I put this in the Pit because I thought it possible that some responses might be Pit-rated.
That’s right Australia! Fred Phelps has said he is going to picket the "Sodom of the Pacific February 28. For details you can check his fax, but be warned. You will be torn between gagging and laughing at his idiocy.
Maybe the family wants a winter vacation, as after all, the seasons are reversed. This way, if it’s a “church related activity” the expenses might be tax-deductible!
And of course, sometimes they say they will picket a place, so it looks good at how determined they are. Then they don’t actually show up. Wish I knew an Australian Doper, so I could find out if they do make the trip.
I know all about Freddy. He pickets every artistic event or vaguely liberal speaker/comedian/anyone at KU.
He picketed the HARLEM BOYS CHOIR! The picketers were singing outside (apparently to combat that awful faggy singing inside) and a few of my UK exchange student friends started throwing money. Of course, they thought it was a joke until I showed them the website.
The university gay and lesbian alliance group built a bunch of big angel wings and held them up to block signs from our campus drag show. They also took pledges for donations. For every minute they stayed to protest, people pledged money. (like walk-a-thons where you pledge so much per mile) They stayed over an hour and the group made thousands of dollars, IIRC. The best tactic was cheering them every few minutes (they even got a standing ovation) because the longer they stayed, the more money we made.
I’m sure the Dykes on Bikes will look after him. Since the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras attracts hundreds of thousands of spectators every year I imagine we will happily remain “the Sodom of the Pacific”.
Dear Mr. Phelps,
It seems that your itinerary is focussing on Sin-dney to attend the Gay and Lesbian Mardi-Gras, but I must warn you that we have our very own Fred who has tried for years to have the celebration shut-down on moral grounds. I have to admit, though, our Fred is but a wiener when compared to your good and righteous self, and I can’t wait to see how the locals embrace you and the message you have to deliver.
When you’re done in Sydney, can you come down to Melbourne to save us from the scourge that is sodomy? We’ve got lots of those degenerates here as well, and need someone of your stature to help us convert them to the Christian Way of doing things. I’ve organised some accomodation for you in a little rural town called Daylesford so you don’t have to be subjected to the evil-doings of the city.
I can’t wait for what the gay and lesbian Mardi Gras has in stock for Mr Phelps. Promise me, Aussies, that you’ll do your best to make him feel welcome. A nice picture in the papers of him being draped with a feather boa and smothered in kisses by leather-thong-clad muscle marys will do for me.
He may get the same treatment as our Fred, Fred Niles. In 1998 the “nuns” of the Order of Perpetual Indulgence carried a platter with a giant Fred’s head down the Mardi Gras parade route.
kambuckta: Speaking as one who lives in Daylesford (near enough, at least), I feel confident that the locals could prepare an appropriate reception should Fred decide to grace us with his presence. Heh - that would be entertaining.
My mind is torn with twin images of Fred being accosted by people he can’t intimidate and Fred being accosted by various forms of fatal wildlife. Would it be improper to combine the two?
Picture the scene; Steve Irwin is hand- feeding a large croc, whilst carrying Phred under the other arm; he becomes momentarily little distracted by ecstatic cheering from the watching crowd, but thinks dismisses it. Only on exiting the pen does he notice that he is actually cradling a raw chicken under his arm and Phred is nowhere to be seen…
Hey, maybe we can arrange some gladitorial showdown between Fred Nile and Fred Phelps. Guaranteed (minimum) one dead Fred!
My plan is: we lead them into Homebush stadium, and tell each Fred that the other is the Head Fag. Each Fred gets his weapon of choice, and we charge $50 a ticket.
And if they’re not done after 20 minutes, we release the lions.
