From what I remember of High School, it was hell for the gays I knew.
A kid two years below me switched schools because he was getting picked on for being gay. I went to a small school, I knew who the kid was, but wasn’t friendly with him. He was effeminate and didn’t hide. He was a drama kid, and I remember asking someone why I hadn’t seen him around, they told what happened. I felt awful that he had to change schools.
In that same school, we had a boy whose family was very prominent in the community. He had a popular older brother and an athletic twin brother. He was BFF’s with all the popular girls, my sister was his prom date senior year. He was never “out” until after high school, but it was a pretty widely assumed he was gay. He took his fair share of ribbing, but quickly fled our small town after high school. Even being “protected” by the Queen Bees he was still given shit. Just recently there was an article in my hometown paper about his family’s business and a bit of controversy. A commenter on the article said he would never trust that family because it contained (and accepted) a “queer”. I was shocked, to say the least. He lives 600 miles away and has nothing to do with the family business.
“Jen’s” parents got divorced when she was 13, her mother came out as gay. She never told anyone, some of us knew. AFAIK, she never got picked on for it, instead, she turned all her hate against her mother. It was a subject no one dared broach with her, lest you become the target of her anger. As far as I know, she still doesn’t talk to her mom. I found out through my mom, who was friends with an out woman at work who knew Jen’s mom. My mom repeatedly asked if Jen had told anyone, but I didn’t have the guts to ask her about the situation, if her mom was brought up, it was just to tell us how much she hated her.
All the rest of the gay kids I know from high school didn’t come out until they left our small town. I wouldn’t have either. Most just kept their heads down and pushed through. None that have come out are a shock to me, although a very butch girl I went to school with has shocked me that she is a born-again fundie and married.
I went to college about 6 hours away from home. One other person from my class went to the same college. We would see each other around campus and say hi, but didn’t really hang out. Two months into college, he said he wanted to have lunch. We did and he came out to me. At this point, he asked that I not tell people from home, but he knew that it would get back to people eventually. He had come out to his family and I was the only other link to our hometown. “Sean” was a sweet kid who I don’t think most people noticed in high school. I told him I was glad that he felt comfortable enough to tell me and that he should be happy. I did get questioned about him by people from home, but I lied and told them I didn’t see him that often and didn’t talk to him, so I had no idea if the rumors were true. When I finally asked him what I should say, he told me to say whatever I was comfortable with. I kept up that I didn’t know and I didn’t care. I felt like it wasn’t any of my business to keep the rumor mill and if he wanted to tell someone, he would. Today, he is happy and gay in NYC and out to all. I think it is funny that he will friend people on facebook from high school and they are shocked at how “Out and Proud” he is. He was very introverted in high school from feeling forced to hide, he told one friend in high school and she kept her mouth shut about it.
I went to high school in a very small, rural town. I transferred in from a larger city around 8th grade. Thankfully, my parents moved back to the city after my sister graduated from high school. I have been back to that town twice since then. I choose not to go. My mom had gay friends, so it was never something I felt was wrong. I knew out happy, gay people when I was a teenager. Even still, I didn’t have the courage or backbone to stand up to someone who would call someone else a fag or gay. Now I do, but that is 16 years later.
