I am a descendant of Joseph of Arimathea.
Cite? 
Welcome to the Straight Dope Message Boards, natassia. I confess to being a little confused. This forum is devoted to comments on Cecil’s columns, so I assume you’re referring to this one: What is the Holy Grail? - The Straight Dope ?
There’s a pretty good chance that so is everyone else on the planet.
I am a decendent of Joseph of Arimathea’s father.
So there.
Isn’t Joseph of A a fictional character? … I’m related to D’Artagnon, 43rd cousin once removed. Well, on a more serious note, I’m descended from Jacob’s son Levi and my wife is descended from Moses’ brother Aaron.
I am Spartacus !!
What the hell is a grail, anyway? Are there some around that aren’t holy? Where do you find those? What do you do with them?
A grail is a fishplate.
Nonsense: they would have served lamb at the Last Supper, not fish.
Cannibalism?
Que?
Apparently nobody knows. They’re whatever you want them to be.
It’s “the Holy Thingy”.
No, this is. In fact it’s holier.
Cheesus of Nazareth?
Matthew 26:26-28
They didn’t have time to go to Williams-Sonoma to get a tagine.
Neither one is a fictional character, although, like Cyrano de Bergerac, they have fictional versions who are more famous than they are.