I have two sons. The eldest (junior high aged) is into sports, hip-hop, and is convinced that you have to be tougher than everyone else in order to make it in this world. The younger (elementary aged) is a more creative/imaginative sort. The older son is on the right track, but I could easily see him getting burned out or lost when he eventually reaches a point where brute force isn’t enough. In the meantime, he’s making things hard for his younger “weak” brother.
So, to give some role models, who are some “tough” celebrities who exhibited a creative, giving or otherwise non-“macho” side? I can think of:
Rosie Grier - He’s an obvious example, but he was one of the toughest lineman of his era, and as Bobby Kennedy’s bodyguard he apprehended Sirhan Sirhan and kept him from shooting anyone else by jamming his finger behind the trigger of Sirhan’s gun. His hobbies? Needlepoint and stamp collecting.
Snoop Dogg - the rapper started a youth football league for kids in Souther California who couldn’t otherwise afford to play youth sports.
Muhammed Ali - The man committed his life to being a role model for blacks everywhere and for showing people what a hero really was.
George Foreman - After survived the burnout of his boxing career, Foreman started a youth home. No big deal or heavy lectures, it’s just a place for kids to hang out.
Joe Namath - For the pantyhose ad? Nah, maybe he shouldn’t be on this list (It’s on YouTube; no, I won’t link to it.)
Esera Tuaolo - I had a friend in high school who was run off the football team for being gay. Tuaolo played nine years on the line in the NFL, coming out two years later.
Does it have to be real people? A lot of male actors usually typecast in “macho” roles have a lot of “not-so-macho” movies to their name, where the role is more human/caring. Bruce Willis, for instance.
Mick “Cactus Jack” Foley, one of the originators of American hardcore wrestling, is a author of childrens book, wrote (as opposed to ghost-wrote) his autobiography long hand, and is a devoted family man.
Many of these tough-guy stars listed probably will have little affect on the worldview of a tweener/young teen. Swayze? Mellencamp? Names mean nothing; no connection. Kipling? Tolkien? Lewis? These guys wouldn’t be viewed as tough guy models to emulate.
Instead, you need to look at current sports and hip-hop stars. If your child is focusing on DMX and Terrell Owens, you’ve got it tough. However, there are many positive role models to be found in sports (not so much rock or hip-hop). I used professional wrestling, although Cactus Jack’s main work would be before your boys’ times.
I agree. I want examples that show that many of the really tough guys out there aren’t quite as one sided as you might think.
There are some positive role models in hip-hop, but things aren’t quite so cut and dried. Many of these guys, Snoop Dawg for example, grew up in gangs and were mentored by the higher-ups. The only good example that I can think of is Snoop Dawg with his youth football league. I expect that there are others.
While “macho” isn’t the first term I’d use to describe Phoenix, he’s had some “macho” roles. *Walk The Line[/i[, Ladder 49 and Signs being some that come to mind.