Look...clearly, we haven't discussed The Brazilian enough

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
#1

And no, I don’t mean the instrumental piece by Genesis.

I’m talking about this new fangled Brazilian Bikini Wax that’s the rage with all the kids.

I searched and found it casually mentioned in four or five threads, but as soon as it was mentioned, it was gone without further comment.

As a swimmer and “adventurous” sort of gal, I’ve long desired to experience a ::cough:: clean sweep if you will, of my hoo ha…and this seems like the best option.

HOWEVER…it seems extraordinarily intimate if not excrutiatingly painful to have done. Do I have to go to a BDSM Dungeon to have this process performed? I love a little pain and torture as much as the next gal, but spreading your legs and having someone slather your vagina with hot wax only to yank it off seconds later seems like something you do after a nice dinner and some wine, not in the back room of a spa.

Also, how long does the Brazilian last? Will I have to go through it every other week? every month?

Who’s got the skinny on the Brazilian?

jarbaby

#2

I don’t have the answer to your question. But I have realized that I really missed out on an interesting date.

#3

Perhaps I should have offered to give The Brazillian to the woman who freaked out today when I paid her a compliment. At least she would have cause to treat me like something she found on the bottom of her shoe.

#4

Well, there went my interest in this thread.

Oh, and watch reruns of last season’s Sex and the City. Brazilians came up in the episodes when they went to LA.

#5

The Brazilian refers to completly removing all the hair in the pubic and not just the bikini line.

That being said let me offer a small bit of advice, in the name of fighting ignorance and all.

Bikini Area+ hot wax= Hire a professional.
This stuff in the wrong hands can be quite painful.

Having waxed my legs and pits on numerous occasions I decided to try to do my bikini lines. I’m sure the resulting nightmare was largely my fault probably having to do with the angle of removal and some other complicated formula of which I was totally ignorant. I read the direction and followed them to a T. I applied said hot wax to my … uhm… outer labia area, rubbed the strip over that and while holding the skin taut(no easy feat if you are doing it to yourself and are not double-jointed and are trying to hold a mirror so you can see exactly what you are doing but can’t really see cause your hands are in the way, but I digress)and I guess I didn’t have the skin taut enough and OH MY GOD THE PAIN of having all your pubic hairs yanked at the same time with enough force to bring tears to your eyes but apparently not enough force to remove them.

Ok, I thought to myself, apparently I’m doing something wrong. (YOU THINK?) So I reread the instructions and made a second attempt at removing the now cold wax;I grabbed hold and let 'er rip. YEEEEOOWWWWW I yelped and when I was able to breath again I grabbed the mirror and looked at Muffy to assess the damage. It appeared I had removed the strip but a good portion of the wax remained and was now sticking TO THE HAIRS ON THE OTHER LABIA. I literally began to cry. Then I did the only thing left to do; I called my sister up and told her it was an emergency and she had to come right away, I didn’t tell her the reason why.

Well she got there in about ten minutes and, after laughing so hard she nearly wet herself, she helped me cut the remaing wax out with scissors.

:Shudders at the memories:
:collapses sobbing and weeping:
:regains composure with much effort:

Now I use Gentle Formula Nair. It works great, lasts for about 2 weeks and is real easy. I’ve tried to forget about that whole ordeal, but Muffy never forgets…

#6

And I love the term “hoo-ha.”

#7

<Pacino> Hoo-ha! </Pacino>

I like muffy, myself. :slight_smile:

Back to the subject at, er, hand, though. Why, women? Why?

#8

Right, so you get that nice, clean, shiny porn star look, ja? I want it! I want it today!

I guess my question is…a professional WHAT? Slavemaster? I can’t imagine Emily, my friendly neighborhood eyebrow waxer wanting to closely examine my labia. Maybe she does! I’ll take her out for a drink.

And KK:

Why? I think it looks and feels sexy…plus it cuts down on drag.

Jarbaby

#9

Bikini Waxer Available. Reasonable Rates. Has own wax and buffer. White walls and wire rims extra.
Twenty-one completely inane posts and counting.

#10

wipe away a bead of sweat

Um, jarbabyj, would you mind meeting me over in the Valentine’s Day crush thread?

covers eyes and peeks through fingers

#11

oh you wolf :wink: i’m purely doing it to improve my freestyle time…

freestyle WHAT is for YOU to decide.

jarbaby

#12

WOW! If aerodynamic considerations are part of your sex life, I’d love to hear some of your stories! :wink:

#13

As I’m sure many here know and are tired of hearing, I’m a big non-fan of pubic hair. Ok frankly it grosses me out. Lately I haven’t been shaving but only because I’ve gotten lazy and I feel ugly anyway… but typically I shave the whole shebang. Front to…um…back and leg to leg…

But it’s damn annoying!!! I’ve been doing a little research on laser hair removal… but I’m open to waxing also if I can find out the scoop. (like who does it? and how much does it cost? and how long does it last?)

#14

First of all, I would strongly recommend having it done professionally the first couple of times. You will know what to expect and can learn to apply some of their techniques to self-waxing.

Once (and only when) you are ready to do this yourself, soak in a warm tub for about 30 minutes and take an aspirin. Trust me, this will help.

Work in very small areas at a time. It will take longer, but each will be a much easier, cleaner sweep- none of that leftover wax.

Once you are done, certain maintenance is imperative. Use a product specially made to avoid post-waxing ingrown hair and bumps. It usually comes in liquid form to be applied with cotton or in a lotion. Also, exfoliating daily with a washcloth or those body puff things in the shower will prevent ingrown hairs.

Practice makes perfect, and each time you do it will get much easier and hurt less. Before long, you’ll be able to give yourself a full Brazilian without even flinching.

#15

Two things here:

  1. Couldn’t you just have hopped in a moderately hot shower and melted the stuff out? and
  2. That is one helpful sister! [sub]Got pictures?[/sub][sup]
  3. Hi Opal![/sup]

Count me in on that, too…actually…

How you doin’?

#16

Wow, this is far more interesting than Genesis. Please, women, by all means, continue discussing the hygiene of your bikini area.

#17

And do I call salons asking specifically for THE BRAZILIAN? Or is that slang? I assume a lot of people don’t do it.

How about a stiff Colorado Bulldog on ice? :smiley:

[QUOTE}Practice makes perfect, and each time you do it will get much easier and hurt less. Before long, you’ll be able to give yourself a full Brazilian without even flinching. [/QUOTE]

Thanks for the advice Sea Diver…but I don’t know about ever doing it myself. I got a kitchen blow torch for christmas and my husband immediately confiscated it.

It’s no secret why I was called “Crash” in college.

As for my aerodynamic sex life…I told you guys…I’ve got a lot to offer this board…you’re just not bringing up the right topics :smiley:
jarbaby

#18

jarbabyj,
yes, ask specifically for the Brazilian- if they don’t know what you are referring to, you do not want them to do it anyway!

I forgot to mention that how long the results last varies from person to person, but on average lasts about a month. It does require upkeep and is not that cheap to get done professionally, so take that into account if you’re one to take pride in being a “low maintenance” type :smiley:

Boa sorte!

#19

tears in my eyes from laughing. And from the (sympathetically imagined) pain. Hehehehe

I love this board! You find a thread title, and you think, oh, I suppose it might be worth a look, and you end up with an hour of well-written, pithy and funny essays that give you a view of life you might never have known about. Thanks to you all for your stories.

[The thread on things that make your jaw drop open is another of these wonderful ones. Sorry I don’t know how to do the URL hi-speed connection yet so you’ll just have to look it up yourself.]

But I’m going to start a thread today asking this: Has anyone else noticed that on the whole women’s posts are more interesting than men’s? The threads that are on “women’s subjects” are more informatative and personal, it seems to me.

NOTE: do not reply here, that would be hi-jacking (correct usage?). I’ll post.

As to the subject, as a bloke I shave the relevant bits, but as a bit of a fetish thing. I have “gone round the world” but I would need a REALLY good reason to do it again (T. Cruise available for a hot date now, I hear). I am not brave enough or masochistic enough to wax.

[sub]shudder[/sub]

Nair is on sale everywhere, you know. Thanks to all of you girls/ women/ chicks/ ladies/ sheilas/ for your stories.

#20

At my local salon, they will take off as much or as little as you ask when you go in for a bikini wax (for about $25). I’ve never gone totally bare but I have significant turf to remove at any rate and it really is not that bad — faaar superior to shaving. It takes less than 15 minutes with a professional, and they do it all the time. That is to say, if they do bikini waxing at all, they probably have seen it all and wont look askance at your Brazilian plan (although, I thought Brazilian was where they left just a wee little strip in the center?). Oh, also, if you are planning this for some kind of event, make sure you have it done several days before, as you will be a bit chafed and puffy for about 24 hours after.

Does it hurt? Yes, but not for long. Is it worth it? Yes. Is it a big deal to the aesthetician? nope. It also lasts a while, but it really varies from person to person.