Ahh yes! Back to the STMB…I’ve been on hiatus in Vermont looking at the foliage with my wife, and again we got into a philosophical debate, this time about love anxiety.
Essentially we define Love Anxiety as ones S.O. worrying too much about them. For instance, a newly married couple where the spouse constantly worries about the other. Are they going to be ok driving to work? Are they going to be a victim of a horrible accident? So on and so forth until they simply can not stop worrying.
I believe a certain amount of worrying for a spouse is normal. However, when is enough enough? Do you worry about your SO? If so how much?
Where does the worry come from? Is intense love always associated with a certain amount of worry for the S.O? Is the answer as obvious as simply saying yes?
I worry about my SO and he worries about me. We’re long distance for the time being so there’s an extra element of worry involved (though we do keep in touch through text, phone and the net).
I try not to worry too much about him - after all, he’s lived 39 years on this planet and taken care of himself so far so I have to trust he can keep doing it! I worry cos I care about him, I absolutely adore him - I figure that if you don’t really ever worry about your SO, then you have serious questions to ask yourself about how much you care about that person.
I do agree that our worry levels about each other (which are healthy, not suffocating) will even out a little more once we move together and are in daily physical contact. I do believe there’s a point at which you can worry too much - after all, worrying doesn’t really help a situation, and most especially worrying about something that may or may not happen at all.
I think people have to keep it in perspective and trust their SO to take care of themselves - after all, they are adult human beings and managed thus far without us. What I and my BF say to each other is to remember that there’s more than one person in our lives now and so we have to keep that in mind when doing anything (ie not to drive like a maniac but drive like your SO is in the car with you) - that helps keep it all in perspective for us.
My sweetie thinks it’s silly if I hear of a wreck on the radio near his job site and call him to see if he’s OK. He figures if something happened to me, I’d call him. And he’s right, I did call him when I broke my leg last year. And no, I know he can take care of himself. I just like the extra little checking, the “thinking of you” bit.
But he thinks it’s cute too. I don’t go overboard with it, or that would truly drive him nuts. And he calls me during the day to make sure I made it to work on time. He’s not obsessive about it, but I love the little attention. If I were required to check in every time I went anywhere, that would drive me nuts too. I guess it’s all about balance.