LinkedIn and people you dislike

In My Humble Opinion
1

In the level of ‘issues I face’, I realize this is such a first world problem I’m almost embarrassed to ask about it. But the Dope often has good insight and experience that I don’t, so I’m swallowing my pride about minor stuff and asking anyway.

A few months ago, I got on LinkedIn. I’m still not really sure why - I’m not looking for a new job, and I use Facebook for most of my social networking needs anyway. I think one too many people recommended I join, so I did.

A couple of days ago, my adviser from grad school requested a connection with me.

The backstory is that I really dislike the man. He’s selfish, not as smart as he thinks he is, doesn’t give a flip about his students other than to use them as pawns in professor politics, and generally just a snob. (I know, like 90% of the other professors out there, but he in particular is egregious). I was all gung-ho about doing research, and then after agreeing to be my adviser he wouldn’t give me the time of day, refused to help no matter what, and pretty much only talked to me if he thought I was going to help him found yet another startup*. After I said I wasn’t interested, our interaction became limited to the required signatures I needed to graduate. I got my MS in 2009 and we haven’t talked since, much to my satisfaction.

Anyway, he’s a whore for connections, figuring that if he just makes the right connections one day he’ll strike it big and validate… whatever it is he needs validating. So he gave me a connection request. I haven’t done anything with it and therein lies my question.

I don’t see any utility in connecting with someone I dislike, have a low opinion of, and never want to work with again. That being said, I dislike burning bridges in general and don’t like pissing someone off unnecessarily. My wife’s take on this is “It’s freaking LinkedIn, nobody cares, just accept and forget about it”. Of course, this is the same woman who got a “do you know this person” from LinkedIn and got pissed because it’s her ex-best-friend and she didn’t want the reminder that he existed. (I pointed out that you did know the person but did not receive the praise for my insight that clearly deserved :wink: )

Anyway, I realize this is not a big deal, but do the teeming masses think I should not accept, accept anyway, ignore it, or do you just want to berate me for making a mountain out of a molehill (and then tell me what you would do anyway :D)?
*Apparently, his graduating class for his PhD included people much more successful than he is, and he can’t stand the thought that he isn’t as good as someone else. He also read that 9 out of 10 startups fail. So his solution is to start about 10 companies and figure one of them will hit it big and he can rub that in his colleagues faces. When I was his student, he was working on startup #4. Startups 1-3 petered along on VC funding but I don’t think they ever made a profit. #4 never made it to VC funding. (There may be more I don’t know about). When I pointed out I was in grad school because I wanted to do research, and not care about marketing strategies, color schemes for websites, or utilizing social media to increase pageviews, he basically started ignoring anything I had to say.

2

You’ve put way too much thought into this. Decline and move on.

3

Is there a way to de-freind someone on your Linked -in list? I wanted to do this as well. I added my ex, and now think that wasn’t a good idea.

4

You should only accept if you think the link might be beneficial to* you.* Don’t accept just for the sake of not pissing him off.

I’ll generally accept connection requests even from people I don’t know if they are at least vaguely in the same field(s). In most cases I’m more prominent in the field than those that request connections, but hey, it doesn’t cost me anything. I ignore requests from people when I can’t figure out why they might want to connect to me.

5

Or accept and move on.

Then again, while I’m on it, I never use it for anything.

6

I’ll take option “D,” please! :wink:

LinkedIn is all about establishing connections and getting recommendations and endorsements (obviously, it’s a two-way street and you need to give them to get them). There is absolutely no reason to connect with someone you wouldn’t want to endorse and who isn’t likely to endorse you – especially if you don’t like that person.

Also, if you sign up for LinkedIn when you’re looking for a job, it’s too late. You need that big live CV on there filled with contacts and endorsements the day you start job hunting.

Yes, indeed there is. Go to “Connections” on the “Contacts” menu. When your list of contacts appears, you’ll see “Remove Connections” on the far right of the new menu bar. Click that and you’ll get a list of all of your connections with checkboxes next to each. Check your ex and confirm.

7

[quote=“Gary “Wombat” Robson, post:6, topic:654647”]

I’ll take option “D,” please! :wink:
[/QUOTE]

Yea, Yea, I figured :slight_smile:

I ended up declining, if anyone cares. I appreciate the input.

8

I don’t think I’m painting with too broad a brush when I say nobody in the entire world has ever used LinkedIn for something meaningful or productive to their professional or personal life.

9

You are. I can’t comment on personal, because I don’t see LinkedIn as a social networking site. But it can be extremely useful as a professional networking site. I have made productive connections to professionals in my field at other companies. I have been recruited by headhunters seeking my specific skills. I have passed messages between my network connections. I have helped people in my network find jobs that I learned about through other connections. And I have stayed in touch with past colleagues that I otherwise would not have.

That said, I also don’t generally tout the value of LinkedIn, which in the grand scheme, is marginal at best. But I can personally confirm that your brush is way too broad.

yellowjacketcoder. as a fellow Yellow Jacket (though a few decades older), I believe you made the right decision. For me, I fall closer to Gary “Wombat” Robson than Colibri, in that I only accept invites from people 1) I know, 2) I respect, and 3) I would be willing to recommend/endorse personally.