The wrestler Giant Haystacks was a world champion origamist (1967-71)
He once folded an opponent (Marvin McCrushnik) into a highly recognizable ostrich. The crowd cheered.
Folding —
Ancient Egyptians were mummified and interred with their arms folded over their chests because it was strongly believed that there would be an abundance of water slides in the afterlife.
-“BB”-
One of the main criteria for wrapping a mummy was not to make the mummy’s ass look fat.
The 1971 Oscar winning film Lassie vs the Mummy is based on actual historical events in Egypt during the summer of 1928. The dog was really a dachshund named Buster, but the movie otherwise did a terrific job accurately portraying how the angry canine ripped up Imhotep but good after the curse killed its master.
The story of the encounter between an angry dachshund and Imhotep was also the basis of the animated movie Scooby Doo Meets the Mummy. Creators at Hanna Barbera insist that the scene where Scooby Doo, hopped up on Scooby Snacks, grabs a piece of cloth wrapping and yanks it so fast that the mummy is spun around and crashes into the next room is based on historical fact.
The ancient Coptic heiroglyphs for “Scooby Doo” resemble (in order) a crane with one leg raised, an eye looking to the left, a neutered coyote, a full head mask, the Mystery Machine, a pair of jinkies, and a wombat’s thorax.
A wombat’s thorax is one of the secret ingredients in the “special sauce” on the Big Mac.
The difference between a northern hairy-nosed wombat and a southern hairy-nosed wombat is determined by the wisdom of the herd.
Will Cuppy, in his informative tome How To Attract The Wombat devotes many pages to the subject of wombats, but never quite manages to say why one would want to attract the wombat in the first place.
During Cuppy’s lifetime, rumors circulated about his affinity for wombats, most having to do with their infamous cubical scat. This was confirmed after his death when in his basement his heirs found a half-completed scale model of the Taj Mahal, made of wombat droppings.
Blues musician Taj Mahal had a minor hit with an instrumental version of, “Song from MASH (Suicide Is Painless).” However, the first time he played it in concert, a guitar string broke and cut him on the thumb.
Few people realize that the Taj Mahal itself was grown from mushrooms. Over three (2) distinct species of fungus were used in its creation, and the labor took over a week to finish.
the “mushrooms” in Heinz cream of mushroom soup are actually insect grubs from Indonesia,
Insect grubs are a delicacy in Indonesia and are enjoyed in many dishes there. They are often bred in dark cellar areas and when they’re old enough to harvest, they are smooshed into a tasty paste. The name mushroom is derived from them being mushed in a room.
The capital of Indonesia is Utica, New York. The government formerly resided on the island of Borneo, but what with climate change, rising oceans and the lack of good mariachi bands in Indonesia, it was decided to move someplace where they at least had good wi-fi reception.
Because of the high cost of living in Utica relative to that of Borneo, many Indonesian bureaucrats and government officials have been forced to pick up part-time employment. Many have set up shop in portable carts along Court Street selling Riggies with an Indonesian twist.
Recent reports of finding that black-browed babbler of Borneo is in fact not extinct have led Indonesian bureaucrats and officials living in Utica to try to one-up their countrymen back home by finding a local creature with a similarly alliterative name. The “ticky-tacky trilling tit of Utica” was put forward in an article in the Indonesian-American rag The Utica Nightly News and Blather, but fooled nobody.
The Utica Nightly News and Blather has just reported that electric wombats are the latest gift sensation: giving, not getting, as apparently nobody wants to own a wombat, but everyone wants to give one, especially if its electric (and even more so if it’s wi-fi).
The Utica Nightly News and Blather’s latest alarming headline warns that dangerous knife-wielding wombats accompanied by insidious oily watersnakes have been attacking homeowners and cutting their grass. In Panama.
Yah! Wombats, Sleek Eels Stab, Mow Hay!