Love letter to the traffic lady on the radio

() Dipshit
() Doo-doo head
() Numbnuts
() Politician
() Salesman
(*) Other: radio traffic report lady

I was recently
() amused
() confounded
() dismayed
) driven into murderous rage
() impressed
() other: ____
in response to your recent
() clue
() incarceration
() promotion
() rectocephelectomy
() successful bribe
) other: graduating law school
which was brought to my attention by your
() addiction
() aroma
() credulous simplicity
(*) deceit
() experience
() other: ____

(*) I would like to add:
This morning I was stuck in gridlock from not one, but two, freeway interchanges that were completely shut down, one from construction and the other from a fatal car accident, but all you mention is some insulation on the road on the other side of town. You obviously have lots of training as a lawyer; every time you talk, you’re lying!

The situation left me with an prolonged feeling of
() abject confusion
) bemusement
() dread
) fury
(*) hate
() other: ____

In conclusion please consider my suggestion that you should
() apply affectionate kisses to my corpulent buttocks
() consumate marital relations with your own being
() consume excrement
(*) copulate in a different direction and thus expire
() descend posterior-first upon my extended middle finger after which you may swiftly rotate
() other: ____

Yours truly,

SIGN HERE: Subway Prophet

Clever. Original. Vitriolic. I give it an 8. :wink:

Do you live in Denver? Our local traffic/talk station recently (within the past three or four months) went from a competent helicopter traffic reporter to some stupid bint who’s only qualification seems to be that she is named Amelia Earhart. :rolleyes:

She consisitently mentions only one (never the same one) highway among probably six major routes to the exclusion of all others. So irritating…

Subway Prophet doesn’t take the train to work?

sigh. If only. Sadly, there ain’t no such thing here in Dallas/Fort Worth TX, and the next-best thing, the light rail, has so few stops it’s a joke.

But, true to my name, I knew that before I moved here. :smack:

I foresee a nasty sprain/dislocation which could substantially impede your ability to communicate with other drivers. :frowning:

I feel your pain.

Our local traffic announcers either report a clog that’s not there anymore, completely ignore new jam-ups, and always tell us about the stretches of freeway which are always busy regardless and need no daily mention. I’ve stopped listening to them because they’re useless.