Light Relief

In My Humble Opinion
1

This from ‘The Times’ yesterday:

‘David Pithers, 57, was arrested after a man and his daughter saw him with his trousers down simulating sex with a lamppost. Llanelli magistrates gave the unemployed bachelor, of Pontyberem, South Wales, a conditional discharge after admitting causing distress.’

Sounds as though Mr. Pithers got relief from the magistrates as well, but that’s not the point.

The lampposts of the world need our protection from distress, whilst at the same time remaining accessible to dogs requiring toilet facilities.

I have been asked by the local council to come up with suggestions, in my role as Relief Consultant For Lighting Problems, to achieve the above objectives.

Can anyone help me in my task?

2

Well, if you ask me, I think that lamppost was asking for it. What was it thinking standing all alone on the street corner in that area and at that time of night? That lamppost is a tramp.

3

Not so. The incident occurred during daylight hours when the Lamppost was not ‘working’.

I don’t know what the system is elsewhere in the world but in the UK unless your light is on you are not open for business.

4

Was the lamp on the lamppost red-tinted?