I don’t think anyone is entitled to anything, but I know that if I’m doing something with someone, and if I were going to be getting a benefit that they weren’t, I’d want to share the benefit with them if I could. For example, if I went to a restaurant with a friend and then I was the 50th customer of the day and got a free appetizer, I’d share the appetizer. The urge would be especially strong if my friend were number 49 and his going before me made me the lucky one.
Or, in a different vein, I got a free month of Vonage when someone signed up and used me as a reference. I didn’t tell them to use me as a reference, but if I had, I would have said, “This would give me a free month” before they ever signed up so they could feel like they knew going in and that I wasn’t trying to push them into giving me a benefit through their actions.
Heh, I’ve done that with my mom before. We each got one of something and gave the other the free one. The reciprocity is the key. Were I Tom, I’d say, “Cool, so next month my lunch is on you?”
The only circumstance in which I don’t share the benefit of coupons , etc at restaurants is when we get separate checks. Generally speaking this would happen at some sort of buffet place or fast food restaurant. If it’s a regular restaurant, and we’re getting one check, then every one throws their free appetizer, BOGO, 10% off etc coupons in, and we split what’s left over. If someone doesn’t like that idea, we can always get separate checks - but then Jerry’s BOGO is useless, isn’t it?
Funny, it’s never the people who order the cheapest meals and drinks who want to split everything down the middle…just the ones who would have a lower bill if everyone pays the same amount. It’s a small thing, but if I am drinking iced tea, and the person I’m having dinner with is slamming down top shelf margaritas, then even if I order the most expensive dinner, the other person’s bill is likely to be three times as much as mine is.
I’d be a little annoyed if this happened and the coupon holder didn’t offer to split the bill with me. But I wouldn’t bitch about it. I’d just, later in the afternoon, discretely slip him a ten or a twenty, murmuring something about how I know he must be having some hard times. It’s the shame solution.
He’s not obligated either way. The point is that he’s still using Tom’s money to get himself a free meal.
He wouldn’t be sharing 50% of the benefits of the whole card. He’d be sharing 50% of the benfits for that on particular month. It’s also not a question of being entitled to anything, it’s just the decent and civil thing for Jerry to offer.
I’m just baffled that Jerry didn’t clue Tom in at the time of the invitation. “Hey, I have a BOGO deal at McSwizzle’s. Do ya wanna buy one so I can get one?” Closer to my own reality would be to mention the deal and suggest we split the check. Hey, 2 half price lunches!
I guess it makes sense that Jerry having bought the card, rather than having a free coupon from the paper would change the dynamic. I just think a heads up would be nice. “Gwen the check comes your half is gonna be all of it.”
If I’m Tom, I’m annoyed, and no more lunch together. However, that is irrational and stupid.
Scenario 1: Jerry and I are having Lunch. I pay 14 bucks, he pays 14 bucks. We’ll have lunch again in a few weeks.
Scenario 2: Jerry and I are having Lunch. I pay 14 bucks, he doesn’t. Now he’s an asshole. That really doen’t make sense.
What if this was in fact a punch card, and this was the 6th and 7th meal, and 3 meals down the road he gets a free one - does that still make him an asshole? Especially if I can’t be bothered with punch cards?
There’s something weird that people expect “a cut” when someone has a windfall or gets a freebie. I had a co-worker win the lottery. Some co-workers were genuinely angry he didn’t share anything with them.
That said, I would’ve shared the coupon, or more likely bought Jerry his lunch. I believe in sharing the wealth. But is asinine to insist others do.
I agree it makes a difference if Jerry bought the card rather than got it as a free gift from the restaurant or similar. Although even if he did, the fact that it IS a “buy one get one free” suggests that it’s probably discounted in the first place (I think).
Where Jerry loses is in not saying “Tom, do you mind if I use this card,” BEFOREHAND rather than asking him to split the bill, and then revealing the agenda afterwards. Even if the hidden agenda is comparatively harmless, it’s still rude to solicit Tom’s help in it without telling him what it was.
The issue is that Jerry’s free lunch came only because of Tom. If your benefit comes from someone else’s actions, that person is part of the deal. Without Tom, Jerry pays for his own meal. There are two things Jerry needs to get his meal–Tom and the coupon. When you need someone to do something for you, you give them something in return.
I have a similar, but true ,situation, and want to see if people see it the same way. A fairly large group of friends went on a trip. One person called and made the hotel reservations so that they could get a group rate. All of the rooms received a discount, and due to the number of rooms booked one room was comped. The person who made the reservations took the comp room. He told his roommate “the rooms are $100, so your share is $50”, The roommate hit the ceiling when he found out this room was actually free. ( he saw the bill that was slipped under the door). Now, if the roommate had been sharing the room with anyone else on the trip, the room would have been $100 and his share would have been $50, so he wasn’t really worse off. Was the roommate a jerk for trying to share in a windfall, or was reservation guy a jerk for trying to make a profit?
The rooms as a block were the amount of all of the rooms added together divided by the number of people OR the amount of all the rooms added together divided by the number of rooms and each room divided by the number of people in it (if there are uneven numbers per room) . There is no “free” room for one person to get because it’s on the back of all of the other reservations.
The reservation guy was a jerk for ripping off every person on the trip. There’s no difference between the one who actually shared his room and all the rest. The rooms were purchased all as one package, so the total price should have been divided among everyone.
Absolutely, he’s a jerk. The only way he’s not a complete jerk in this situation is if he’s in a job that entitles him to substantial discounts at this particular hotel chain, and he booked everyone at the discounted rate. In that circumstance, taking the comped room is still pretty low given that it didn’t cost him anything to get it, but at least everyone benefitted in some way.
However, in your situation, everyone should be entitled to a portion of the discount because it’s a group rate, and without a group, you don’t get the good rate.
I collect points toward free hotel nights by using loyalty credit cards. None of these cards is free because I pay up to $100 per year for them in annual fees. There have been times when I’ve used my points to get free nights for our girls’ or couples’ weekends away. I don’t profit from this at all. In fact, I take a hit because I don’t charge anything for the use of these points even though I’m paying the annual fees. Rather we take the total bill (after my free nights) and divide it by the number of people.
In fact, one couple in particular has benefitted in the thousands of dollars by getting free airline tickets and free hotel rooms. They haven’t even taken us out to dinner to thank us. :mad: