I guess this is a bit of a rant but certainly I don’t feel enough venom to take it to the pit.
My jazz quartet plays every Friday and Saturday at the Ritz Carlton. Big, swanky, not inexpensive hotel with a huge lobby lounge (that’s where we are) with a grand piano.
Playing in the hotel lobby is a crap shoot. Some days we get an enthusiastic listening audience who applaud for every song and watch and listen attentively and really seem to appreciate what we’re doing. Some days we get a big crowd of people just out of a conference who are talking loudly, ignoring the band and mostly look like they’d rather we shut the hell up. Usually it’s some mixture of the two and in the four hours that we’re performing the atmosphere can change depending on what’s happening in the hotel that night.
So, Saturday night at the end of the night we’ve got scenario #2 for the most part. Some conference has just let out and we’re performing to an audience who, with a few exceptions, isn’t listening. 10 minutes before the end of our last set, this somewhat drunk 40 something woman with a gaggle of similar friends comes up to me and asks if we can play “time of my life” from Dirty Dancing. I tell her no, we don’t do that one. Then she asks if she can see my song list because they want to make a request. (My list is sitting there, she can see it). Now, my song list is for me, written out in order so I can pace the show and keep things interesting. I reluctantly agree to let her see the list while we play the next tune. She takes it to the group of friends (about a dozen of them) and they confer and come back after that song is over and ask “can you play anything from the 80s?”.
We’re a jazz quartet, we’ve been playing jazz standards with a little blues and be-bop thrown in for good measure all night. Jazz standards, like stuff that was popular music back in the 30s and 40s. Think Ella Fitzgerald, Billy Holiday, Nat King Cole…that sort of stuff. Asking if we can play 80s music is like walking up to a country band and asking if they know any AC/DC. Why on earth would they think that we’d just trot out something from the 80s? I explained that we were a jazz band and did not do any pop music. She was disappointed and we only had one more song. We played Muddy Water which is a blues shuffle and the closest thing to a rock or pop song that we do (and really neither) and she and half the group left for the bar while the other half stayed and danced.
Meanwhile, the night before, there’s this cigar chomping big spender at the front table who was calling out requests. We played what he wanted. No problem. He even got up and danced with his lady. But did he put any money in the tip jar? Nope. Not one thin dime.
Last week I got some guy asking for the theme from Arthur. I told him we didn’t know it and he whipped out a 10 dollar bill and waved it in front of my face like that was actually going to put the words and melody of the song magically into my head so I could sing it. I said I was very sorry we just didn’t know that one. He put his $ back in his pocket and walked back to the bar.
I don’t really care all that much about the not tipping thing. Some days we get tips, some days not. Whatever. But it seems like if you’re going to sit right in front and shout out requests you might think to put a little money in the jar.
And what’s with requests? I can’t imagine ever requesting that a band do a song. I want to listen to what they’ve decided to play, not what I think they should play or what I’d like to hear. If I’m sitting there listening then I’m hearing what I’d like to hear. If I wasn’t then I’d leave. I wouldn’t think that it was OK to ask the band to perform according to my specifications. It seems a bit presumptuous. Am I wrong?
