Made-up, False and Flat-out Wrong Trivia Dominoes II


Jun 22

The whim-wham-whistling whale has been known to perform several operas at the same time, taking all the parts at once. It’s amazing, but not very good.
+++++ Continued:

On the Spanish Island of Mallorca, whales shop. It’s amazing, but not very profitable.

“What a load of Mallorca!” say the unimpressed schools of whales when tourist orca return from their travels to the Spanish Isles.

True disrespect is what baleen whales are shown by other whales. “Filter feeder” is in most non-baleen-whale languages a grave insult. Of course, baleen whales are too damn big to care very much what any other creature thinks of them.

If you’re ever in a pub in Glasgow and you ask the two obese ladies at the bar if they’re from Scotland and they holler, “Wales,” at you, no matter how drunk you are, don’t say to them, “Beg yer pardon, where are you whales from?” A trip to ER awaits you.


In Wales there is a pub in every ER, and an ER in every pub.

For some reason I thought Burpo hadn’t been on in a few months. I see I was wrong. Welcome back, anywho.

^ Nope, not wrong. Was gone for a couple months, returned about 2/3 weeks ago. Thanx for the greeting, Professor! Good to see you!

People are actually here, it is their environment that is gone, according to a spokesperson for the American Cattleman Association.

The American Cattleman Association and the Dairy Farmers of America have had serious disagreements that dates back many years. No one quite remembers where or when the beef started but when the two groups throw down it’s like a cross between the West Side Story and a square dance.

The official slogan of the Dairy Farmers of America is “Come for the fresh milk, stay for the dairy air.”

The DFA only accepts members who have all ten digits on their feet. They are lack toes intolerant.

The DFA almost didn’t let Jake Bob Teakettle from the West Mifflin Holstein Dairy Farms join their organization because he only had four toes on his left foot. Fortunately, he had six on his right.

Jake Bob, in gratitude, tried to get he DFA and the ACA together on co-sponsoring a cow-patty bingo event. Perhaps not surprisingly, the cattlemen thought the whole idea was 'way too funny to be taken seriously, and their counter-proposal of a steak barbecue was likewise not well received by the DFA.

Playing DFA and then ACA on the piano will not make it explode, no matter how much TNT that pip-squeak Texan shoved in there. Beware F#!

Johnny F. Sharpe, a pitcher for the Chicago Pale Hose, was one out away from a perfect game against the Cleveland Daguerrotypes on June 29th, 1897, when he went to field a soft roller off the bat of Cleveland center fielder Bronko Forde. Sharpe got too close to the first-base line as he fielded the ball, and he was run over by Forde, which not only led to an error, and broke up the perfect game, but also forced Sharpe to leave the game with two broken ribs.

Sharpe was never the same pitcher after the incident, and he changed his name to Johnny B. Flatt.

Sharon McKendrick accidentally killed Susan Evers in a bizarre canoe accident near the Miss Inch Camp for Girls in 1971. While the court ruled Sharon to be blameless in her sister’s demise, psychiatrists report Sharon was never the same afterwards.

The Miss Inch Camp for Girls closed in 1972 after it was menaced sequentially by a swarm of Murder Hornets, the Summer Blizzard of '72, the cast of This Week In Serial Killers, a couple of bears and a few dozen pubescent males.

Stories of Jason Voorhees hiding out at the former site of the Miss Inch Camp have never been confirmed. The nearby boys’ camp, Camp Grenada, has been operating for decades without incident, despite complaints by some of the campers about alligators in the lake.

Major General Allen Sherman led the taskforce that invaded Grenada in October 1983. Codenamed Operation Urgent Furry, one of the primary objectives was to liberate the American students at the Grand Arse Campus of the St. Bernard’s School of animal dentistry.

Operation Urgent Furry became the inspiration for the Broadway hit Avenue Q. Since Broadway is closed due to the Coronavirus, Avenue Q has been stalking the back alleys of urban America, waiting for unmasked individuals to make the wrong turn, step into the alley and be knocked down and sung to, with the ticket price being taken from the wallets. Oh, ill betide those who have not the price of admission!