Listen to me, would you? Sheesh!

The BBQ Pit
21

Hell! They can’t even get the left click, um right.
You tell them to click once and then you hear:
clickety clickety clickety clickety.

What are you doing? Just click once.
Oh…OK clickety clickety clickety clickety

I SO want to yell at them but I can’t so instead I take it out on my friends when they call me for help.

OK, go to the D drive.
uh C?
NO, D AS IN STUPID!!!
They know my pain and let me vent so it’s OK. :smiley:

22

Wolfman’s easy steps to getting users to listen.

  1. Become ugly and scary. Coming in hungover with 2 hours of sleep, blood shoteyes that glow, the same dirty clothes as the day before, and matted hair, day after day are an easy way to accomplish this.
  2. Yell obsenities, sigh, sneer, groan, whenever a potential idiot comes into hearing range.
  3. Whenever fixing a computer in front of someone mention that if one more fucking thing goes wrong you are going to start throwing things/people out of windows.
  4. Have a generally disagreeable attitude, with a hint of being on the edge. Never show any kind of smile, unless it is to laugh about something an idiot user did.
  5. Spread rumors that you delete people’s personal files, or send them to the company president if they piss you off.

Within a few short weeks people will hate asking you for help so much that they listen to every word like you’re god, out of fear that if they miss something they may have to come back. And, the idiots will want to avoid you so much that they may actually(gasp) read the email that came out a week ago explaining exactly how to do it.

23

That’s me wolf!! I like to flip people off at random also! Although I dont believe it was a conscious effort on my part…

24

There’s a few good tech horror stories here:
http://www.techtales.com

25

Oof, am I lucky. I only have to support one department, they’re good learners and they have great respect for me. When they come to my cube with a problem, they bow down and say “Oh Great Myron…” and then we laugh.

It’d be hard to have no choice but to support a bunch of surly clueless brain-donors. It’s those who think they’re so clever, that they only listen a little and then “That’s enough, I can fix it from here” that are the worst.

Speaking of surly and clueless, it took me a long time to be able to say no to those friends and family who want free support. The first to go was my f-i-l.

FIL: My spreadsheet file keeps locking up, the file says it’s taking up a huge space when I only have these few columns.
Me: It looks like you’ve set formatting in a lot of empty cells, then the file includes those. You need to reset that.
FIL: (Before I can show him how) Oh you mean like this? (Selects entire spreadsheet, formats the whole thing to “GENERAL”, file locks up fatally)
FIL: Later, behind my back, “I don’t know, that Myron doesn’t seem to know that much about computers!”

Aaaargh.