Looking for the silver lining...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I bought my house almost eight years ago. This month, for the first time in all those years, I was unable to make my house payment. I was unable to make either of my house payments since I also have a second mortgage (with the same bank). Actually, this is the first time in my life (and I am not young) that I have been in the position of defaulting on a loan. It’s not a good feeling for me.

It looks like in all likelihood that my house will eventually be foreclosed. I’m hoping that we can at least last til spring or early summer when its much easier to move. Don’t want to have to do that in the middle of an Ohio winter. I say ‘we’ even though I am the sole owner of my house, because I have two roommates who will also be affected by this. If it wasn’t for the roommates, I would not have made it this long.

I called my bank two years ago when I lost my job, to see if the house loan could be modified. I did this because I was anticipating that future payments might become difficult and when I went to the bank’s webpage, it said - ‘Call us and work with us before you become delinquent! We can work this out, we want to help!’ This was a lie, because when I, in all my innocence and naivete, called to work something out before it became impossible their only response was, ‘Your payments are current? Sorry, we can’t help you if you’re not delinquent’. Swell.

Taking in roommates was the only reason that I have not had to renege on this house loan before now. But now my unemployment is gone, my savings are gone, I don’t even have a car anymore! and I can’t meet these obligations any longer.

I’ll probably still try for a loan mod (I can do that now - I’m delinquent!) but I don’t hold out a lot of hope that it will work out well. Still, you never know…

On the other hand…even if I had a lower house payment, I probably still wouldn’t be able to afford the deferred maintenance required for this house. The roof leaks and although we have done patchwork, the roof needs replaced. And the gutters and soffits with it. Last winter, the blizzard winds ripped a section of siding off the back of the house - that was replaced with some off color replacement siding. Doesn’t look good. The flooring throughout the house is terrible, carpeting is stained, worn and unfixable - it all needs replaced. The upstairs bathroom leaks into the downstairs living room anytime someone takes a shower. The landscaping is overgrown and needs to be ripped out and replaced. I don’t have grass, I have weeds and crabgrass and bare spots. I can only hope that my furnace, water heater and appliances hold out until we have to move.

So…even though I will lose my house and lose my credit, at least I will no longer have to be concerned with the upkeep! right? right? Yeah, I’m trying to make myself feel better about all this… :frowning:

And my youngest child, my baby boy, was recently deployed to Afghanistan. Dammit. FML.

2

Sending hugs and good wishes to you. I have been unemployed just once, and I was young, unencumbered and single then, and it sucked the life out of me.

Here’s hoping that you find a good job and a way out soon.

3

Yes, you are totally right! Homes are so time consuming.

Honestly, I’m so sorry that you are going through this. I have no suggestions, but some of the other Dopers have gone through this. Perhaps they will have more to offer than good wishes and thoughts.

4

There’s a program in Florida called “Florida’s Hardest Hit” to help people pay home loans that have become unemployed or underemployed. Any chance Ohio has a similar program?

5

I’m so sorry to hear this. I know a tiny bit about how you feel; a number of years ago, I was in a really bad place financially with huge medical bills and maintenance of the house was what got sacrificed. I hated knowing that a house that had been built over a hundred years before was going to ruin at my hands, but it was a necessary evil. Still, necessary or not, it stressed me out so much I still feel my anxiety rising.

And that was without true foreclosure worries.

I’m just so sorry. I hope the bank will at least work with you now and there’s some sort of solution.

Best wishes.

6

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. FWIW, this could happen to any of us.

7

I’m so sorry. And so in the same boat. (Actually, further along in the process.)
Apparently, a person can go for years without making a payment. (It was fifteen months for us…after several different options offered by our lender that we turned down, with assurances that we did want to make good, but couldn’t on those terms. We’re now paying a “modified amount,”—during a “probation period.” They don’t call it a modified loan yet; it’s not official.) Finally, after months and months of asking for a Mediation which is our legal right, ours is scheduled for next week. Will let you know the outcome. (We also have a second mortgage.)
I’ve learned that: you do not want to just “walk away” from the house. If you do, you’ll still be responsible for it. If you can’t pay anything, sit tight until they finally, officially, foreclose. Then the house becomes their responsibility.
There are several “helps” (can’t think of a better word right now) out there. You could contact your local Legal Aid, Legal Services etc. It’s free, and our pro bono lawyer deals with forecloures exclusively.
Do No Sweat It. I stressed till I couldn’t worry anymore. That’s a better place to be.
Our property also needs a lot of work. The only reason we’re trying to keep it is so our son will have something to inherit. We figure if we hang on, he can start taking care of things one by one. Otherwise we’d be packed and ready to go.
Oh, and if you’re sixty years old or older, there are even more options for you.
Don’t let it ruin your Christmas. This is our second one spent “under the gun.” We’re handling it better this year.

8

First of all, my sympathies for what you’re going through. It sounds awful and painful.

What do your roommates think of the situation? Have they been paying you rent on time?

9

I’m so sorry. You’ve gotten some good advice upthread so I’m just going to give you my best wishes. I can tell you from experience that foreclosure and bankruptcy can be a rough time, but you can, and will, recover from both. It takes time and work and a lot of soldiering through…but it sounds like you’re already doing that, and doing it well so far. Hang in there.

10

I doubt this helps much - cold comfort, and all - but there are a shitton of folks out there in this country going through the exact same thing you are. Good luck to you, and I wish I could offer something more useful or concrete than sympathy.

11

Well, I’m starting to feel less bad about defaulting on this house loan. Not because I want to lose the house but because the bank is getting on my last nerve already. They called the day before Thanksgiving to ‘check on the status’ of my loan. I advised them then that there was no money to make the payment and I would probably be looking into a loan modification. They wanted to run through my ‘financials’ right then to see if I would qualify, but I declined. They also advised me that they would be calling again to stay updated on the status. Sure, I can understand that, I guess.

I can’t say they didn’t warn me…

They have called me six times already today. The first time I told them nothing had changed since we spoke last week. The second time, I told them that nothing had changed in the hour and a half since they had already called. The third time, I told them that nothing had changed since the previous hour. The fourth time…well, you get the picture. The last two times, my roommate answered and just told them I wasn’t available. I’m just one person - if all of their reps are spending their time calling the same people repeatedly every day, that’s got to add up to a lot of unproductive man hours! Well, at least those are hours that I’m not paying for anymore! :rolleyes:

Each time they apologized after I told them that I had already spoken to them today. By the fourth call, I was beginning to doubt their sincerity…

I could understand the repeats if I was dodging their calls. But I spoke to them four times today! I’m baffled - what can they be expecting? Do they think that they are going to get lucky one time and I’ll just blurt out ‘Omigod, thank god you called when you did! A shitton of money just fell out of the sky and I was about to spend it all on hookers and blow! (Okay, maybe just blow…). Now I can just give it all to you and make the world right again!’

And I’ve only missed one payment! :eek: It might be time to unplug the phone for a while…

12

May I ask why you didn’t want to see if you qualified for a loan modification when they called you the first time?

Did you go over it with them any of the other times they called?

13

I feel for you, LOF; that must be a horrible feeling.

That said, it must be asked: Have you actually been out of work for two years? Are you physically able to work?

Best of luck to you,
mmm

14
  1. Use the answering machine.
  2. We have been in arrears for fifteen months and our lender is JUST NOW discussing a loan modification.
  3. You can ask to be assigned to one “collection” specialist, and request that all communication be done thru that person. (They’re working from a call center…just like any group that makes a massive amount of calls hoping to hit that one that’ll pay off.) That way they’ll know they’ve already called you. And no, they shouldn’t be calling that often at this early stage. But believe me, ultimatly they want you to be able to come thru and will want to work with you…your lender is probably saddled with more reclaimed properties than they know what to do with.
  4. Legally they can call anytime between 8am and 8pm. It’s up to you to decide when you want to take calls.
  5. If you don’t like the person you “get,” ask for somebody else. This is going to be a long haul and you want somebody professional and knowledgable. (Not all of them are.)
  6. To buy time, everytime they propose a monetary readjustment (which will be small) tell them you want to work with them, but that you just can’t meet what they want you to commit to.
  7. DON’T SIGN ANYTHING. You’ll probably start getting a lot of “packets,” documents needing your financial status and signature. Provide the info they want but do not sign an agreement, unless their proposal really looks good for you; let it just sit on the table. When they call you about it tell them you’ve been reading it over but you just can’t meet what they want you to commit to. (Repeat yourself a lot. They do.)

They’re calling this the Great Recession. Because if they call it a Depression, people (investors) will freak. (As if most of us don’t know it is.) I would guess your roomates need a place to stay as much as you do. All of you hang in there. The wheels turn slowly. Red tape can be your friend. You just have to learn to live with the “panic” as if it’s a low-grade fever. Until you can find a job or turn old enough to collect Social Security, which I’m waiting to do because of health reasons.
Remember, food pantries are now providing meals for families of (laid off) upper management.

15

Call me cynical, but I’m pretty sure that nothing that the ‘first line’ call center person tells me is going to particularly reliable. In other words, it won’t really matter if they tell me they think I qualify or if they think I don’t - either way will be just a ‘best guess’ at this point. So I’m not about to go spilling all my personal financial information to the first person who asks. Especially since I’m pretty sure that I will then be expected to repeat this info for any number of people throughout the process. No, I think I’ll go further up the food chain before I start doing that. And I may decide to go through the state program for assistance with the whole process.

Becky, your information is very helpful - both a little reassuring and a little scary! Thanks so much for sharing - I’m taking notes! :slight_smile:

16

Glad I can help in whatever little way. I check back every once in a while to see if you have a specific question that I might know the answer to.