I’ve taught Anger Management, FWIW. I’d suggest that another important step besides the excellent suggestions offered so far is essentially a cognitive strategy of changing your self talk in describing your anger process from “That ___ is really pissing me off”, which essentially describes your being a passive victim of ‘anger rays’ being beamed into your head from some outside thing or event, and describing it instead as “I’m really pissing myself off about ____”. It’s hard to manage anger if you don’t own it first. The world doesn’t upset us, we upset *ourselves about the world. *
Ever notice how some times a thing will be very upsetting, and other times you can find it much less annoying? The variable isn’t out there, it’s in you. This is easier to grasp when you are in a group, and can listen to your peers upsetting themselves about all of sorts of things that don’t trigger you. Eventually you realize they’re looking at you thinking the exact same thing.
And it’s amazing how often the answer to that is “fear of becoming/finding out that/having it revealed that you ARE (or carry the characteristics of) that which you are angry about (putatatively).”
“Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
When all else fails, look to the wisdom of a chunk of foam with Frank Oz’s hand up its butt. 
Two suggestions which work for me:
- Walk.
- Do something which you hate to do, but which needs to be done. Since you’re already in a bad mood, at least you won’t be put in a bad mood when you do it. For me, this means cleaning. YMMV
Thank you for this! I appreciate how you recognize the lack of self esteem, and the reminder not to be so hard on myself. That is nice, and I also really appreciate that you point out that it’s not exactly a choice to feel angry like this. How you word it is very logical and fair - “It takes a lot to piss me off, but this isn’t a conscious choice. It’s just how I am. That’s how it is for most people who don’t ever lose their temper, I think.”
This is really smart!! Thank you. I do think that it is my habit to delegate the responsibility of the anger to an external source, when in reality it is myself getting worked up over something external. And that is very true that sometimes I find things very upsetting, and other times the same things less annoying. I haven’t even given that much thought or noticed it really, but it is definitely true! Maybe this is part of my cognitive approach that I will have to force myself to remember to do. Though I didn’t choose to be habitually angry and upset about minor things, I think it is something that I can learn to control.
I also like this! I have actually tried #2 as well - which was also cleaning, lol! But it ended up just being me clanging and splashing at the sink so I gave up and went to throw my face in a pillow and sob as normal.