Listen to me, would you? Sheesh!

The BBQ Pit
1

“I can’t get my printer to install.” – client’s employee calls me up

“Well, tell me what have you done?” – me

“I went through ‘printers’ and it can’t find what it’s looking for on the D drive, where the CD ROM is.” – ce

“Close that out and double click on ‘My Computer’. Now double click on the D drive.” – me

“All I see is Desktop, A drive, there’s nothing in the A drive…” – ce

“No, double click on the D drive, as in dog, and tell me if you see a setup file.” – me

“It looks like the C drive, there’s ‘Program files’ and stuff.” – ce

“No, double click on the D drive.” – me

“I still don’t see anything there.” – ce

“Tell me exactly what you see.”

random ramblings from ce because he’s still on the C drive.

“No, now listen to me. Close out everything, open up ‘My Computer’.” Double click on the D drive, as in dog." – me, very curtly because I know he wasn’t listening, he sat there and was blindly clicking around in My Computer.

“Oh, okay.” – ce

“Tell me if you see a setup file.” – me

“Yes, I do.” – ce

“Okay, now run setup for your printer there.” – me

… conversation ends.

Okay what part of D don’t you understand? I enunciate my D very differently than A and C nimrod!!! The problem is, you call me up asking for help interupting my move into my home office and you don’t pause long enough to follow my instructions. If you thought you had it under control and wanted to blindly click around your computer the why the fuck did you waste my time?

I am getting very tired of lame ass people that can’t follow instructions when they call me up for a tech support call. I don’t get paid for these calls and if they aren’t going to listen I will refuse to help them any more.

If memory serves me correctly, the printer involved has it listed as to how to set up the printer via the CD ROM on the outside of the CD case.

It’s simple really, read the instructions, I repeat, read the instructions. Then if you have problems you can call me but don’t be a dork and ignore the instructions then call me up and ignore my instructions or I will be a snotty little bitch on the phone.

2

techie,
I know you’ll get flamed by technophobes whining “If you don’t want to help, don’t work in that field! blah, blah, blah”.

I for one am with ya ALL the way. I frequently say “Stop. Listen to me. Pay attention. If you don’t follow my directions, I can’t help you”. This usually snaps 'em to attention and moves them in the right direction. I have also been known (in situations like you describe) to say something like: “D. D drive. The one that looks like a CD. What part of this is confusing you?” (in the nicest way, of course).

Freaking thickheaded users.

Zette

3

techchick…

http://homepage.mac.com/deadtroll/

4

Zette,

If anyone gives me shit then they didn’t read my post…I don’t get paid when they call me up at home. So if anyone does give me shit, then FUCK YOU and stick your mouse up your ass because I can be bitchy about this as long as I don’t get paid for it! – thought I would get that out in the open now, a pre flame if you will.

5

Techie, I really want to go out for a beer with you sometime. You too, Zette.

I just had another encounter with my personal Stupid User From Hell ([sup]TM[/sup]). She’s 85 years old and terrified of computers. This, of course, doesn’t keep her from doing things she doesn’t understand. Sigh.

Great link, narile.

6

Hey, tc! Welcome back! Glad to see the long weekend with your family has left you in such good humor! :wink:

The ones that really piss me of are the, well, ALL OF THEM!

LISTEN, LUDDITE SWINE, IF YOU’RE NOT GOING TO LISTEN TO ME FIGURE IT OUT YOURSELVES! THE WAY TECHCKICK AND NARILE AND ZETTE AND ME AND EVERYBODY ELSE WHO PULLED THEIR HEADS OUT OF THEIR ASSES LONG ENOUGH TO LEARN HOW TO DO THEIR JOBS DID IT. AND YES! KNOWING HOW TO RUN THE EQUIPMENT IS PART OF YOUR JOB! BRING THE FUCKING MANUALS HOME AND READ THEM UNTIL YOU FALL ASLEEP! SIT AT YOUR DESK AND PRACTICE INSTEAD OF GOING TO LUNCH WITH YOUR MORONIC LITTLE FRIENDS! MAKE MENTAL PLANS TO SURVIVE IN THE 21st CENTURY WITHOUT US HAVING TO LEAD YOU BY YOUR DAINTY HANDS THE WHOLE TIME! AND DON’T CALL US AT HOME!

Sorry. It touched a nerve.

7

Can I get an AMEN??

I think I’ll cut and paste that into a company-wide e-mail :slight_smile:

Zette

8

Amen!!!
The part that gets me is that people feel free to call you up at homw, when you aren’t at work and they expect you to solve their problems. I’m at home dimbnut, how would you like it if I called YOU on the weekend and asked YOU about stuff at work. It’s not so fun now, EH? I have a life, I do stuff on weekends, if you have to wait until Monday when I’m at work TOUGH!!!
Keith

N.B. Any spelling errors are due to me being really upset when I typed this.

9

I just tell them it’s a DBU problem and go on my merry way . . .

10

Another link for you, techchick…

http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/

11

I’m assuming a DBU problem is something along the lines of a UTS error.

User
Too
Stupid

12

**techchick68[/]

Every consider screening your calls at home. This would probably save you a ton aspirins and keep your time as your time. Not to mention that it would also save you from telemarketers (let’s not get into that again), survey takers and those annoying relatives that you try not to talk to if you can help it.

I’m not technical support, but I know my way around a computer enough for my purposes. I hate people who don’t and try to act like they do (ignoring what you told them) and really screw up.

Also, I have to say that right now I am lucky to be in a company that has a good tech support staff. I’ve worked for a few companies where tech support was a joke. (In one company, the qualification seemed to be that you had to be a big honcho’s son-in-law. Sounds like an old joke but it’s true!)

13

When my new company asked me what my availability was when I’m out of the office (after hours, etc) I said “none”. I don’t carry a pager, no cell phone, nothin’. They said “Oh, OK” and that was the end of it.

This week I had a user who wanted something impossible done. When I told her it wasn’t possible she got all bent out of shape and asked the same thing 10 other ways. Finally I said “I can appreciate your frustration, and I know this means extra work for you. No matter how many different ways you ask, it still can’t be done”.

I mean HE-FUCKING-LO!

Zette

14

cleosia:

I have caller ID, call waiting ID etc…my client’s phone (I only have one client at the time, thankfully) comes over as “unavailable” because of the way their system is set up. Even so, I am on call for them 24/7 so I have to answer the phone. Oh and it doesn’t help to weed out telemarketers because they have similar phone banks.

I am second-in-command honcho’s little sister, their systems are up and running (knock on wood) like a brand new engine.

I just get tired of the idiots that call me up and don’t follow my instructions.

Luckily I have a few users that are smart enough to figure it all out. I wish there were more out there like that though!

15

And how about the ones who get “left click” and “right click” confused?

Me: “OK, now right-click on My Computer.”

Caller: [pause] “OK.”

Me: “Now, let’s click on device manager, and…”

Caller: “Uhh, I don’t see device manager.”

Me: “Look at the tabs across the top…”

Caller: “I don’t see any tabs. I see drive a, drive c…”

16

I sooo understand this frustration. All I ask is that people stop and think, THINK for a second. Please use your brain before you pick up the phone and call. Are people really this helpless??? Yes. they are. They are lazy and worthless–
Me- Hello, this is — how can I help you today.

Caller- Hello, This is — and I am having trouble logging into my system.

Me- What does your screen say right now?

Caller- Oh, there it is right on my screen (very suprised) it says to - (reads the directions out loud to me - like I didnt know).

Me- Ok… (pause). So have you tried that?

Caller- No, let me do that… (pause)

At this point this person has wasted 5 minutes of my life. They keep me prisoner on the call for another 5 minutes explaining everything they are doing until they are completely logged in. WTF? This is a call I receive 5 times a day.
This person picked up the phone and asked for directions before even READING the FUCKING screen!!! I talk to people that I am suprised can even work the phone to call me!!

Please, Please… think for a second. This is all I ask. The only enjoyment I have is making fun of these people and force them to answer their own questions to belittle them.
God help me, I am going insane… (drools)

17

techchick68 says

Well, now, I wouldn’t for a minute claim that you’re wrong. Still and all, over a phone does get slurred and difficult to understand. Perhaps you could try a phonetic alphabet? Since I often have to give support instructions over the phone, and since I have a slight speech impediment, I find that saying “C-as-in-Charlie, A-as-in-Alpha, T-as-in-Tango” is helpful.

If the person on the other end replies, “‘C’ as in what?”, then I agree, you’re dealing with the algae in the gene pool.

Semi-humorous anecdote designed to allow me to slink out of range whilst you’re giggling helplessly: A few years ago I was essentially trying to give instructions amounting to “Run the following twenty jobs with gibberish names”, over a speakerphone. I’m telling the operator, “Okay, now run C-as-in-Charlie, F-as-in-Frank, L-as-in-Larry, K-as-in, ummm…”

“Kitten”, says an analyst standing next to me.

“Thanks, Kelly. Right, K-as-in-kitten.”

(Thirty seconds later, I slap myself in the head out of sheer embarassment.)

18

I agree with you Techchick, it is really annoying when people just refuse to listen. A few of my coworkers call me up with questions and then start yammering when I am providing the answer they sought. I just love it when they ask me the same question again and then start yammering again, I hang the fuck up on them.

19

Akatsukami, no offense but if you had paid attention to my post, in my third sentence to this dope on the other line I said “No, double click on the D drive, as in dog, and tell me if you see a setup file.” – me

I took him longer to register that fact and he was NOT listening to me…

I realize that people can say C, P, Z, D, G, B and they sound similar which is why I said “as in dog”.

If he didn’t understand the instructions he should have said so.

This is a new employee and ragged on my ass for not coming in today (I am a contract employee). I politely explained to him that I am a contract employee and have another client that needs work done ASAP and will be in tomorrow. (other client as in web/graphics related stuff not network).

He could easily use a computer that is not in use for a couple of minutes (happens a lot around there) to print his stuff out. No, he still couldn’t get the damn thing to work. I sense a dolt. I usually can pick up on new employees pretty quickly. He went too far today being a whiner and an ass to me. Whiners and asses at work usually are last in my getting around to them – yes it makes them whine more but I jump on problems for those that treat me with respect. New employee or not, there is no reason to be an ass to me.

20

Oh, go ahead, techchick68, give offense. You’re absolutely right; you said it and I missed it. :frowning: Fortunately, the shock value of being wrong wore off a long time ago.