Listen Brain, If You Send Me an Earworm, at least Know the Damn Song

Look Brain, you don’t know the song Flow Gently, Sweet Afton. I think we heard part of it while watching Pride and Prejudice something like twenty years ago. You know the first line, and maybe half of the second. It should be obvious that this song is unacceptable as an earworm. For crying out loud, I had to google the song because you didn’t know if the word was Acton or Afton.

But still, today on the bus, all I heard was “Flow gently, sweet Afton, among thy green brays…Flow gently, sweet Acton, something something dah daaaahh…” Then, again “Flow gently, sweet Afton…” One and a half lines over and over and over and over and over… I was ready to strangle myself with my facemask.

Might I suggest, Brain, you could have played Rosin the Beau instead? A rollicking tune and at least you know all the fucking words.

Honestly, sometimes I think I could replace you with a tuna sandwich.

Mmmmmmmmmm… tuna.

If you can remember even fragmentary lyrics Lyrster works pretty well. Putting in i will follow him came up with the Little Peggy March song I was thinking of as well as a lot of gospel songs and… the BeeGees?

Instrumentals I got nuthin’

I’ve dealt with this my whole life because my hearing loss often “mutes” the lyrics to a song as I hear it. When smartphones developed the ability to identify songs by sound I had a brief renaissance of learning the names to so many songs I had heard over the years but could never identify 'cause I knew neither their titles nor their lyrics.

I had that today with Riders on the Storm.

It’s even worse when it’s just the melody. If I know what song it is, I can look it up and find the lyrics or listen to the whole thing. But just a tune… nothing to go on.

I’ve had one in my head for the past couple days that I can’t place. I think it was a joke song of some sort from a TV show (maaaaaaaybe Whose Line Is It Anyway but I’m far from certain) and all I’ve got is “MoNEEEEETTE” and NOTHING ELSE. So it’s an earworm of a single word. On repeat. Not enough to Google, especially given that Monette Moore was a singer, so any variation on “Monette song” brings up her stuff and not a random one-time joke on some TV show somewhere at some point.

It’s driving me bananas.

Speaking of unidentifiable tunes, if anyone knows this one, please let me know.

Google cannot identify it (best it did was a 7% match).

"Her name was Lola, she was a Showgirl… la lalala Yellow feathers… ya ya "

When this happens to me, especially with unidentifiable songs, I find another song that I know well that is also an earworm and start playing it. On my computer/phone if I have them available and I can listen to them without disturbing others, in my head otherwise.

I’ve found the Sly Bastard Vs. Effcee version of 7 Nation Army (huh, the video of this I really liked isn’t on youtube anymore) to be excellent for this, and now I’m experimenting with Halestorm’s I Miss the Misery.