My friend’s daughter, who is totally adorable, turned four a couple weeks ago. My friend says she woke her and her husband up very early to demand presents because now she was four!!!
The next day, she woke them up again because…now she is five and wants more presents!!! Ha!
I babysat for her on Saturday night and when I arrived, she very excitedly told me that when she turns five (which I think she now understands won’t be for awhile), she will be an author.
When she dressed for bedtime, she insisted that she had to wear four pairs of pajama pants and that she always does this. I had my doubts, but it’s not destructive or anything, so I helped her put on multiple layers of pajama pants. When her parents came home, I told them about the pajama pants and they were extremely amused.
Her mom told me today that she (my friend, that is, not her daughter) wouldn’t let her wear all of the pajama pants again last night. Coincidentally, she woke up with a bit of a sniffle this morning. She said, “This is because you wouldn’t let me wear four pajama pants!” Of course.
My name is Todd. My youngest niece’s name is Rachael.
When Rachael was around two, I went to visit her and her family. My then-GF came with me. Rachael knew that she was going to be along. We got into town late at night, and went immediately to bed.
The next morning I woke up, but GF decided to sleep in until the crack of noon. Rachael greeted me, and asked “Where’s your other Todd?”
This reminds me of a convo I had with my 9YO mudgirl a couple of days ago. She said:
“I feel sorry for Obama’s kids”
I said "Why?
She said: “Because they have to wear buckets on their heads when they go to school so no one will know who they are”
I said “Where did you hear that?”
She said: “from a class-mate”
And I said: “OK, if you went to a school where Obama’s kids went, but you didn’t know who they were, but there were two kids in your school who wore buckets on their heads, what would you think??”
And she said: “Oh. Good point”.
I hope I instilled in her a skepticism that will carry into adult-hood!
My cousin Evan, when he was about four years old, met his great grandfather for the first time. Great-grandpa was your typical old dude in a nursing home, except for the fact that he’d lost half of one of his fingers when he was much younger. Evan was fascinated by it.
Afterwards, Evan and the rest of the fam (minus great-grandpa) went out to dinner. Evan told the waitress about how he’d just met great grandpa, and how he was missing part of his finger. “Oh, that’s awful!” the waitress said.
“That’s not the worst part!” Evan replied. “He can only count to nine and a half!”
I don’t remember this, but I’ve heard the story many times. When I was little, my parents asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. They added that I could be anything I want. I said, “a rabbit!”
My friend Angie is black and I used to play with her son a lot. One day he says “Hi Mark.” I got all excited “Angie, Angie, he knows my name, he knows who I am.”
She looks at me shakes her head and says “He calls every white guy Mark.”
I once asked my parents if everything was black and white when they were kids. Thinking I was referring to TV (which we were watching at the time) he said yes.
I used to be a daycare teacher. A class project one day was to make Get-Well-Soon cards for the director who was battling cancer at the time. One kid, age 5, wanted to write “Love, [Kid]” but couldn’t spell it yet. So he comes up to me and says “Mr CS, how do you make love?”
After I stopped laughing/crying, I sent him around to every other teacher to ask them. They sent him back to me, repeating the line. I finally answered “As often as possible”.*
This morning my hubby got our old flat bed scanner out of the closet to make a copy of something for our insurance company. Our son, who is 5, had never seen us use it before and asked if we always had it. Then he watched dad scan a document, and print it out.
After watching this process in fascination the dear boy said, “Dad let’s scan my butt and put it on the internet!”. Dad yelped so loud that I heard him upstairs. He asked or son where he got that idea from, thinking maybe he saw something on TV. The boy just shrugged and said, I just thought of it.
Then he asked if we could at least scan his foot!
p.s. We didn’t scan any body parts!
That reminds me of an evening last month. We live in a drafty old house and my 3yr old doesn’t tend to stay covered. She put her own pajamas on and came downstairs in lightweight springtime pajamas. I told her they wouldn’t be warm enough, and to go put warmer ones on.
I forgot to tell her to take the other ones off.
When I changed her the next morning, I peeled off the footed sleeper, to find the spring jammies underneath. Even better, under the spring jammies were a pair of red tights. I didn’t have to worry that she was too cold!
I was driving yesterday with my son who is 8 and a 5 year old in the car. We passed a truck owned by the local Big Brothers/Big Sisters charity, presumably they use it to pick up donations of clothes, toys, food or whatever from people’s houses.
The five year old saw the truck and said “Oh, I don’t like them. They come to your house and take your toys!”
Many years ago, my dentist told me his 3-year old son wanted to become a fireman, but lost interest when he found out that firemen don’t light fires, they put them out!
My little girl, age 21 months, has had problems with her tear ducts pretty much since birth. As a result, we have to give her medicine and eyedrops quite often. She’s gotten used to it, and she’s really good at taking the medicine.
A few months ago, I was sick, and coughing (which is more kid logic in itself; she says “bless you” for every noise you make, whether it be a sneeze, a cough, or just blowing your nose or clearing your throat). She heard me cough and asked, “Dada sick?” “Yes,” I said, “Dada sick.” She held up a little bottle that came with one of her baby dolls. “Eyedrops?”
To her, apparently, eyedrops are the medicine that cures everything.
I’m not sure if this one is really “kid logic”, but anyway: my wife and little girl (whose presence was specifically requested, let me point out) were invited to a wedding in another town. She doesn’t really have an “inside voice” yet, and she was talking during the ceremony, loudly enough for others to hear it. My wife tried to quiet her down by saying, “Look, everyone else is asleep, we have to be quiet.” My daughter, so I’m told, responded by standing up, facing the church, and saying, “WAKE UP!”
I’m impressed that nothing came up when he jumped on your stomach after Thanksgiving! Hats off to you.
My son also delights in jumping on my stomach. Or standing on it. I’ve gotten injured from my toddler giving me an accidental smackdown more than from anybody else in my life since I was 22.
