It isn’t the case for me, but if Middlebro raised objections he’d be told to shove them; if Littlebro raised objections, those objections would be taken into consideration (he might still be told to shove them, but after I thought about it - Middlebro is unlikely to raise an objection that makes any sense). It’s not because they’re my brothers; their being my brothers puts us in contact, but whose advice I take into consideration or not has to do with how each one of them is.
Yep. The hubby too. Wikipedia is magic.
OP not poster: Yep.
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And was there?
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Nope.
Poster not OP:
Who says she didn’t really mean it? I’ll have to re-read the OP, but I think Beverly ran the idea by George before writing Barry a check. To me that means she thinks of the money as belonging to her husband as well as herself.
The OP says that Beverly does that after extended separations, not every day.
I have two younger sisters, one of whom lives in the same city as me and the other of whom lives several hundred miles a way. I see the first probably once a week (she has the astounding ability to gauge when I’ve just finished baking) and the other twice a year, tops. The far-off sister is likely to shower me with kisses when we see one another; the other doesn’t.
Doesn’t matter. It’s frickin’ weird. And two siblings who live in the same city, talk every day, and eat dinner together every weekend aren’t going to have “extended separations.”
On a very minor level, I experienced this in real life with the story turned around. I received an inheritance from my grandfather that was decent sized, but not huge by any means (five figure amount). My wife’s mother is a struggling real estate broker who is very close to having to retire for medical reasons and has a somewhat dumpy car that has 160,000 miles on it, but still runs fine. My wife announced that she wanted to use some of the money to buy her mother a new (or used low mileage) car.
This was after we discussed using the money to fix up our house, and then invest the rest with the hopes that it will allow us to retire at an earlier age. My logic is, when the Mom retires, we plan to take her in to live with us, and I suspect the medical condition will force the retirement long before the car dies. The car is a mess, but that’s all cosmetic because the Mom is a bit of a slob. Getting her a newer car won’t make her sell more houses, and before long, she won’t be driving. My compromise was I’d match any funds (and possibly double them depending on how little she gets) her two sisters want to contibute towards the Mom getting a new car if they really want to do that. I suspect the money is simply being volunteered because we have it in hand.
Relating this back to the hypothetical situation, I guess I’ll be the contrary asshole and co-sign a loan, but not give the borther the money. We don’t know that the brother’s business isn’t going to fail anyway, so give him a hand, and see if he pays back the loan. If he doesn’t and you lose the $40,000 loan money, that’s fine because it is a drop in the bucket, but at least you aren’t throwing millions at a failing business. I may also be in the minority for thinking this, but I find people who are given money are often ultimately shamed by it and get angry when they need more and don’t get it when they fail in round 2. Again, I’m sure I’ll get many “you’re worse than Hitler” comments, but I would also want to know what the problem was with the brother making payroll. Will I believe it is truly a stint of bad luck when I hear the story, or is he involved in some stupid operation that is money losing and he’s too dumb to see it? Oh, you don’t want me to pry because I don’t understand the brother’s business and I shouldn’t be so nosey as a loving sibling? If I thought it was going to affect my marriage in any way (whether you thnk George is an asshole that should be divorced is irrelevant), I’d make damn sure I was making the right choice, and I’d want my brother to explain the situation.
I’m not sure about believable, but I think the intent was to make you look in askance at what was implied to be a quasi-/psuedo-incestuous relationship to evoke some empathy with George. Kind of like a “he’s kinda an asshole, but they really ARE sort of squicky” thing.
Obviously, it ain’t working.
I wouldn’t say he had veto power exactly, but I valued his opinion very very highly. Love is blind, as they say, and sometimes it’s hard to see why someone is a bad fit for you. My brother was closer to me than any other person, and he could often see red flags before I could. If he thought someone was a dipshit, they usually were, even if I was a bit too googly-eyed to notice it.
I dunno, we were exceptionally close. He was my best friend in addition to being my brother. If your best friend said he thought someone was wrong for you, wouldn’t you listen? It was like that.
Bank loans don’t work like that. Co-signing a loan is a very bad idea.
From the banks point of view, if Barry owes them $5, and $20, and $100, he owes them $125. If the $20 is secured, and the $100 is not, any money they get paid goes to pay the $100 first. Any Money.
If he goes bust owing $100 Billion, You owe them $40,000 until the $100 Billion is bled out of you. Your $40,000 loan is not quarantined from the $100 Billion: it is secondary to the $100 Billion.
In some places, consumer home loans are specially protected. This is not a consumer home loan, it is a business loan.
Co-signing a loan for his brother-in-law would be a very bad mistake. Make it a free gift: no strings, no contracts. no liablility, or not. Don’t tie yourself to his bankers.
That’s a really tricky question. Should she hire Oakminster or another lawyer for the divorce? Not sure…
George is a horrible person. If the money is theirs, of course he doesn’t have veto power. He has a vote, same as she does. What he’s saying is that something being “theirs” is really HIS. The idea that she and the brother are too close is ridiculous, and also hints at the idea that he is extremely controlling.
He’s just trying to manipulate her again. Notice the weaseling. The marriage may not survive. He brought that up just to scare her and try to control her. She should definitely call his bluff. If this is just a tiny odd thing, this won’t doom their marriage. If it’s a big thing, their marriage was already doomed.
I don’t even see any reason to say she’s taking it out of her half. The idea of halves doesn’t apply if the money belongs to both of them. And she needs not to placate him on this. You don’t need to give in to someone who is trying to manipulate you.
This.
It sounds like you’re saying that even though he co-signed for $40,000, they’d somehow go after him for $100 billion, $40,000 at a time. I don’t see how it could work like that.
I suppose that the bank could allocate payments from the brother in anyway they choose, as long as there is no bankruptcy * involved (although what Melbourne describes sounds more like revolving credit than multiple installment loans-when I’ve had multiple installment loans from the same source each loan had it’s own account number, payment due date,term etc and a payment to Loan A was credited to Loan A even if Loan B had a higher balance)
But that's got nothing to do with payments from the cosigner, who is only responsible for one of the loans. The bank certainly can't make the cosigner pay $100,000 if he only cosigned the $40,000 loan
- in the US secured creditors are paid first in a bankruptcy, not unsecured. But cosigning it itself does not make a debt secured.
That’s certainly what I would expect. When Melbourne says “You owe them $40,000 until the $100 Billion is bled out of you.”, I don’t see how to interpret that as anything other than him saying you’re on the hook until the total $100 billion is paid. i’m just wondering if that’s really what he’s saying, or if I’m misinterpreting it somehow.
Sorry,I wasn’t clear.Yes, that’s what he seems to be saying, and no, that’s not the way it works in the US or probably anywhere else.
I’ll be **Oakminster’s ** process server.
This, except:
- don’t hire me (I’m not any kind of a lawyer)
- if they’re in a community property state, George might demand his “fair share” i.e. the full 30 million.
I’d just like to point out that I think many are being a bit hard on Barry’s business skills.
He dropped out of college, put his sister through college, go his degree, started a business that he built to a 20 man operation -
He must have some skill