As many of you know my family has not been doing well over the last 2 months…
A quick overview for those who missed hubby’s threads: In August I was asked by family to come say my goodbyes to my father who was fighting an evil battle with cancer. Whilst there I found out I was pregnant with twins. 4 days later I lost the first twin - but we had one fighter left. Came home, started a new job. 10 days later my father died. I did not take time to grieve - new job, trying to hold it together for baby 2, and keep emotions to a minimum for hubby. Needless to say, 2 weeks later the second baby died. Had a D&E. 3 days later I went into labour again which lasted 5 days. Ended up in hospital again… After 3 weeks off I get back to work, only to find that my employer is hellbent on destroying my program (special teaching gig).
New stuff…
Last night - Monday - my sister rings from the US to tell me my mom is in hospital. She’s been in since Friday with heart attack symptoms. Mom’s hooked up to all sorts of machines and being monitored very closely. She’s on Heparin as well so every time they come to take blood it’s a messy deal. Sunday they did an angiogram and found two arteries are completely blocked and the other two are very ‘gungy’ as mom described it. Today she is #2 for surgery… a quadruple bi-pass…
So, I’ve lost 2 babies, my father died, my mother is due for major surgery, and I have to find another job. Two months of emotional rollercoaster of the worse kind… straight down.
I’ve had enough.
Hubby has had enough.
This would go in the Pit so I could toss in a few curse words, but I’m too drained. I don’t even have the gumption to rant properly. The tears are ever threatening. I just want to go to sleep for a very very long time. To be woken up with a lovely cuppa tea and told this is all a nightmare. But it’s not.
Thanks for listening. Sorry to be such a bummer.
Please say a prayer for my mom today. Good vibes for my sanity are also greatly appreciated.
I’ll get off the cross now… Someone else needs the firewood…
I am remembering a similar bad time in our life, when in the course of a month it seemed like it was just one damned awful thing after another. With each new trial we hung on to each other and this thought:
This too shall pass.
We never know when, but I’ve always found it to be true. So ride it out, baby. Let yourself grieve (or not grieve) until you are comfortable with taking on a new, better emotion – however long that takes. Only you will know how long. This too shall pass.
You’ll have prayers/positive thoughts/good vibes coming from me
In the meantime, please do be kind to yourself (and have that cuppa tea anyway). Make sure you & Kal turn toward each other during this (understandably stressful) time and not away from one another - that’ll only make things worse. From what I have read of both your & his posts though you both seem like caring, wise people. Give him lots of hugs - you both need them. And keep talking about how you feel.
Washte, you and Kal have been tremendously supportive to me during my recent run of bad luck. All I can do is offer you my love and support. Since I’ve already thanked God for you two, I’ll ask Him to look after you and your family as well. E-mail me if you need to whine, lament, or chat.
More words of support from my little corner of the world… one step at a time, even if they’re small, even if they’re painful, but one step at a time will see you, Kal, and your family through this.
if it helps, i’ve been praying for your family since august, and will continue to do so.
keep holding on, because it’s going to get better and stay better.
have faith in the fact that things will come right.
Yes, life does go on. Some days you wonder what the point is, but it still trudges on. A good friend once offered me a perspective that has served me well over the years. Think of your life as a graph (sorry, we’re engineers - we think that way…) If you put all the ups and downs of your life on this graph, you’ll find they move around a fairly neutral level. Would you rather live your life at that neutral level, or are you willing to accept the low points knowing there will be high points along the way to balance them. I know I’d willingly sacrifice the safe and endure the bad in order to enjoy the great things that come along. (Somehow, it was more profound when he said it.)
I wish you strength and peace as you deal with all the insanity being tossed your way. Lean on each other - it makes all the difference.
My best thoughts and wishes are going out to you and your mom. Don’t let things get you down, and remember that this, too, shall pass. Take some time to yourself. You and Kal can face this together and take strength from each other.
As I once said to my wife, it’s you and me against the world; when do we attack?
