Bored on a wet Saturday
I was quickly sucked into the fray
With minimal urgin’
This poor SpoilerVirgin
Was rhyming the weekend away.
I hope that my verse will suffice
I’m afraid it contains little spice
Though it’s true that a limerick
Should be sexy or sick
I find my rhymes are usually nice
Please pardon this sudden intrusion
I assure you I have no illusion
Of writing lines as worthwhile
As those of Spider or Style
I’m sure you’ve reached a matching conclusion
The mad hatter came to a party
And threatened to get rather farty
So sad for him
For tucked under his brim
Was a match. Guess he wasn’t so smartie
The SDMB is the ticket
For knowledge and fun you can’t lick it
Each thread carries a label
Please read, if you’re able
And if you don’t like the topic, don’t click it!
We’re so glad you stopped in to play!
We’re delighted and hope you will stay!
your rhymings are welcome
wherever you hail from
your verse makes a pleasing display.
Now Spoiler joins sili and Styler
and Spiritus Mundi and Spider
Such alliteration
all in one location
makes this thread considerably brighter.
Ms. Muffet, who dined seated so quaintly
on her tuffet began to feel faintly
When spider, aghast
informed the poor lass
of the fat content found in those dainties.
Jen estis fraulin’ de Berlino
Kiu estis nur duonfraulino
Char unu duonon
La lastan sezonon
Shi stulte postlasis en kino.
(Trans:
There was a maiden of Berlin
Who was only half a maiden
Because the other half
Last season
She stupidly left in a cinema.)
A Crusader’s wife slipped from the garrison
And had an affair with a Saracen.
She was not oversexed
Or jealous or vexed;
She just wanted to make a comparison.
That matt-mcl has returned
and more of my respect he has earned
his offerings lymerical
are never inimical.
They’re often hysterical, I’ve learned.
Styler must be cleaning his fish
but we miss him and I fondly wish
that he would regale us
with big fishy tales
(but none about cleaning them, ISH!)
The news is that Hippie is back
although he may not be unpacked
his monstous creation
has caused consternation
because of him, my brain I wrack.
The rhythm’s burned into my brain.
Sad to say, it is firmly ingrained.
I can’t kick the habit
it’s making me rabid!
How much longer will I stand the strain?
An anonymous program I need
if ever I am to succeed
to regain my ambition
it must be my decision,
to stop, this thread not to feed.
But alas, my character’s weak;
the outlook’s exceedingly bleak.
So I am resigned
to keep typing these lines;
I’m a blithering limerick freak!
To the members here at the Straight Dope
I’ve enjoyed it so much here and hope
that this one day vacation
brings you all relaxation
Happy Labor Day, all of you folks!
A day off from work is at hand,
This day, observed all 'cross the land,
For Labor and Aid,
is due a parade,
Lead by a trombone filled band!
A doper has shown his offend,
Of limericks publsihed with ‘SEND’,
Though Postal he’s not,
he’s also not smart,
For clearly, SEND is the trend.
(BTW, RE: Spider’s disclaimer: I’ve read Charlotte’s Web – care to try again?)
Spider Woman requested a program
Which to limericks would let her say, “No, Ma’am!”
But I’m caught just as badly
So I must admit sadly
That my only response can be, “Oh, damn!”
Now I see my language has grown worse
Though my cursing is certainly terse
At least it’s still fit
To be here, not the Pit
And it actually rhymes with my verse
Hey Styler, to hear from you’s nice
you’re versing is bright and concise.
I hope when I pressed send to
I did not offend you
if so I hope {{sorry}} will suffice.*
Now poor SpoilerVirgin is trapped
and it’s clear to see she has the knack
of this rhythmic scheme.
But now it would seem
a verse virus she did contract.
[*did Charlotte eat fish? I can’t remember.]
Where are you TN*hippie, you cad!
While you’ve been away from your pad
lots of folks have come calling.
This thread is now sprawling
It may be much more than a fad.
And now that your sojurn adjourned
you have finally returned
to the boards, but not here
so let me make this clear
there is nothing like a Spider, scorned.
------:mad:
----////\\
What a weekend. Nice to be back though…
There once was a limerick thread
Which was sure to get us out of bed
And cause us to write
With all our might
Boy, I’m glad the old thing isn’t dead
There once was a man from Japan
Who held twelve ginsu knives in one hand
‘It’s quicker than the eye’
Our juggler would cry
Bu that’s more ginsu than he could stand
There once was a lad from Down Under
Who liked making love while it thundered
For with each Lighting Bolt
He performed one more jolt
And what would result was no blunder
Now folks, please don’t get me wrong
I delight in this primitive song
My brief hesitation
Was from observation
That this thread is now 4 pages long!
Well look who appeared in full glory
The Hippie who started this story
I’m glad you took time
Now get busy and rhyme
IF YOU DON’T WE’LL MAKE SURE YOU’LL BE SORRY!! 
There once was a swingin’ rackoon
Who ate nights and slept afternoons
He always liked dates
With other koon’s mates
And he’ll likely start on possoms soon
This thread, for a while, was the best,
(And Spider should count herself blessed).
Now don’t get me wrong,
But it’s FOUR PAGES LONG!!!
Perhaps you should give it a rest.
Four pages of limericks, they said.
Isn’t it time for this trend to be dead.
Until one look at the archives
Revelas how many more lives
Would be ruined by a new Phaedrus thread.
A poet from Cambridge once claimed
To know the ultimate verse form by name
'Twas not the sonnet
Nor the haiku, doggone it
'Twas the limerick that gave Shakespeare his fame.
A word about Spiritus Mundi;
We know he is far from a Fundie,
Were it not for the might,
Of those who see the true light,
Perhaps he’d resemble Ted Bundy.