Mandelstam: It is very interesting that you’ve gone back and edited all your posts and made yourself into a woman. You know, for a woman you have an absolutely filthy mouth. But that’s neither here nor there. Unlike you, I did not come into this topic to make a personal attack camouflaged as a political discussion. FYI, I did not take civics in 5th grade, nor did I attend high school here. That might explain why I have so many questions. However I do know that in this country people are allowed to have differing opinions, something you might have forgotten from your 5th grade civics class. Our midnight rendezvous is now off BTW.
Originally posted by Major Feelgud:
“Mandelstam: It is very interesting that you’ve gone back and edited all your posts and made yourself into a woman.”
Gone back and edited my posts? In what way? Edited which posts how? When did I ever say I was a man?
“You know, for a woman you have an absolutely filthy mouth.”
You know, for a man living in the twenty-first century, you have a strangely Victorian view of women.
Next time I feel the urge to swear I’ll remember to say, “Good Lord!” 
- “But that’s neither here nor there. Unlike you, I did not come into this topic to make a personal attack camouflaged as a political discussion.” *
True. It would appear that you came into this topic to make a personal attack masked as nothing but but an inane personal attack. (I see nothing here relevant to the discussion of Hillary “Cliton.”)
- “Our midnight rendezvous is now off BTW.” *
Hmmm… To be honest, I am almost terrified to delve into your sexuality, which I imagine in a kind of Anthony Perkins context. But, at the risk of provoking a virtual shower scene, what are you on about here?
Have you cut off our proposed tryst because:
-
You know I’m a woman and you prefer men.
-
You knew I was a woman but you’re turned off by my foul mouth.
-
You don’t care about my anatomy but you were freaked out by the PVC harness, or,
-
There are, in fact, no parks in Pigshit for us to meet in.
Sigh. To think what could have been. This might have been the perfect opportunity to unify the country…
Oh, and as to where you attended high school and whether you took civics. For the record, I would never want to make anyone feel badly about their lack of education. But the last time we crossed paths, you made it clear that you think people should have only the minimum education required for their job (bank tellers with psych degrees was the subject of your rant as I recall). Now it sounds to me as though you are singing a different tune entirely on your own behalf.
But I think I do sort of like you Feelgud. In fact, I almost started to the last time. Somewhere in between the muddy lines of your weird posts I sense the creakings of an opening mind.
Major Feelgud said:
Major, I’m on your side here with respect to Mandelstam…but you keep typing, and it’s getting real hard for me to keep a straight face. Maybe you should go regroup your troops or something.
Mandelstam said:
How 'bout that–a pretentious little shit who makes fun of spelling errors doesn’t know it’s not the 21st Century. I assume the Major will most likely make it to January 1, but he’s not there yet.
I dunno about him, but I do not, for the record, give a shit. And since you like to harp on the Major’s bipartisanship, or lack thereof, let’s take a look at how bipartisan youare. From a couple quotations of you I posted in your thread:
and
So I think we can safely conclude that you are just as bipartisan as, say, Major Feelgud.
MysterEcks:
Mandelstam added these sentences on later:
“Speaking of hard-ons, I find it sort of interesting that it hasn’t occured to either of you Pigshitters that it’s just possible that I am a woman.”
“I am also not a guy.”
“Also–although I know that subject is “immaterial” to a bipartisan New Man such as yourself–I am not, for the record, a man.”
These sentences weren’t in his posts the first time. Nor did he complain about being called male endearments the first time around in the other different topics.
He’s most probably a man. Did you noticed that he invited you out for a beer in the other topic? This is generally something a woman doesn’t do. He’s a poet, he’s sensitive enough to use a Russian poet’s name as a handle. Generally, a woman who is that sensitive would not be that crude.
Bipartisan? One of the things I’ve learned is that because of the US system of check and balances, the President by himself is not going to be making any major changes in these 4 years (apart from possibly the make-up of the Supreme Court). Of the 2, Bush is less likely of making any big impact than Gore.
My dear Mr. Mandelstam: Our tryst is now off until you learn your own sexual identity. That and I need time to learn more Russian.
It’s impossible to edit posts unless you are a moderator. Even then, it leaves an “Edited by…” message on the bottom. So, in regards to Mandalstam editing her posts, either you are lying or are mistaken, or Mandalstam is endowed with special priviledges that not even moderators have.
You have only posted here in the Pit. Nothing postitive is done here in the Pit. If you want to be thought of as a real doper, tell us your favorite kids book in IMHO, or why you like chocolate (or flirt)in MPSIMS, or debate religion with me in GD, or ask/answer a question in GQ.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by MysterEcks *
How 'bout that–a pretentious little shit who makes fun of spelling errors doesn’t know it’s not the 21st Century. I assume the Major will most likely make it to January 1, but he’s not there yet.
Say what? I have never made fun of spelling errors, either at this site or anywhere else in cyberspace. Oh, and thanks for the reminder about the calendar. Since you obviously have a good head for painstaking detail, I wonder if you wouldn’t mind filling in as my Guy Friday. I assume you also make a good cup of coffee? (I know you’re a whiz with printer cables.)
[Recap: Ecks now proceeds to post a link to my maiden voyage here for the second time in 24 hours. In addition, he reproduces my comments on Bush the younger yet again. This has me wondering whether Ecks isn’t in actuality a mole posing as a Republican while in reality working for the Hillary-Clinton-in-2004 campaign.]
"So I think we can safely conclude that you are just as bipartisan as, say, Major Feelgud."
Once again, Ecks, you stymie me with your acute detective wits. My point was precisely that I am not bipartisan and neither is Major Feelgud. Only he wants to pretend that his little query on the subject of Hillary’s legitimacy was utterly without partisan prejudice. Which is sor of like the Wolf pretending that he just happened to be jogging in the woods when Red Riding Hood asked him for directions.
Yeesh!
For the record, I’m not a huge fan of either Clinton, nor of Al Gore, nor of any DLC democrat. (So, you see, I’ve got my work converting Major Feelgud to a bona fide bleeding heart cut out for me.)
Now Major, even you aren’t paranoid enough to suggest that I somehow edited my posts to add these statements after the fact. So you must be trying to say that in my first series of posts I made no remarks regarding my sex. That is correct, but so what?
" Nor did he complain about being called male endearments the first time around in the other different topics."
Male endearments?! Dear Feelgud, terms such as “Mandelfuck” and “shit-for-brains” hardly qualify as endearments, male or otherwise. Undoubtedly, however, you did assume I was male and I did nothing to correct that impression but, again, so what? This only proves that I didn’t care what sex you thought I was the first time I posted. It was, as you would say, immaterial.
“He’s most probably a man.”
???
“Did you noticed that he invited you out for a beer in the other topic? This is generally something a woman doesn’t do.”
Jeeeez Feelgud. I know you’re from Pigshit, but surely you’ve heard that women now have the right to vote and occasionally socialize at bars without chaperons. As for beer–they’ve even got special designer brands for us like Amstel Light.
“He’s a poet, he’s sensitive enough to use a Russian poet’s name as a handle. Generally, a woman who is that sensitive would not be that crude.”
Will somebody please trounce this simpleton with a volume of Sylvia Plath?
Feelgud, my dear, human beings are complex creatures, though some of us do indeed have dicks and some of us don’t. Likewise, some of us are sensitive, love poetry and appreciate the off-color possibilities of the English language. Check Chaucer for an early example if you are curious.
That said, I am extremely impressed that you have learned that Mandelstam is the name of a brilliant Russian poet. Why in no time I’ll have you reading Emma Goldman
Feelgud, if it makes you happy, feel free to persist in believing I am a man. In fact, imagine me with a dick 3x the size of Liam Neeson’s.
As to our canceled tryst. I am so very, very sorry. You see, I’d already packed up my riding whip and handcuffs in a box marked “North Dakota or Bust.”
Good day, Major, dear.
Note Danielinthewolvesden post where he says:
“So- you’re just a real angry guy, with nothing really positive to ask or input?”
Note mandelstam’s post above that where he says “I am not, for the record, a man.”
If mandelstam had written that he was a man initially then Daniel would have said angry gal. As it happens I remember that mandelstam’s post did not have the part about the guy in it initially, or any of the other parts where he mentions his sex. Since I had always thought of mandelstam as a guy I definitely would have picked it up, which I did the 2nd time after he edited his posts.
If it means what I think it means then I better get out of here before I get myself into any more trouble.
Alright, I’ve just been told the 3rd time that we are unable to edit our posts, in which case I must be mistaken, in which case it must be time for my missed medication.
Major Feelgud is wrong? Well, that’s certainly shaken my faith in all humanity.
Major Feelgud said:
Would you like a noia with that? Two noia? Hey Charlie, we need a paranoia at register four…
How do I know youra male? For that matter, how do you know I’m not a Mysses posing as a Myster? That’s right, we gotta take each other’s word for it, except for anyone we know in real life. (No, pictures on the People Pages or anywhere else aren’t conclusive–all they prove for sure is that somebody had access to apicture.) You don’t have to take his word for it, but you don’t have diddly-shit worth of evidence to the contrary.
(What is it with you and poster’s genders, anyway? Mandy’s female, peace is male, and why do you give a shit?)
I’ve been invited out for a beer by women several times. The first time would have been during the first Reagan Administration, so this isn’t a new development.
I think I’m getting Execdrin Headache #37 here.
This is a little akin to Tony Blair offering to repeal the Stamp Tax so the Colonies won’t revolt, if you see what I’m sayin’.
I think maybe.
Mandelstam said:
From this thread:
and
(Oh, yeah, they aren’t “spelling errors,” they’re typos. Silly me.)
I do indeed, and I’d be happy to see if the coffee can occupy the same temporal space as the cables.
I assume you’d want publicity for your views. Be happy I don’t bill you for the PR.
Oddly enough, I’ve wondered the same sort of thing about both you and the Major–what you guys (that’s the non-gender-specific “guys”) write makes your respective alleged positions look pretty stupid.
No, actually it wasn’t. Oh, sure, you admitted to a bias, but you have tried to come off as somehow more fairminded than the Major. You’re not–the two of you are opposite sides of the same coin.
Ok, your turn. (I can keep doing this for weeks if you like.)
Greetings Ecks and anyone else still reading.
In no particular order:
-
I’ve always assumed that the Major had purposely written “Cliton” instead of Clinton. He did, after all, do it twice in the same post.
-
I take my coffee light with no sugar.
-
Major, to spare me from moving over to the “peace” thread (where testicles are being discussed in uncanny detail), rent Woody Allen’s Everything you Always Wanted to Know About Sex… The skit in which Woody plays a sperm is hilarious. You’ll like it so much you’ll want to thank me by sending a fan letter to Judge Nikki Clarke
-
Ecks, I have never meant to imply that I’m more fair than the Major (or you for that matter). I simply think I’m right–which is another question entirely.
-
Danielinthewolves, if you are reading this, my favorite children’s story is The Little Prince. But I also loved A Wrinkle in Time when I got older.
-
Ecks, so what happened after that beer during the Reagan administration…
Okay, I’m off to drink some brews at the bowling alley, where me and my friends will watch wrestling and chase some tail. (Sorry Major, I just couldn’t resist.)
Mandelstam said:
You doubt he could make the same mistake twice?
Ah…well I knowI’m right, so you might wanna consult me next time.
I dunno–I had too much beer.
Not any more…