LGBT teens - It Gets Better

[Anne_Neville]

@The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun

While I’m not gay, I will say this much: If life gets better after high school, it’s news to me.

I’m not gay, and life is MUCH better for me now than when I was in high school.

I live where I want, which means not in a neighborhood where you have to drive to get anywhere.

I don’t live with my parents. Enough said.

If I’m really miserable at a job, I have the option of looking for another one, or quitting. If a particular teacher makes you miserable in high school, and your parents don’t think that’s sufficient reason to change classes, there’s nothing you can do.

I choose my own religion and career. If my parents don’t like my choices, they can lump them.

I earn my own money, and decide how to spend it.

I cook my own food, and don’t have to eat stuff that my parents like but I don’t.

I can have sex without worrying about being caught.

I don’t worry about getting into college. Been there, done that, got the degree.

There are no mandatory pep rallies. If I don’t want to go to sporting events, I don’t go. I can go to Costco or Target during them, and get my shopping done in a crowd-free store instead.

People don’t seem as compelled to make fun of others for being different.

[MsRobyn]

@ralph124c

It is sad to read these posts, and realize how much hell a lot of kids go through in four years.
The fact is, there is a very big anti-intellectual streak in America-a lot of HS kids like being ignorant, and like being boorish, and like beating up on anyone they consider different.
Most of the bullies are people who should be in trade/vocational schools-why don’t we recognize this fact?
You have to teach a HS class to see what goes on when the troublemakers run the show.

Ralph,

The sad truth is that, as long as we expect every teenager to go to college, and continue to teach kids that college is the only route to a successful life, vo-tech education will never be taken seriously. But vo-tech solves the wrong problem.

The largest issue with bullying is that schools are basically more intense versions of society, sort of like how you get brandy from wine. As long as some kids are valued over other kids, and as long as there are "us"es and "them"s, and as long as kids are individuals with differences, you will have bullying. What schools can do is to teach kids to stand up and defend themselves; that it’s OK to open up to a counselor or trusted adult about their problems; and that bullying will be punished. I also think that schools need to recognize that not every incident of bullying can be solved with conflict resolution and “talking it out”, and that episodes of bullying that rise to the level of criminal behavior need to be treated as a crime.

[Una_Persson]

It gets better, but not great, to be LGBT after high school. If you go to college you may find much more acceptance there, and more people in the same boat as yourself, but there’s still taunting, discrimination, and even violence. And then when you get into the professional workplace, you will find that at a large number of companies being openly LGB will at best hinder your career, and at worst result in harassment just under the line for you to be able to get redress. And God help you if you’re the unfortunate “T”, which even many of the “LGB’s” treat as a pariah and will join openly in the mockery and discrimination against them. And when even “our” President (meaning one supposed to be LGBT-friendly) is waffling like a Perkins line cook on Sunday morning, there’s only little reason to have much hope.

[gwendee]

@FrancisCastle

My son is in middle school. He has never done well with homework, but always scores high on tests. This worked out ok for him in grade school, but now that the grading is different, he’s barely scraping by. I had a long talk with him about it, and one of the biggest reasons he doesn’t try harder is because he doesn’t want other kids thinking that he is smart. I couldn’t believe that was actually something that he had to worry about. When I was in HS, I was more of a nerd/band geek and I know he is more into the “popular” crowd. I remember the stress I experienced in HS about fitting in and I can only imagine how much worse it could get. Kids are ruthless sometimes.

Thank you for this. I could describe my middle school son the same way, but he has not (yet) ever verbalized to me why he lets the homework slide. I will talk to him about this angle. (gently) He was on the receiving end of bullying last week. As a result I’ve been thinking a lot about bullying in general, and this thread and the circulating videos. Clearly LGBT teens have a set of bullying challenges that not everyone faces, but I wish the message was Teens - It Get’s Better.