Yes sir, life was harder when I was a young’n…
Why, we had to sleep thiry seven people in our house! Twelve kids to a bed stacked like chordwood, eight undernieth (not to mention the three in the cupboard). Poor Mum and Dad sharing a room with Gandma and Pa --both with tuberculosis!!
We were so poor that my Aunt polly had to sleep standing upright in the umbrella holder!
And we were grateful to have it!
Tough?? you call that tough??
Why when I was a lad we used to dream about an umbrella holder to sleep standing up in… just for one night…
It was our idea of 'eaven!
We din’t even have a bed for the 83 of us. Just a used shoe box with some old cow dung as a matress.
And we were proud of it!
I used to live in a paper bag in a septic tank!
I remember a Japanese-American comic who had the ultimate. Her father had survived Hiroshima. She said his topper was:
“When I was your age, they dropped an atom bomb on us.”
How do you top that?
When I was young they dropped two atom bombs on us?
just a try…
And so was my dick.
Two Atom Bombs!?! Luxury! We’d he GLAD to have just one to do us in!
Why, when I was a lad my whole neighborhood got a letter from the government telling all six thousand of us to form a giant human pyramid on top of one burning gasoline soaked matress so’s we’d be finished off! And we did it! We were patriotic beck then! Not like your long-haired free-love sandal-wearing hooligans of today!
We used to be so poor we couldnt afford to buy bread.
So at breakfast we had to spread the jam and butter on the News Gazette!!
W.A.
Chief, I’m sure the ladies are sad to hear you’re getting soft in your old age…
Hey! You think you cranks had it hard?
When I was a kid I had to live in…
MARYLAND!!!
You lot had it soooo easy.
When I was a wee sprite, we didn’t have the Straight Dope! We had to put up with ignorance to the right, ignorance to the left. If someone tried to convince us that bumps on headlights were an Illuminati plot, we had to believe them.
And you and your internet. Psshaw! When I was young, we didn’t have the internet, we had to masturbate to magazines!
Kids these days…
so you had the news gazette???
When I was “young” we had to use telepathy to find out what was going on in the world… 
We were so poor that we couldn’t afford laxatives - so we just sat ourselves on the bog and told horror stories.
The only clothes I had was a school cap so that I could look out of the window.
We used to get letters from Oxfam begging us to take money.
We got blacklisted by the gypsy woman selling clothes pegs.
I had to borrow next doors roast beef joint to make some gravy from.
Used to go around the neighborhood asking ‘Have you got a coat to sew onto this button ?’
The garbage man used to leave us rubbish.
We drilled holes in all the spoons so that soup would last longer.
We used a large pebble instead of a bar of soap, only ever needed one.
I was 24 before I found out that bedsheets didn’t have newsprint on them.
I was 25 when I realised that the piggy bank my dad told me to put my pocket money in was in fact the electricity meter.
Bah! You had it easy!
I had to grow up in SURLYLAND!!!
Ah! A Baltimore native, no doubt!
Back in my youth our mice had balls! You’d be moving your cursor along and then some piece of lint would make the whole thing skip over what you wanted to click on. Now days they got them fancy laser mice. You can use your cat as a mouse pad and track as smooth as a bald man out of Rogain.
I’m not really in the running here am I?
well it only has one… but it sounded better that way
Why when I was a wee lad we couldn’t sleep! Sleep was a luxury for the RICH. We had to work 23 hours a day just to keep the baby fed, and what with the three hour walk (on our HANDS, mind you) back and forth to the to the coal mines where we had good jobs as pick axes (this weren’t a job for the weak, mind you), that hardly left time in the day to BLINK. That’s all the rest we got, a BLINK, then it was off to the mines again for more banging of our heads against the stone. You kids these days, don’t know the MEANIN’ of work!