This is a plea for help with homework: I’m writing a paper based around this half-remembered idea, and I have no idea to whom it should be attributed.
It goes something like this: the main conflict in everyone’s life comes when we try to reconcile who we are with who we wish to be. We all struggle to measure up to the self-image we hold. I think this might be by a psychologist. Or possibly James Thurber. Or possibly I’m thinking of James Thurber because this idea makes me think of Walter Mitty.
“The adventurer is within us, and he contests for our favor with the social man we are oblidged to be. These two sorts of life are incompatibles; one we hanker after, the other we are oblidged to.” - William Bolitho
I was able to find 4 Thurber quotes in my quote dictionary but none of them were close to your explanation. The one above I found under the heading “Conflict.” Also there was no heading for “Self Image” and no close entries under “Self.”
The Bolitho quote doesn’t ring a bell, but maybe I can use it. Yeah, I’m having a horrible time searching because I can only remember the idea, not how it was stated, much less where I read it. I’m not positive that any of the words I’ve used in my paraphrase where in the original!
Thoreau’s quote: “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation” might work. What the hell, I usually start with something I like and then try to fit it in to what I’m supposed to be writing about. Sort of ass-backwards, but it keeps me going.