I possibly would have gone to university much sooner. As it was, I waited seven years after high school before I decided I wanted to go. I spent that time just getting by in West Texas and being a general all-around bum.
On the other hand, I’d like to think that some of the experiences I had at that time and then the particular people I met and the exact experiences I had during my time in university led me out into the wide world. It’s possible my life would be radically different in a not-so-good way if I had gone to school earlier and not met the people I did. You never know. So I think I’ll stand pat.
You’re right. At least for me. Most of the things I thought up were where I screwed up with women, though I am happily married now. But if I could go back to change them I’d probably change my mind about:
Lisa: She was smokin’ hot and she asked me to marry her. What the hell was I thinking? Beth: Told me she loved me and I laughed at her because I couldn’t believe that someone like her would actually like me that much.
***Eileen: ***Again, asked if one day we could maybe get married and I blew her off.
I will admit that I had a period of my life where I treated women badly, but it was kind of in response to some of the heartbreaks I had suffered as a young man.
In the I’m not sure if I’d change it department I’d probably go back and join theAir Force or the Navy instead of the Army. I did the army thing mostly to prove what a tough guy I am…and while I’m durable, I’m pretty much one of those people that has an intesne dislike of physical exertion. What the hell was I thinking?
But then I’d probably go back further and be in college and have gone for journalism as a major. (Seriously, I used to write a lot better than you see here). I’d like to see what kind of butterfly effect any of those decisions could have.
Wow. Any one I pick could have changed so many things.
[ul]
[li]Changed high schools between soph & junior year like Mom wanted - this would have exposed me to a completely different environment[/li][li]Not gone to expensive undergrad school - I know now that I could have gotten as good an education at a less expensive school[/li][li]gone to grad school in 1997 like I initially planned instead of putting it off for years. I ended up going for the same thing, but five years later. [/li][li]taken the time to build tech skills right as the IT bubble was building in the late 90s - I was out of college at the right time that I could have done well for myself[/li][/ul]
Which do I change? Each one would have significantly affected my later steps. But then, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I can’t say that’s good or bad - but it would be different.
It’s also hard for me to pick just one. Overall the life scheme I think has been going okay, I think (hope) my darkest days as a whiney depressive are over.
I think essentially my life would have been stronger if I had confronted my social anxiety and emotional problems sooner rather than later.
I also wish I had gone to the gym while in college rather than being a fat lazy slob during the prime time to pick up chicks.
First reaction:
I’d have played different lottery numbers at the last mega millions jackpot.*
Second reaction:
I like where I am in life and don’t particularly regret not finding any specific girl, job, or lifestyle; it all worked out well enough. I suppose if I was going to change anything I’d tell my mom that her doctor is an idiot and she should have me by c-section. The rest…I could do better the second time around, but they’re called “learning experiences” for a reason.
I would choose to major in something more concrete (and hopefully with more career/earning potential for me) than English.
Barring that, I wish my husband and I hadn’t so readily accepted the fact that I was going to be the main breadwinner in our household even after having children. My husband was going to go into theatrical lighting design, which doesn’t pay a whole lot, so before we even got engaged we knew that I would be the one bringing home the bacon. And I was fine with that, even though I knew I would want to have the option to stay home after we had kids. Now, we have a son, and I would love to stay home. I just wish that we hadn’t accepted that notion as a foregone conclusion 9 years ago, and had instead focused on developing his career so that I had more flexibility in mine.
I would have skipped the whole Evangelical Christian phase when I was younger. I feel like I’ve wasted a lot of my time there.
And oh yeah, that girl who sat next to me in my Latin class, and also that other girl in a couple of my CS classes, they were totally interested. :smack:
A guy almost ran me over in his Hummer, My Beamer had stalled in the hood on a rainy night and he was doing three times the speed limit…
He went around me, but I never forgot…
I would have never started smoking. I could have saved so much money and heartache over the years. If I hadn’t been a smoker, I doubt I would have even dated the man that I married and subsequently divorced 7 years later.
I don’t think that would have made any difference whether or not my first boyfriend killed himself (several years after we broke our engagement). I doubt there is anything I could have done to prevent that as he battled his own demons.
And to the guy named Bill who sat next to me in Chem 101 in the Spring Semester of 1992 at NCSU…I gave you a ride back to your car after the last class of the semester…I totally regret getting back together with the guy mentioned in the above paragraph 2 weeks before the end of the semester, and two weeks before you made your interest in me known. I lusted for you the entire semester and didn’t think you were interested. You were so cute and so sweet to me and I knew that day would be the last day I ever saw you. Let it be known that I haven’t forgotten about you.
I guess I’d like to say I would have decided earlier on in my life to just be me, and stop trying to emulate acquaintances who seemed to be cool or popular, because looking back, that was a stupid and humiliating waste of time.
But that would mean a significantly different path and very likely a different life now. I daren’t change such a significant thing. I would visit the dentist at the first twinge of toothache, instead of putting it off and now having the choice between a root canal I can ill afford, or an inconvenient extraction. Mundane, but that’s what I’d change.
In response to some of the “Well, I wouldn’t want to undo any of the bad, or else I wouldn’t have some of the particular good things I have now”, I wouldn’t necessarily mind being a significantly different person, knowing only very different people, etc., if it meant I’d led a happier life overall. Maybe I wouldn’t be a happy X, but I’d be an even happier Y; maybe I wouldn’t have such-and-such a person who I love, but, whatever; I might well end up having someone else who I love just as much instead. And so on… Just because some good came of the bad doesn’t mean things wouldn’t have been even better if you’d never bothered with the bad to begin with.
Two stand out and I’m not sure I could choose one but If I had to the 2nd one I suppose.
A moment when my ex and I were having problems. We had agreed on counseling together and working on it for several more months, getting through Thanksgiving and Christmas before we made another assessment. She was feeling bad one day and said she didn’t want to wait. Instead of being patient and trying to encourage her to keep our agreement I got mad and we agreed to split. When I saw how much it hurt the kids I felt awful and wished to God I’d been stronger.
The 2nd was 2 1/2 years later. I’d moved to Nashville to pursue my own dreams and things were going well. I was more content than I’d been in years. My ex and I saw each other when I was back in Maine on vacation and I wound up moving back to try it again even though the little voice in my head said “Don’t Do it”
It didn’t work out and only hurt everyone all over again.
I can see it now. I’ve gone back, I’ve changed that one thing that’s always niggled at me, it sets a whole other chain of events in motion that lead to my getting run over and killed 20 or 30 years ago.
Of all the bad ‘life’ decisions I’ve made (and I’ve made PLENTY), there are none I would change because then I wouldn’t be the person I am and where I am now, and I’m really contented with my current space in the cosmological order…changing anything previously would mean that I wouldn’t be here now, and that would be a bummer.
However, I do wish that I’d bought some shares in a burgeoning stock sale that was then going for 5c per share and is now selling at $3.90…meh, life is full of missed opportunities innit?
I would have gone to Patterson Park on Tuesday night in 1997 instead of seeking the gamers – then I’d have joined a more mature and interesting group of people and most likely have made similarly better decisions through college.
And there still would have been gamers. Possibly better gamers.
:eek:
