saw it coming. When Alex told me in the mall, I didn’t believe him. I thought it was just another one of your practical jokes. It wasn’t.

Your funeral was horrible. Your mom was a mess. I didn’t know you had a little brother. You were only 19. I know we grew apart but you could’ve called me.

Everyone misses you and no one knows why you did what you did. I still hang out with some of our old friends. We don’t talk about you very much. It’s probably because it hurts too much and we’re fucking pissed. If you came back I’d punch you square in the face. Then, we’d work it out and go do something crazy. But, you’re not coming back.

You were one of a kind, man. I mean that. You can’t say that about many people but it was absolutely true with you. And, we were tight. I’ll never forget you buddy.

2

What kind of school are you in? Just curious.

3

Nursing.

4

Hi Mom. I know you and Dad never wanted kids and so of course you ended up with a little speed freak. Funny how that works. You must have really pissed some people off in your last life. I know you loved me but it always seemed balanced on a knife edge. Believe me, I’ve learned all about conflicting emotions. The problem is that I’m probably way short on glucocorticoid receptors as a result which makes me twitchier than a squirrel on crack. Then there was the encephalitis and whatever damage that caused, not to mention how batshit your whole family is. At least everybody on Dad’s side had the courtesy to croak before they could be a pain in the ass. Not that the gene pool over there isn’t something out of Swamp Thing too.

What I’m trying to say is, I love you too and it kind of sucks that feeling that was never really an option. Til now.

5

I should also mention it doesn’t have to be to a loved one. It can also be to an enemy.

6

Disappointed that no one is replying. I’m sure everyone has something they would like to to say to to their friend.

7

Ok, I’ll go…

Dear S,

So, what a ride it’s been then! I think this September will make it 32 years, longer by far than any other relationship either of us has had with anyone not related by blood. You’re the only good thing I got out of that damn school, and I’m guessing it’s the same for you. But changes are coming, and no matter how I may tell you they’re not, I never could lie to you.

In a matter of weeks, I’m going - upping sticks and moving to Singapore, and gods willing, I won’t be back. We’ve lived an hour apart, we’ve lived 10 minutes apart, we’ve lived 5 hours apart, but we’ve never lived this far apart. I don’t know how we’ll manage, and it kills me to think that our children won’t grow up together like they could have. It’s the best decision for me and mine, but it’s bitter in some ways.

I just want to tell you that I love you, you’re a part of who I am and I am so grateful to have had you in my life. We’ve shared the good stuff and the bad, and the dreadful.

I will try, oh god I’ll try.

Love you, E x

8

Good stuff, Charley.

9

A, I miss you often. You have been a good friend. We met while you were in HS and I was just bumming around. Remember how we met? Our friend M had a flat tire and came to my place to borrow one of mine. You could not believe that M would borrow a tire, nor that I had one that would fit, AND that I would loan it to him on such short notice, five minutes. Its a car guy thing. We got you into cars, racing, and into our group.

While M went to trade school and I continued to bum around, you went to college for SEVEN years. You got your hardware/software engineering degrees. You gave me moral support when I went to college for my two year degree in Aviation Maintenance Technology. You did not hassle too much for it taking me three years to get it.

We climbed rocks together, went to concerts, and you even got me to go to a theater for an OPERA!! Your family took me in as an older brother even though I am from the “wrong side of the tracks”. I was extreemly happy and proud when you walked down the aisle to get your sheepskin!

I was honored and pleased when you agreed to be my best man. I thank you for saving that date for me and my bride for over six months. You did not hassle me when I told folks that our honeymoon was unplanned and unscheduled.

You bought me my first computor. How did I live without one for so long? When I had troubles learning how to use it I got expert advice from you. Thanks!

We have been friend for over 35 years now, and I can not imagine being without you as a friend. While I admit that I was the one to move away, you know well my reasons. You are the best! Thanks, 48Willys.

PS the opera was a blast!

10

I did this a few years back, upon realizing that most of my life since the age of 18 or so has had electronic correspondence only. By now I’ve totally lost all the archived emails I had saved for a while from 1990 through 1999. Yet I can still find a few old letters I exchanged with people back when I used “snail mail”.

So I took the time time write a letter, a handwritten physical letter, to my wife to document our life at that time and my feelings for her.

I think she’s lost it, or maybe it’s packed away somewhere for our kids or grandkids to stumble across someday long after our Gmail folders have been purged or lost.

11

Well, Robardin you can always write a new one.

12

I did that, to my husband. It was a couple of days before our first child was born and I wrote to tell him how much I love him, how excited I was to be about to embark on this journey with him and how sure I was that he was going to be a great father. He cried :D.

It planted a seed, actually, and I now do this for both my children. The idea is that I write them a letter on the eve of each of their birthdays, talking about what’s happened over the year, what they’re up to and how very proud I am of them. The letters are sealed and kept in their memory boxes. I’m thinking they may like to read them when they’re older, or when I’m gone, or what have you…

Of course, given that I am champion prevaricator (seriously, I have certificates) I’m ALWAYS late writing the letters. At this moment I’m 4 months late with my older daughter’s and an impressive 10 months with the younger’s. You have no idea how hard it is to remember what happened over a given time, switch off your hindsight and still try to make it interesting. On one memorable occasion I wrote to my older daughter that we had just discovered I was pregnant and couldn’t wait for her to find out, when in actual fact I was close to term by the time I wrote the letter, she knew we were expecting a girl and had helped choose her name. You could ask why I insist on pretending I’m writing these things “live” and at this point I have absolutely no idea! Still, it’s a tradition I like, and I’m glad I started it.