Weekends bring a self-imposed ban,
It’s part of my overall plan,
So glad to retrieve,
and give a reprieve,
I’m doing the best that I can.
There once was a young lady of Charlotte
who had dreams of becoming a harlot.
But when she discovered
she must be uncovered
her whole body turned three shades of scarlet.
Once a lass rode a train out of London.
Upon finding her stays were undone
cried "Such freedom! In Dorsett
I’ll unlace my corset!
And by Bristol her bustle was gone.
There once was a significant other
who with his silly teasing did bother
everyone in the house:
kids, pets and quasi-spouse
till his ticklish spot they did discover.
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There was a young woman so striking,
Her adornment made her a Viking,
She said, “we competed,
and are still undefeated”,
Her sentiment is to my liking.
(Hi Spider!!!)
Hi Styler, I started to worry
when this weekend none were in a hurry
to post at this thread
(I feared it was almost dead)
but on Monday now back we all scurry.
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Hey Spider don’t worry your head,
This thread is nowhere near dead,
With people like us,
this thread is joyous,
In limericks our thoughts are all said.
I hope you don’t think I’m some guy
Who only posts rhymes on the fly.
It is not some odd quirk
That I just post from work
For no home computer have I.
I do my best not to prejudge,
And I never shelter a grudge,
When we are away,
the thread will decay,
So it helps to give it a nudge.
There was a cheesehead who liked dopin.’
On these boards he was seen to be mopin.’
Cuz the rhymes that he scans
Are typed by Vikes fans
And the Pack don’t look good (but here’s hopin’)
The Packer’s of old are no more,
In fact, the Pack is a bore,
The defense it sucks,
(they sure aint the Bucs),
Why even the Falcons can score!
Like Bottle of Smoke I am working,
or to be more precise, I am shirking.
There’s nothing to do,
so I’ll post again, too:
here’s to more rhymes and more smirking.
The Pack’s defense is not that which reeks.
They’ve allowed just six points in two weeks!
Problem is, I attest
Favre still thinks he’s the best
But sometimes his head’s stuck 'tween his cheeks.
Hey vix – shirking I just can’t resist.
I’ve got numbers to crunch, sales to list.
But instead I post rhymes
On my company’s time
If my boss finds out, he’ll be quite pissed.
Yeah, same here…
Though editing earns me my pay,
the most challenging thing in my day
is reading these Boards
and thinking up words
to cast gleefully into the fray.
A boss that is pissed aint unique,
It won’t make the news of the week,
They rant and they rave,
then tell all that they gave,
At the office, the irate pipsqueack.
A Nympho in North Carolina
placed fiddle strings 'cross her vagina
with the proper sized cocks,
what was sex became Bach’s
Toccata and Fugue in D Minor
The spider no longer need dread
the impending demise of this thread.
With new players infused
and old players enthused,
toward page five it is surging ahead.
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(this is my first attempt - so please be kind)
I had an email pal with “Style”
Who didn’t write to me for a while
Has he left me for “Spider”?
Another rhyme writer
It’s okay, they both make me smile
I’m showing the signs of relief,
And my fading feelings of grief,
Are simply because,
the spider’s guffaws,
Were not swept away by a thief.
(Sorry spider – not many good rhymes for “because”!)