Due to some contractual dispute, Broadway’s Avenue Q 's road-company version is entitled 4-Q II, and is even raunchier and more dangerous for the theatergoer than its progenitor. A $500 refundable deposit is required with ticket purchase for, “ambulance/clean-up service.”
Cathy’s Ambulance Clean Up Service is Western Pennsylvania’s go-to for ambulance and emergency vehicle cleaning and sanitizing. They specialize in the removal of various noxious waste such as blood, vomit, bodily waste, saliva, bile, kidney waste, kidney pie waste, brain juice, dog vomit, ear wax, interstitial fluid, semen, elephant semen, duck oil, fecal matter, urine, gut barf, non-gut barf, mucous, sweat, sweet sweat, sour sweat, drug needles, porcupine needles, pine needles, pine nuts, pine fjords, hairy eyeballs, hairy neck waddles, pus, pus in boots, and much, much more. Nobody cleans up an ambulance like Cathy’s Ambulance Clean Up Service.
Cathy’s Ambulance Clean Up Service is now available in jumbo and extra-jumbo sizes, and also now in menthol.
“Cathy’s Ambulance Clean Up Service,” was the working title of the song that became, “Alice’s Restaurant.”
Alice’s Restaurant is still in operation and has 37 franchises throughout nine states: Alabama, Delaware, Hawaii, Idaho, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Mexico, New York, Texas and Yukon. All of them are closed at the moment due to the Covid-19 Lockdown. But they all do have phone service delivery, so [sing it] You can still get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant!
Yukon Cornelius has died. Doctors speculate it was a combination of gold poisoning–from licking the end of his pick-axe–and some rare venereal disease called “the Bumble Bounce.”
Auric Goldfinger has been named the new Assistant Secretary of the Treasury by his old friend Steve Mnuchin.
The President was reportedly excited about possibly meeting Goldfinger’s assistant Pussy Galore, but his enthusiasm turned to confusion when he learned that she was actually someone named Honor Blackman.
Honor Blackman died this year rather than meet with the President.
The president of the George Lazenby Fan Club has resigned and left the group, bringing the membership down to one.
George Lazenby is the President of the Burpo the Wonder Mutt Fan Club, which has dozens of chapters (or “kennels”) throughout all of Poughkeepsie.
George Lazenby has also been on the boards of directors of the Jo Anne Worley Fan Club, the Friends of Joe E. Ross, the Charles Nelson Reilly Appreciation Society, and the Orson Bean Bean-of-the-Month Club.
Charles Nelson Reilly has dropped his hat in the ring and will be running for POTUS. He expects to debate Kanye West, best 2 falls out of 3.
Reilly may be forgiven for dropping his hat, having died in 2007. Apparently Lazenby has been trying to recruit less-dated cultural references into his fan-club circle, but Kanye West has not responded, having no idea who Lazenby is.
Sean Connery’s brother, Neil, offered his services to the 007 films when Sean left the series. The response was No, thank you, so he starred in a James Bond spoof called, “Operation Kid Brother.” This was a colossal dud, so Neil tried again to get into the Ian Fleming films by changing his name to Neil Lazenby, hoping no one would notice that George chose not to sign on for a second outing. Even Jill St. John wasn’t fooled.
Neil Armstrong’s brother Sean was also considered to fly in the Apollo 11. Sean was an accomplished pilot in his own right (crop dusting counts!) but unfortunately for him, he was fourth in line behind Neil, Buzz Aldrin, and Michael Collins. Sean did think at one point that he was going to get the nod when Aldrin fell sick, but it turned out to only be a mild case of the sniffles.
Buzz Aldrin’s name was an adaptation of his mother’s maiden name, Buzzi; he and Laugh-In star Ruth Buzzi are second cousins, seven times removed.
Even if he hadn’t been the second man on the moon, Edwin Eugene “Buzz” Aldrin’s legacy was already solidly entrenched in aviation history. He had, in his career as an Air Force fighter pilot, made so many low-level/high-speed passes over flight lines and control facilities that this practice became known as “buzzing the tower” in his honor.
Buzz Cola has rendered the entire town of Springfield sterile. Even the animals.
Buzz Cola’s sterility march continues! Next stop, Shelbyville!