When there is a computer problem I can’t solve, I might get angry with anyone who wants to talk about anything else. For my peace and sanity, my computers can’t have any problems.
Also, no one is going to find me pleasant for about 10 minutes after I wake up.
When I am hungry, watch out.
I also hate computer problems, or problems with any machine for that matter. Machines are supposed to work, dammit.
Traffic. I am normally a calm, rational human being but put me in a traffic jam, or worse, a temporary parking space (like the pick-up lane at the airport) and I turn into a live wire. I can’t deal with it. I can’t explain why. It starts out as complete and total panic and ends up with fantasies of property destruction and lots of cursing.
Also, bigotry, especially of the sexual orientation variety. Nothing will get you on my shit list faster than your reprehensible prejudices, and unlike the other million irritating things I keep my mouth shut about, I will tell you to your face that I think you are acting like an ignorant dumbfuck.
The absolute worst: Ambush me with something Accusatory, Stupid, Patently False and Insulting the very minute I walk in the door at work.
Second: Don’t listen to what I’m saying, keep right on yelling at me about something.
Someone trying to bug me if I’m doing some kind of intricate cooking that requires constant attention/movement. Trying to ask me where you left your keys when I’m busy over a hot wok will get your head bitten clean off, thrown into the wok to get a nice sear and glazed with hoisin sauce.
Ask me a question. Fail to listen. Ask me the same question. Again fail to listen. Ask me the same question!!!
I can bury it though. When one of my subordinates asked me the same 3 questions (well, tiny variations on the same theme) 15 times apiece every single day for the past two weeks - yes, after the first week, I started keeping track whilst trying to think of something I could say that might penetrate her thick skull - I usually avoided even getting snippy with her. I did not ask her if her mother drank heavily while pregnant, or if she herself had a substance abuse problem, even though I really wanted to. How can you ask the same three questions 150 times each and never figure out what the answer is on your own?!
When my daughter was 2 and she woke me up in the middle of the night, twice, because she didn’t like her bed anymore, and then the next day on half a night’s sleep when I told her to eat her dinner and she dumped it on the floor.
I didn’t touch her but I may have banged my fist on the table or something. The combination of an obstinate toddler and sleep deprivation (and there is a correlation between those two) caused me to lose my temper the very few times I have ever done so in my life.
If you catch me in an angry outburst, you can assume the following :
1) You're
a)my girlfriend
b) an ex
AND 2) I’m so fed up with your antics (rightly or wrongly) that I
a) am seriously considering splitting
b) would rather not hear about you for some timePretty much any/all situations. I have “problems”…
Throw something at me. I don’t care if it’s something I asked for a minute ago, I don’t care if it’s a stuffed animal, I don’t care if you dropped it, but if an unexpected projectile comes at/near me, no matter how innocuous, I have to work very hard to restrain myself from attacking you. I have no idea why this is.
As far as being snippy, it’s mostly extreme fatigue that gets me.
I get angry when I’m driving behind anyone going less than 5MPH over the speed limit. That’s probably how I’m going to die - a heart attack or a stroke* while screaming at someone who can’t even hear me because they’re doing 25MPH in a 35 zone.
*The first of several strokes that eventually killed my grandpa happened when he was yelling at another driver over a fender bender. I guess it runs in the family.
Two things make me angry to the point of a “Loud” outburst… (I just am not wired for violence)…
Abuse or mistreatment of children, or otherwise “helpless” people in my presense. I WILL Take action, HAVE Taken action and have followed up. (Once saw a person slapping a chiold, HARD… walked up to her and YELLED “STOP IT!, what ever she did its not the way to handle it, if you keep doing it, I will call the cops!” (This event did result in police being called… the mom looked me square in the eye, and methodically slapped the child. So I called the cops, she was charged with abuse and I went to court as a witness.
This is a quirky thing. My exwife used to stack things in closets, cupboards and the frdge so that they tended to avalance out when the door was opened. I would invariably yell “DAMMIT!” as I reached for the mop, broom, etc…
Other than those two things, I am a ray of pleasant sunshine, mood wise…
FML
You are my twin.
Lack of food or ext ream lack of sleep. I get very snippy.
Also seeing someone else insulted or hurt. Insult me or hit me and, unless its unexpected, I’m going to keep my temper, but do it to someone else and my fuse just goes.
Anne.
I’m normally really easygoing. But when Anne shows up in the office, I get all sorts of snippy. She storms in like a fucking hurricane, then sticks around and jabbers on like a goddam maniac about the most mundane shit one can possibly think of. She gets under my skin and she knows it, and she purposely tries to do it. She’s regarded as some sort of business genius, but she’s really a dumb fuck.
That was bad enough when she wasn’t my boss. Now that she is, things have gotten far worse.
When she asks what I’m working on, I try to be as vague as possible. Even then, no matter what I say, she’ll find some fault with it, then call a meeting, then force me to change what I’m doing in the worst possible way.
Yesterday she admitted that she thrives on chaos. No shit. She creates it wherever she goes.
I make no bones about the fact that I dislike her. That seems to amuse her.
Garr! She was just in as I was typing this. She came in to announce that she would be back in later. Then she went off on some diatribe about how much garlic she ate last night. That went on for ten minutes.
Someone get me a gun.
Oh, yeah, there is one other thing. People who speed on my neighborhood street where the limit is 25 and I can’t get out of my street, because if I start to pull out and someone speeding just then comes into view there isn’t enough space to get out. So I hope you don’t split a vein if you’re following me in my own neighborhood and I’m doing the speed limit. 
Noise. If there’s a lot of hullabaloo going on around me, the fuse on my temper shortens right up.
You realize this means you’re destined to marry her, right?
Unless there’s a small possibility that you didn’t accidentally stumble into a romantic comedy film.
You appear to be struggling with that gun. Here, let me help you with it. 