One thing to realize is that you know a lot of people who have gone through their own issues with fertility. If you met me, my wife, and our two adorable bio kids, you’d never know about our own struggles. Not that I mean to push our success story on you – success in this endeavor has to be defined as deciding on a path, pursuing it, and being satisfied with it.
But as Broomstick said, we live in a world of options today. There’s tons of people who’ve had problems conceiving with biological kids, and there’s tons more people with kids who cooked somewhere else, and there’s tons of people who don’t have kids and feel their lives just as full. What you shouldn’t feel liks is you need to make all of these decisions today. Let the docs do their job first, and then you can agonize over how to proceed once the facts are on the table.
Cliffy makes a good point. My wife started talking to a couple of friends about our struggles, and as word got around and more and more women chimed in with a “me too!”, her friend ended up starting a support group for women dealing with infertility. A surprisingly large number of people we knew joined it.
So, I have no experience with fertility treatments; however, I have lots of experience with a high TSH.
Depending on who you ask (different labs have different opinions) a ‘normal’ TSH range can be between 0.4 and 7 - that’s a huge range. For me personally, I’m ‘normal’ and functioning ‘normally’ when my TSH is 0.4. If it goes as high as 3 or 4 I’m a big sluggish blob, I get headaches, I feel crap and the length between my periods increases. When it’s around 0.4, you can set a clock by my cycle, 28 days exactly, ovulation on day 14, etc, etc. (I’m one of those odd women who can tell when I ovulate).
Uncontrolled hypothyroidism is a known cause of fertility issues, and a high TSH is a hallmark uncontrolled hyperthyroidism.
So, my point is, you should ponder if you have any of the symptoms of hyperthyroidism, keeping in mind that they can sneak up on you and what you blew off as lack of sleep and work stress could be something else entirely.
FWIW, if your wacky TSH is causing your woes, it’s a REALLY easy fix. Hypothyroidism is typically treated with Synthroid which is an inexpensive, easy to take pill with few side effects. After I was diagnosed there was some adjustment to get my dosage correct, and to figure out what TSH level was ‘normal’ for me (I could tell because I went back to feeling ‘normal’:p) and it’s now been stable for many years, with some minor adjustments needed while I was pregnant with Junior.
So, here’s hoping it is hypothyroidism creating problems and that they are easily solved.
I have diagnosed PCOS with insulin resistance. We tried to get pregnant for a year, then while pondering the next steps, I started eating low carb and conceived 2 months later. When we wanted a 2nd child, I started eating low carb again and got pregnant right away.
That’s only my experience, of course, but it might be worth a shot.
This is so true. As my wife and mentioned to people close to us that we were having fertility issues, we discovered that so many couples we knew also were struggling. It made is feel like like were in a community.
This is a really minor point, but I thought I’d mention it … it might be good to get into a mindset that your ovulation charts are mostly helpful for you to answer questions about your cycle. From an RE’s standpoint, there’s not a lot of information in there that is helpful to them. I remember being very … hurt?, almost, about this, I think I was giving the charts a great psychological significance, like “See? I worked really hard on this! I am responsible! I am committed!” But in reality, the charts are the most useful for women who don’t have problems conceiving. Anything medical that is hindering conception is not going to be reflected in your charting.
In my experience, and this might be my particular RE, it was a lot easier to have the RE’s office call and ask for old records or scans if needed – I think the doctor-to-doctor connection speeds things up, and they know exactly what they’re asking for. It would be helpful to have the name of the medical office and phone number handy to provide to your RE’s office.
I remember I had Clomid even though I was ovulating because another benefit is that it can help them really regulate it (especially as you describe yourself as having an irregular cycle) for diagnostic tests. Guessing that you will ovulate “sometime next week” isn’t precise enough for what they are looking for on some of these tests.
All of this is, of course, my experience, and if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that people’s experiences in this area vary WILDLY. I have read other threads by people who, at first description, seemed in very similar infertility situations, but the specifics were completely different from mine.
One of the pieces of advice I got, and I think its good, is before your appointment talk about how far you’ll go and what appropriate end points are. Are you willing to consider adoption? At what point will IVF become too much - even if insurance pays something, they won’t pay limitless cycles? Are you willing to go through multiple miscarriages, or will you stop.
You don’t need to set these decisions in stone, but this is one of those intervention cycles that once you start, you can determine that the ONLY acceptable outcome is a pregnancy followed by a baby - regardless of the costs - financially, to your body, to your marriage, to your life. I worked with a women who’d been trying for thirteen years to get pregnant - they had no life other than fertility - and nothing after thirteen years but a few miscarriages. Now, that might have been what they signed up for, but I think neither of them had the courage to say “enough” once so much had been invested in it. Talking about this up front - before you’ve sunk too much into it - can help you decide when or if to put the breaks on.
We are not at the stage of fertility clinic yet but it could be in our future.
I have had some issues for years - long cycles, PCOS symptoms plus other things and was pretty much told to live with it. Then I managed to find a great OBGYN here who listened to me as I bawled in her office at the first appointment when I hadn’t realised it was affecting me so much. After tests and exams she has diagnosed me with PCOS w/insulin resistance and put me on Metformin which has in conjunction with my ongoing diet & exercise has really started to make a difference in my weight. My hormone levels at my last check were coming more into where she wanted them. She encouraged us to start trying in fact told us to get after it - which we did 6 months ago - but so far no luck and as I am 35 the clock is ticking. We have a plan to start Clomid in 6 months if he doesn’t get me knocked up before then.
I am terrified of having to go the IVF route. As I know the stress it creates - we have friends who have done it successfully and some without success. I am also a non-USA person and dealing with what is and is not covered by our insurance is something I deal with at each step and then move on.
I guess I wrote this as a ‘there are a lot more of us out there going through it at the same time than you think’ post which means there is a lot of support on the boards. Good luck with whatever you find out and eventally decide.
But that should be the obgyn, not the GP, at least with the protocols I’m familiar with.
Antigen, I got to hear this so often during the start of both of my sister in law’s pregnancies that I wanted to carve it into a baseball bat and give it to her as a gift (and not over the head, even): “the average time for a couple to get pregnant once they decide to start trying is two years”. You’re still well within the first 50%. The docs are just “speeding up” the “go see an obgyn” part due to being over 30, that’s all.
One other thing: keep a filter on with the advice you get, including the advice you’re getting in this thread. People have their own experiences and results, but it will not all apply to you.
In the beginning, I listened to all the advice from those who had been through it. In the end, only about 30% to 50% of the advice applied to US, and that’s being generous.
A couple of really good things pointed out in the thread that are generic to all infertility issues are: 1) your husband needs to be tested as well, 2) discuss your end points before you get too far in this process, 3) seek therapy, 4) take breaks in treatments/TTC if you need them, 5) take charge of your own health (do some research and ask lots of questions), and an additional piece of advice from me is to remember to take care of yourselves.
I remember in the beginning we (especially me) were so focused on getting pregnant that we stopped living life. I wouldn’t book a vacation because I ‘might be pregnant’, I wouldn’t drink coffee or exercise too hard in the two week wait, I went on a variety of diets that made me headachy and miserable, and I put a lot of energy in to analysing my charts and test results. Sometimes it feels good to do things that make you feel like you have a little bit of control over the situation, but it’s draining. Just remember to live your life as you go down whatever path you choose.
Not necessarily. A lot of GPs in the U.S. will do the early intervention stuff. Prescribing Clomid is easy, a few cycles has a fairly high success rate if nothing serious is going on, and if it isn’t contraindicated, why refer someone to an RE or OB/GYN.
My GP referred me, but it was almost twenty years ago and he was a sixty year old guy in family practice. But the RE I ended up with said even then that about half her patients had done three cycles of Clomid before ending up with her.
I am so, so grateful for the input from all of you. The internet is so incredibly full of stupid when it comes to fertility, but I was nervous to post about this stuff here in case you guys would tell me this isn’t a baby message board and to take my fertility woes elsewhere. Most of my friends and family aren’t aware that we’re trying to conceive, so I don’t have much of a support group right now. I post on a TTC message board, but the intelligent and logical posters in that realm are few and far between!
See, and I was under the impression that one had to be monitored with an ultrasound when first starting Clomid, in case one is a huge responder and pops off a half dozen eggs and ends up with unwanted and risky multiples. Then again, I got that info from that trying-to-conceive message board, so who’s to say how accurate that is. I don’t know anyone who’s gone through the process, so I can’t ask around.
Really? That’s not the way I’ve seen it… the UK’s NHS (the most reliable site I can find in a quick google search) says:
Either way, I’m not completely freaking out and thinking something is horribly wrong - as I mentioned, the visit to the specialist is happening because my GP thought it would be a good idea, given my thyroid and my history.
EmAnJ - I’m trying very hard to just live life, but it’s hard for me to let go of the charting stuff for now. I feel like it gives me just a little bit of control, because I can see what my body is doing. Besides, it’s saving me money on pregnancy tests, because without my charts, I’d start peeing on sticks around day 28, when as it turns out, half the time I’ve barely ovulated by then! As to booking vacations, well, there’s a cruise I really want to go on in February, but I don’t want to lose a bunch of our deposit if I end up pregnant before then. So I’m waiting until September to book it, since at that point I’d be less than 6 months pregnant at the time of the cruise and still be able to go. Am I being unreasonable, or smart, not to book the trip yet? Does that count as putting life on hold? I don’t know, now. I’m not changing my diet or my habits “in case I’m pregnant”, beyond a focused effort to eat healthier in general for my own sake. I’m still drinking coffee, and occasional wine. I still take a Tylenol when my headache won’t go away. I don’t think I’m obsessed… but I guess it’s hard to tell from my perspective. Sex is still fun, and my husband and I are still happy together, so I think I’m doing okay so far.
Oh, and alice_in_wonderland - I somehow missed your post earlier. I have long suspected my “normal” thyroid is not normal for me, but somewhat understandably, doctors don’t want to treat me with medication when my TSH is within the normal range. No matter that I’m always cold, my hair is thinning, I’m always sluggish and tired, and that I’ve fought depression for over twenty years. Never mind that damn near every woman in my family over 40 years old was diagnosed with hypothyroidism after years of being “normal” and feeling like shit. Sorry, can you tell I’m a little touchy about the subject?? Oh well. If the RE decides to tweak my thyroid, maybe it’ll help with more than my fertility.
But what are you going to do about it? Most people will take the risk of multiples.
There was one cycle where I had eleven eggs being released counted on ultrasound (I can’t remember if it was a Clomid cycle or a Fertinex cycle) and we went ahead with the insemination. And nothing happened.
When my current doctor said that “normal” is average, and if my symptoms were bad enough to make me miserable, she would consider medicating me, I was so happy I cried in her office. Of course, when my labs came back normal-ish, she said she would feel better if I saw a specialist, so I’m still waiting.
Dangerosa - I wouldn’t turn my nose up at twins but holy hell would I be terrified if I ended up with triplets or quads or more! I’m pretty sure there’s a Maximum Occupancy sign in my uterus. Obviously, if that’s the way it goes, I’ll deal with it, but the health risks for me and the babies go way up when the numbers go up. Thanks for setting me straight about the monitoring thing - that’s why I’m here asking you folks about everything! The TTC board ladies freak the hell out every time someone says they’re on Clomid and not being monitored by ultrasound - you’d think it was gross medical negligence.
!! …yeah. Another one here who can’t help you with the fertility (except by sending best wishes your way), but yeah, that’s crazy, you sound exactly like I felt before I got treated for high TSH/hypothyrodism, which yeah, fertility problems right there, I usually have on-the-dot periods and before I got treated they were going erratic. Have they tested your T3/T4 and are those levels “normal”? Can you find any doctor who would at least be willing to work with you on that (an endocrinologist, maybe)? (ETA: just saw your latest post, sorry)
One of my co-workers has the same issue; finally his TSH levels got high enough that they gave him levothyroxine, and fortunately he had a doctor who even when his TSH levels were in the “normal” range said, “Huh, you still have symptoms; try taking more.” And he said it was an amazing difference.
ETA: Both my co-worker and I (alice, what was your experience?) saw a response almost immediately when we started taking levothyroxine. It took weeks/months (as we’d both been warned by our doctors) before we were back to what we thought of as “normal,” but I suspect if you get put on a dose you’ll know pretty quickly whether it’s a problem (although judging from your symptoms I’m pretty sure).
Things may have changed post Octomom, but back when I did this, you got X cycles of medication and then they moved you down the path. The path generally involved more eggs, then IVF. So if you weren’t going to go the IVF route, your chance was to take the eggs you were given. Then, if you were at risk for a litter (more than three) “selective reduction” was recommended. But you worried about that AFTER something took.
However, my experience was quite a while ago. Back when IVF had a pretty limited success chance and was not covered by insurance unless you were lucky enough to live in Massachusetts.
Agreed - I took in a year’s worth of beautiful Fertility Friend colour coordinated charts showing clear signs of ovulation and correct timing, and he glanced at them briefly before proceeding to order a full range of tests for both of us. Like Julie Andrews says, “Let’s start at the very beginning…” Because many things can contribute to infertility, it’s unlikely to be a single obvious answer and the RS is going to need to understand how you work, before deciding how to proceed and they prefer their own testing to do this.
I’m very glad they do - we had a sperm test done through our GP as part of our initial testing, which came back clear. We assumed that the problem was with me and my polycystic ovaries. Our RS’s later more accurate testing indicated very poor sperm quality (and low volume) which pushed us straight into ICSI, and later HA-ICSI.
I’m not in the US/Canada so can’t assist with the financial understanding, but have been very very lucky to have 2 wonderful kids from 3 rounds of IVF so have been through both success and cycle failure, and happy for you to PM me if you have any questions - there have been lots of threads on the board with really helpful info as well so worth doing a search.
My only other piece of advice is to set yourself some non-baby goals. I signed up for some long distance cycle rides so 2008-9 could be the year I did the Otways and Round Taupo rides and the year we went to Cambodia, rather than the year we didn’t have a baby. Turns out I had a baby that year too, but the training and travel gave me plenty of distraction, and removed that frustrating ‘we’re not moving forward’ feeling that can be the trap when each month is a mini-disaster.
