I’m looking for humorous jokes or anecdotes about siblings.
To start. As Suzie & Sally headed out to play in the snow, their mom admonished to to share the sled. A short while later Sally came in crying that she wasn’t having any fun. When mom asked Suzie if she was sharing the sled; she said “I sure am, I get the sled down the hill, and I let Sally have it up the hill.”
OK, not great, but you get the idea.
There aren’t any.
Five-year-old Jimmy was playing with his little sister, one-year-old Jenny, in the playroom while their mother was in the kitchen. Hearing screams, she ran into the playroom and saw Jenny with a handful of Jimmy’s hair, yanking away.
She separated the two, and Jimmy was yelling “Spank her! Spank her!”
“It’s not her fault, son,” their mom said. “She doesn’t understand that it hurts when she pulls your hair.”
The mom walked back into the kitchen, but 30 seconds later she heard screams again. She ran back into the playroom to see Jenny in tears.
“What happened?” she demanded.
“Not much,” Jimmy said. “Only now she understands.”
Two men met at a pub in New York, and started talking. One asked, “Where are you from?” The other said, “I’m from Ireland.” The first said, “Really? I’M from Ireland, too! This calls for a drink.” They each downed a glass of Bushmill’s.
The first asked, “Where in Ireland are you from?” the other answered, “Killarney.” The first said, “Really? I’M From Killarney, too! This calls for another drink!” They each downed a second glass of Bushmill’s.
The first asked, “What church did you go to in Killarney?” The second said, “St. Brigid’s.” The first said, “Sure, ‘n’ I used to go to St. Brigid’s! This calls for another drink!” They downed another glass of Bushmill’s.
The first asked, “When’s your birthday?” The second said, “April 20th.” "the first said, “Sure, ‘n’ Aprill 20th is my birthday, too. That calls for another drink.” They each drank anoither glass of Bushmill’s and collapsed on the floor.
The owner heard the thud, and asked the bartender. “What happened?” The bartender shrugged and said, “Not much. The O’Malley twins are drunk again.”
Astorian’s reminded me of one–
An Irishman walks into a pub-style bar in New York and asks for 3 pints of Guinness. He then proceeds to take turns drinking from the 3 glasses. The bartender says, “they’ll be better if I get them for you one at a time fresh from the tap”. The Irishman says, “aye, but me two brothers and I had a tradition of gettin’ together once a week and havin’ a pint or two. When we all moved to different places we vowed we’d keep up the tradition in spirit”. The bartender said he thought it was a fine idea.
So sure enough, once a week the Irishman came in and ordered 3 pints at a time. This went on for a few months until, one evening, he only ordered two pints. The bartender, guessing the implication, said, “I’m very sorry for the loss of one of your brothers”. The Irishman said “what? No, it’s nothing like that. I just quit drinkin’”.
For the OP, do you want this to stay clean?
One of my favorite jokes is about someone who is NOT “your brother or sister.”
Times are changing so fast that the younger people are often more worldly than the older ones. Case in point: three brothers are walking across a farm and they see the hired hand on top of the farmer’s daughter behind the barn.
“What’s he doing to her?” cries the 17 year-old.
“Idiot! He’s making love to her,” replies the 14 year-old.
“But not very well,” observes the 10 year-old.
Reasonably clean. I have a chance to tell a ‘story’ about a couple of sisters this weekend as if it really happened to them. it’s all in fun.
That’s a pity, I’ve got one involving siblings, the family pet and an incontinent grandmother. A guy walks into this talent agent’s office…
Two young brothers are in their room getting dressed for school. The older one says, “I think we’re old enough to start swearing in front of Mom. I’m gonna say ‘hell’, you say ‘ass’. Younger brother agrees.
Mom calls, “Boys! Come down for breakfast!” The kids race downstairs. “What would you like to eat?”
Older brother screws up his courage and says, “What the hell, I’ll have some Froot Loops”. Mom is enraged. She grabs him by the collar, shoves him against the wall, and hisses, “Who do you think you’re talking to, young man?” Younger brother watches, wide-eyed.
Mom turns to the younger boy, still shaking with anger. “And what are you going to have?”
“I don’t know, but you can bet your ass it ain’t gonna be Froot Loops.”
mmm
Why did the Siamese Twins move to London?
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So the other one could drive.